


You Saved my Life

by TeamCharlieSwan



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: All Human, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Tragedy, Bullying, Gen, OOC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 45,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29495868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamCharlieSwan/pseuds/TeamCharlieSwan
Summary: Bella lives on her own after her mother and father passed away. She and Eric have been bullied by the Cullen clan throughout all of high school. Eric can't take it anymore and brings a gun to school. Bella tries to calm him down and talk some sense into him, but she is unsuccessful. He pulls the trigger, changing Forks forever.All Human. Very OOC. Mostly canonic couples. Trigger Warning: mild violence, swearing, and non-graphic mention of suicide. (I am not coming from Wattpad...)
Kudos: 3





	1. The Incident

"The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back." - Abigail Van Buren

"One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered." - Michael J. Fox

**BPOV**

I woke with a start as my alarm blared through my room. Ugh… another day of suffering. I reached over and turned the alarm off before dragging myself out of bed and into the shower. I let the soothing smell of my strawberry shampoo calm my senses, trying to relax and not think about what was to come. Today was going to be a bad day. I could feel it.

I got dressed quickly, just a plain white t-shirt and a pair of jeans; nothing to make me stand out like I was looking for attention. Making my way downstairs, I grabbed the last pop tart from the box before writing a note to go to the store. I ran out of the kitchen, snatching my jacket and reaching the car door in a rush. I do not like being late.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I got out of the toasty cab and started walking towards the school building, ignoring the light rain the hardly ever stopped in this dreary town. I sighed as I reached my locker, glumly putting the code in and opening it to grab my books.

"Well, well, well… what do we have here?" I froze as I heard the sinister voice of Rosalie Hale.

Great… and so the torture begins…

"Look who is it, Edward." Added Jasper.

"My… If it isn't Swan - the Chief's little embarrassment." Continued Emmett.

"Stop it guys, you're wrong. She isn't an embarrassment…" said Edward. Wait…What? He was defending me? "She's a mistake!"

Ouch. Well, that was new. I felt tears pricking in my eyes. Already? The day is just starting. God, I need to toughen up. Today was going to be a long day.

The crowd that had gathered around us roared with laughter. I heard a round of compliments as everyone praised Edward on his new insult. I should have known he would just insult me. Edward Cullen…defending me? Right. Like that's ever gonna happen. He was the ring leader of them all. He picked on me, his family joined in, and everyone who didn't want to get picked on as well followed suit.

"What's the matter, Swan? Cat got your tongue?"

Of course, this just made the crowd laugh even more, if that was possible. I looked down at my feet and could feel my face heating up. He smiled when he found the reaction he was looking for.

"Awww… She's blushing Edward. How cute." Sneered Rosalie.

Alice spoke up. "Maybe Swan here has a crush."

As if arrogant assholes were my type...

"Look out, Edward, pretty soon you'll have a stalker!" Someone shouted from the crowd.

"Before long she'll be following you home!" Added another.

"That's creepy, Swan! I don't want you near my house! Stay away from me!" Edward screamed in mock terror. He laughed at his supposed cleverness as the herd of students cheered him on.

"I don't like you, Edward!" I winced as I waited for his outburst. "Please just leave me alone." I whispered in a vain attempt to stop the harassment before it got out of control and he started a rumor that I was 'following him home.'

"Excuse me, Swan? Did you say something? No, I must be hearing things, right? 'Cause I specifically remember telling you I didn't want any remarks coming from you when I'm speaking… that I didn't want to hear that repulsive, raspy little voice of yours. Ever. You know, you ought to show me some damn respect around here. I own this school; these hallways you walk through are mine. You're a nobody, Swan. No one loves you, no one cares for you, no one even likes you. Hell, I don't even think Charlie liked you!" That hit a nerve. Everyone in the town knew of the Police Chief's tragic death, and it brought me close to tears whenever someone brought him up.

"Are you listening to me, Swan? When I talk to you, I expect you to hear what I'm saying! You should be glad I even speak to you at all. You have no friends, and here I am wasting my time talking to you, a complete loser, when I could be spending my time on things that actually matter. You're such a worthless waste of space. I don't know why I even bother. Get out of my face Swan, it's hurting my eyes. I'd rather look at something more pleasant."

I was nearly in tears at the end of his speech. He was so full of himself. That was the most he'd ever spoken to me. I'd rather he ignore me than go through this hell. I grabbed my books from my locker and scurried to Spanish class. Thankfully there were none of the Cullens in this class; I was not in the mood for any more shit from Edward and his posse.

As class began I started to think about what Edward had said, which was not a good thing. It couldn't be true though, right? Charlie liked me… I mean sure, we never were that close, but that's just because he was a quiet person, right? He just wasn't a touchy-feely type of guy…

The negative voice in the back of my head chose to make its presence known.

Charlie wasn't a quiet person. He hung out with his work buddies all the time. And he went fishing with Billy and Harry every weekend. Everyone in town knew him; he had no enemies, except for the few that were behind bars… he was a 'social butterfly' as my mother would put it.

But then… why were we never that close? Maybe he didn't like me. Maybe I was a mistake. Maybe he just wasn't ready for parenthood, wasn't ready for me… just like Renee. She couldn't deal with me so she left and got remarried. I wonder what she would have done if she had known she'd die a few years after leaving Forks. Would she have stayed? Been a part of my life? No… she would have left sooner, gone and lived her life to the fullest, not having to worry about some pesky little kid.

Edward's right. I am a nobody. No one cares about me, I have no friends. No one loves me. My own parents didn't love me for Christ's sake! I'm nothing but a worthless waste of space, my life is so insignificant.

I sat there and pondered my purpose in life, or lack thereof. What if I were to just disappear? Would anyone even really notice? Maybe they would notice, maybe they'd be sad, even. Who am I kidding? They'd only be sad that they lost a little play toy… their little pushover they could torment every day. Maybe I should just disappear. It'd be for my own good. Hell, it'd be better for everyone if I were gone. But where could I go? I had no one left to move in with. Both my parents were gone, no relatives, no friends that would let me crash at their place. I didn't have enough money to move anywhere. But what else could I do, I mean really? I'm not a fan of suicide, it just seems to be painful, no matter how I play it out. And thinking about getting out of this town doesn't help. I couldn't leave the place that was so important to Charlie.

I sighed as I tried to focus in class. Thinking was not good. Thinking was painful. The bell finally rang, and the day lugged on at a painful pace as I continued to bag on myself. I almost rejoiced when the bell rang signaling it was time for lunch. I reached my locker then bought food from the vending machine without running into one of the Cullens. Hopefully, I could just escape to the library and read a book or something.. maybe work on homework.

Luck was not on my side. The library was closed because the librarian was sick, and it was such a small school there were no spare teachers to take her place. I groaned inwardly as I made my way towards the cafeteria. I slowly made my way into the cafeteria and quietly found an empty table without being noticed. It was close to the doors, making for a speedy escape in case things took a turn for the worse. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all. I ate my food in silence as my eyes wandered. It was strangely quiet… something wasn't right.

As if on cue Edward and his family stood up and zeroed in on whoever had just entered the cafeteria, surprisingly not stopping to insult me. Perhaps they had just had enough for one day. I looked up and saw Eric Yorkie. He was the only other kid in the school who Edward regularly picked on, aside from me of course. Edward walked up to him and gave him grief for being late to lunch at 'his school' and started poking fun at his oily hair and bad skin.

I looked at Eric with pity, and then I stopped. I knew how much I hated pitiful looks, although I only ever received them from the doctor or the school nurse. And Angela Webber, my ex-best friend who I cut ties with when the bullying started. But as I stopped my pitiful glance, it turned to a more curious stare. Something wasn't right. Eric was sweating, shaking. His eyes were frantic as he winced with every word Edward said. He clutched his bag furiously and held his hand was behind it as if he was hiding something. I could see he was getting more and more anxious. Something was definitely not right.

"What's the matter Yorkie? Are you tired of hearing the truth? Have you finally had enough?" Edward sneered.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Eric screamed. As he spoke he threw his backpack down on the ground and lifted his hand towards Edward's face.

I brought my hand to my mouth to cover a gasp and heard several blood-curdling screams. In Eric's hand was a gun, and he looked ready to kill. I jumped up and backed into the table, my heart hammering in my chest. Eric was mere feet away from me, shaking and screaming, and although it seemed he was out for the Cullens, mainly Edward, I was scared for my life.

Edward froze, his eyes going wide as he focused on the gun. He started to back up when Eric yelled.

"DON'T MOVE! DON'T MOVE OR I'LL… I'LL KILL YOU!"

I heard a small whimper from Alice as she grabbed onto Jaspers hand and tears started falling from her eyes. Emmett looked terrified, an expression I never thought I'd see on his face, and snuck a look at Rosalie, who for once didn't have an evil sneer on her face. Edward brought his hands up in front of him and went completely rigid. As for me, I was silently cursing the librarian for forcing me to eat in the cafeteria today and surveying the room for any possible escape.

Eric slowly backed towards the cafeteria doors and shoved a table in front of them, never taking his eyes, or his aim, off Edward. We heard an alarm play over the school speakers and a call for everyone that was not in the cafeteria to evacuate the school. Someone must have called the cops from their cell phone; I could hear sirens getting closer to the school.

I stood up from my crouched position by the table looked towards Eric, who looked back with crazed eyes.

"Eric... Eric, what are you doing?" I said in my calmest voice, though I could hear it quiver with fear. All the Cullens looked over to me with half furious, half scared looks, but didn't say anything.

"What does it look like I'm doing, Bella? I'm solving all of our problems! He won't mess with us anymore! I'll be free! I won't have to deal with this constant shit anymore. He's just getting what he deserves. WHAT THEY ALL DESERVE!" he said. He pointed to gun towards Edward, then waved it around, earning a few more screams from the teenagers behind us. Everyone had huddled into the farthest corner, but Eric was blocking the only entrance. I could see through the cafeteria windows that police officers were approaching, along with an EMT and Dr. Cullen.

No… Nonononono. He was going to shoot Edward. He was going to kill him. I could see it in his eyes. Maybe if I stalled him, or I knocked the gun out of his hand, the cops could make it in before anyone got hurt.

"Eric, please. Just put the gun down, no one has to get hurt." The Cullens again looked at me with bewildered expressions, confused.

"What are you saying, Bella? You're siding with them? After everything you've been through? After everything they've put you through? They treat you worse than me, and you're defending them?"

He had a point. Why did I want to help them? What on Earth could possess me to help them? They deserved to be punished, but to die? No. It was crazy that I felt the need to save them, but all I could think about was Eric waving that gun around, and what would happen to him if he pulled the trigger.

"I know Eric, I know. Edward's an asshole, and he should be punished, they all should, but that doesn't mean they deserve to die, Eric." I had no idea if I was even helping at all when Eric replied.

"But they do! They do, Bella, don't you see that? The only way they will stop hurting people is if I hurt them!" he shouted, sounding more frantic with every word.

"No, Eric! That's not true! Do you really want to go to jail? Or die? As soon as you pull that trigger, the police are going to barge in here or shoot you. Is that what you want? Are they really worth dying for?" I had to get to him. Time was running out. I could see his hand shaking worse than before, his finger on the trigger twitching.

"I guess we'll have to find out." He whispered. He brought his hand down from Edward's face and lowered it towards his chest. This was it. I was out of time.

"ERIC, NO!" I ran towards him with all the speed I had in me, grabbed his hand, and pushed it towards the ground. I heard the loud crack of the gun being fired and the screams of Edward and his family as we fell to the ground. There was shouting from the policemen as they rammed through the door and grabbed the gun as it slid across the room. Something warm touched my stomach, and I heard someone calling my name. The last thing I remember was thinking _I'm too late. He's dead._

* * *

**EPOV**

I woke up with a grunt and rolled to the other side of the bed. I let out a groan as my mother announced it was time to wake up for school. I love Esme, I truly do, but at this time in the morning... I'm not in a particularly loving mood. I got up and walked down the stairs, rubbing my stomach with my eyes half-closed.

"Ew. Put on a shirt, Edward." Alice sneered from her position on the lap of a still half asleep Jasper.

"Jasper's not wearing one." I grabbed a plate and decided to get my food before Emmett came cleared the place out.

"Mother. Edward's half-naked. Please tell him his indecency is unacceptable." She whined, whispering to me, "The difference is, Jazzy is hot, you're not!" Earning a chuckle from Jasper.

Esme walked into the room, and Alice played innocent, putting a pout on her face. That evil little pixie… "Alice, leave him alone, he's tired. You're just provoking him." Ha.

Emmett walked into the kitchen, eyes closed, and his hand on his stomach. Is that what I looked like?

"I'm hungry." He bellowed. Did he really have to speak so loud all the time?

"What's new Emmett?" Rose said from behind as she grabbed a plate.

"Morning, babe." He smiled as he pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Ew, Em. I love you, really, I do, but you need a shower. And some deodorant."

Emmett pouted and went to grab a plate, piling it high with food. How he could eat that much just didn't make sense to me.

Carlisle came rushing down the stairs, grabbing a bagel from the toaster and kissing Esme lightly. Gross. Weren't parents supposed to grow out of being so touchy? Alice voiced my opinions for me. "Gross. Dad, go to work."

Carlisle just chuckled before ruffling her hair. "Don't like it, leave" he said before kissing Esme on the forehead and picking up his car keys. "Goodbye, everyone. See you after work. I love you all."

After eating we departed to our rooms, getting ready for school. I used to think about school as purgatory, but with my newfound popularity... well let's just say it makes everything better. I ruled this school. I was the most popular guy, and I wasn't even a senior. The girls wanted me; the guys envied me but were smart enough to act like my friend. Everyone loved me, unlike the school we attended before moving to Forks. Well, everyone I cared about. There were a few that were terrified of me, and I liked it that way. Yorkie was an easy target, and Swan, she was just such a pushover. A little fear kept me comfortably at the top of the food chain, so to speak. I got in the shower, grabbing the body wash as I continued my inner musings. I actually enjoyed school now. Picking on that dorky kid Swan was the best part of my day. It's the whole reason I was who I was. Mr. Popular. The coolest guy to hang around with.

Exiting the shower, I pulled a towel around my waist and dried my hair with another. I quickly got dressed, looking at the clock. 6:32. The bell rang at 7:00, so I was good on time. I walked to the garage and went straight to the Volvo, waiting for my siblings. Alice and Jasper filed in, holding hands as always, and patiently waited for Rose and Emmett. What could possibly be taking them so long? Ugh, I didn't even want to know.

We made it to school in about ten minutes. I liked to drive fast, though I had never gotten a ticket. I walked into the hallway, my family trailing behind me, and made a beeline towards Swan's locker. She was there, of course, wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Ordinary. I don't know why she didn't dress nicely like other girls.

Rosalie spoke first. "Well, well, well… what do we have here?" she spoke in a sinister tone.

Then Jasper, "Look who it is, Edward."

"My… If it isn't Swan- the Chief's little embarrassment." continued Emmett. We all knew the right words to say to make her break down.

"Stop it guys, you're wrong. She isn't an embarrassment…" Swan looked up in bewilderment. "She's a mistake!"

I got several comments and high fives for that. Boy, it couldn't get any better than this. Swan was standing there, not making a sound. This was the perfect opportunity. "What's the matter, Swan? Cat got your tongue?"

And… cue the blush. There it is! She looked down to the floor, her cheeks blazing.

"Awww… She's blushing Edward. How cute." Sneered Rosalie.

"Maybe Swan here has a crush." Oh, nice one Alice. This should be enough fuel for a week.

"Look out Edward, pretty soon you'll have a stalker!" Someone shouted from the crowd.

"Before long she'll be following you home!" Added another.

"That's creepy, Swan! I don't want you near my house! Stay away from me!" I screamed as if I were afraid. I laughed. I was quite the comedian. The herd of students cheered me on.

"I don't like you, Edward!" What? Did Swan just talk back to me? She winced as she realized her mistake. "Please just leave me alone." This was the perfect excuse to make her more scared of me.

"Excuse me, Swan? Did you say something? No, I must be hearing things, right?" I acted angrily. "'Cause I specifically remember telling you I didn't want any remarks coming from you when I'm speaking… that I didn't want to hear that repulsive, raspy little voice of yours. Ever. You know, you ought to show me some damn respect around here. I own this school; these hallways you walk through are mine. You're a nobody, Swan. No one loves you, no one cares for you, no one even likes you. Hell, I don't even think Charlie liked you!" That hit a nerve; I could see it in her eyes. She looked like she was about to cry. So close, come on...

"Are you listening to me, Swan? When I talk to you, I expect you to hear what I'm saying! You should be glad I even speak to you at all. You have no friends, and here I am wasting my time talking to you, a complete loser, when I could be spending my time on things that actually matter. You're such a worthless waste of space. I don't know why I even bother. Get out of my face Swan, it's hurting my eyes. I'd rather look at something more pleasant."

I think that was the most I'd ever spoken to her. I watched as she grabbed her books from her locker and all but ran to class. I didn't take it too far, did I?

The rest of the day was uneventful. I passed Yorkie in between classes but let him walk by without a word. My heart wasn't in it. Maybe I used up all my 'greatness' on Swan. The bell rang signaling lunch. Walking into the cafeteria, my siblings and I sat at our usual table. It was quiet for a few minutes until Alice spoke up.

"You guys, I have a really bad feeling. Like something is gonna go wrong today. I don't know what it is… I just can't shake it."She looked really worried.

"Alice, calm down. Nothing's gonna go wrong." Rose said, rolling her eyes.

"Seriously, Rose, I'm not kidding. Remember last time I had a bad feeling like this? That's the day Mom and Dad said we were moving. It's like that but 10 times worse."

"It's ok Alice, everything will be fine. Don't worry." Jasper tried to console her. The cafeteria was eerily quiet, and Eric Yorkie walked in. Perfect time to get Alice's mind off of her bad 'feelings'.

I nodded my head in his direction, standing up and waiting for them to follow. We walked up to Yorkie, ready to break him down. As I zeroed in on him, I noticed Swan sitting at a table to my right. I didn't notice her before. Oh well, I'll get to her later. I started on Eric, giving him grief for being late at 'my school' then decided to make fun of his permanently greasy hair and pimpled face. He looked jumpy and held his backpack close to him. Something was wrong... Maybe this is what Alice was talking about. I decided to overlook it.

"What's the matter Yorkie? Are you tired of hearing the truth? Have you finally had enough?" I sneered at him. Bad move.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Eric screamed. As he spoke he threw his backpack down on the ground and lifted his hand towards my face.

I froze, my eyes zeroing in on the gun in his hand. I heard several screams from behind me and saw Swan jump up. The gun was pointed straight towards me as Yorkie shook with rage and fear.

I started moving backward when Yorkie went off again. "DON'T MOVE! DON'T MOVE OR I'LL… I'LL KILL YOU!"

No... This can't be happening. I wasn't ready to die. I heard a small whimper come from Alice. I brought my hands up in front of me and went completely rigid when I saw Yorkie's eyes. He was going to kill me. I could tell. I was going to die.

Yorkie slowly moved towards the cafeteria doors and shoved a table in front of them, never looking away from me. Why wasn't anyone helping us? Yorkie lowered the gun towards my chest. My breathing hitched. No, please God, no. I closed my eyes briefly, and when I opened them, I saw Swan getting up and moving towards Yorkie. Great. She was going to help him. She was probably going to take the gun and shoot me herself. Eric looked over to her, as she began to speak in a calm voice that contrasted the loud shouts of Yorkie.

"Eric... Eric, what are you doing?" What was she doing? She was going to get us killed.

"What does it look like I'm doing, Bella? I'm solving all of our problems! He won't mess with us anymore! I'll be free! I won't have to deal with this constant shit anymore. He's just getting what he deserves. WHAT THEY ALL DESERVE!" he screamed, waving his aim between my siblings and me.

"Eric, please. Just put the gun down, no one has to get hurt." What? She was helping us?

"What are you saying, Bella? You're siding with them? After everything you've been through? After everything they've put you through? They treat you worse than me, and you're defending them?"

He was right, why was she helping us? After everything we've said to her, she should be angrier than him.

"I know Eric, I know. Edward's an asshole," wow. I wasn't expecting that. Maybe she wasn't trying to help… "He should be punished, they all should, but that doesn't mean they deserve to die, Eric." I don't know if anything she was saying was registering in his head, but she was doing a hell of a lot more than any of us were. Still, it didn't seem to be helping. He looked like a rabid animal, losing more of his sanity by the second.

"But they do! They do, Bella, don't you see that? The only way they will stop hurting people is if I hurt them!" I could see his finger on the trigger twitching. This is it. I'm going to die.

"No, Eric! That's not true! Do you really want to go to jail? Or die? As soon as you pull that trigger, the police are going to barge in here or shoot you. Is that what you want? Are they really worth dying for?" I couldn't focus on her words, which were sounding further and further away as I felt my heart rate increase. I was out of time.

"I guess we'll have to find out." He whispered. He lowered the gun towards my chest and pulled his finger back slowly.

"ERIC, NO!" I saw Swan run towards Yorkie, smacking his hand towards the ground. I heard the gunfire and then saw it fly across the room, the two of them falling to the ground. I heard the screams of my family and saw policemen and my father run into the room. Yorkie was ripped from the ground and handcuffed as they dragged him from the room. I was frozen. I looked down at my stomach. I wasn't dead. I wasn't shot. I looked up with momentary relief until I saw my father kneeling over Swan, who had blood soaking through her shirt. She was lying on the floor unconscious.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! The next chapter is going to jump around a bit from different POVs. Most chapters will stick to one or two, with only a few scenes repeated from different perspectives, but it's just to give you a taste of everyone's mindset. Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think. I have the first 18 chapters complete and will post 1-2 a week until I'm caught up, then the chapters will be spaced out to one every 1-2 weeks.


	2. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cullen family reflects after Bella saves them in the cafeteria.

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference." - Elie Wiesel

"Fate is never fair. You are caught in a current much stronger than you are; struggle against it and you'll drown not just yourself but those who try to save you. Swim with it, and you'll survive." - Cassandra Clare

* * *

**EdPOV**

Everything was a blur. I faintly remember a police officer running up to us and asking if we were ok. All I could do was nod, frozen and confused. The next thing I knew my father and an EMT were carrying Swan out to the ambulance on a stretcher, and I could hear him yelling at us to follow the ambulance to the hospital. I couldn't think straight, so I just did as I was told.

The race to the hospital was short, under 10 minutes, and then we were rushing into the hospital after my father. They rolled Swan into the operating room, us all still following him when a male nurse stopped us at the double doors, informing us it was staff only beyond that point. He ushered us to a sitting area.

A few minutes passed, the silence deafening until I heard my mother's cries as she entered the room. She ran towards me, grabbing me in a hug and squeezing the life out of me. I shook my head, getting a grip on myself and taking in my surroundings. Esme was hugging everyone, kissing their cheeks, and mumbling something about her 'babies.'

About an hour had passed before Carlisle came around the corner, walking slowly to us. He pulled me into a hug without saying a word. Then Alice. Then Rosalie. Then we were all standing there in a big family hug. We broke apart, still silent, and followed Carlisle to his office. Carlisle sat at his desk while everyone else sat on the couches that adorned the center of the room. _  
_

Clearing his throat, Carlisle began to speak. "We removed the bullet from Bella's left lung, just a little away from her heart. She's lost a lot of blood; they're giving her transfusions and closing her up now." He sighed, placing his head in his hands, looking older than he ever had at that moment. "What the hell happened?" he asked, exasperated.

It was a while before anyone said anything, Emmett being the one to speak up. "It-it all happened so fast. One minute we were talking to Yorkie and the next minute he had a gun shoved in Edward's face."

"Well, I'm just glad you're all ok." He said quietly. "Poor Bella…" A pained look etched his features.

Again, I was left to wonder. Why? Why did she help me? Help us? Why did she tackle Yorkie? Why did she even try? It made no sense, after everything we've done to her… We spent the next few minutes just sitting in each other's presence, glad to be alive _._ Could I say the same for Swan? Would she get the chance to live? Eventually, we all got up to go home and eat, Carlisle having to stay behind another hour to finish his shift and some paperwork.

The rest of the night passed much like the afternoon, in a haze. I was left with nothing to do but think. What the hell happened today? Had we really driven Yorkie so crazy? What about Swan? How was she not crazier? How did she not grab the gun and do the deed first? Why did she save me? What was going to happen to Yorkie, surely he can't go back to school. I'll be damned if I have to go back and see him again. He'd probably bring a bomb next time. All I could think about at that moment was death, and how I somehow managed to escape it. I knew I was going to die. I could see it in his eyes; he was there to kill me. And then Swan… and then the hospital… and then now… I was _alive_. Alive, not in the morgue, not the one bleeding out on the floor in front of my father, not the one lying in the hospital bed now... Why?

* * *

**APOV**

I sat in bed, wrapped in Jasper's warm arms. "I knew today was going to be bad. I just knew it! How did I miss it? I saw his eyes, I saw him shaking, I saw his hand… And then he just... just pulled the gun out and… Oh, Jasper! I thought Edward was going to die! I thought we all were going to die!" I sobbed.

Jasper's arms tightened around me in response to my cries. "Shh… It's ok, Ally… you're ok, I'm ok, we're all ok." He soothed me as we laid there just holding each other.

How could it be though? If Yorkie snapped like that, then I could only imagine what Swan would do if she had the chance. All the awful things we said to her today, how was she not angrier than him? Why did she save us? Why did she take the bullet for us? _Us_? The ones who have tormented her all her high school life. The ones who have made her life living hell for years now. Why did she even bother? It just didn't make sense. I couldn't take it anymore; I just curled into Jasper's side and closed my eyes.

* * *

**JPOV**

I sighed as Alice curled into my side, shutting her eyes and floating to sleep. I came so close to losing her today, my best friend, my person. Yorkie could have shot her, and she would be in Swan's place, in the hospital, or the operating room, or worse, a body bag… I swallowed the lump that grew in my throat. A shudder rippled through my body as I thought of life without Alice. I couldn't bear it. I couldn't imagine how Yorkie snapped before Swan did. Now I felt awful for the way I'd treated them. I was oblivious to the real-life consequences of my actions. I would be forever grateful to Swan... _Bella..._ for saving my brother, and my Alice, from death. My eyelids drooped as I drifted to sleep.

* * *

**EmPOV**

Rosalie sat on my lap, looking deep in thought. She's so beautiful… I can't believe how close I was to losing her today. If Yorkie wasn't already locked up, I'd kill him myself. No one messes with my family. I've never been so scared shitless in my life. Anyone could tell Yorkie was ready to kill, and to me, it seemed as if we all should have been ready to say our final prayers. I was seconds away from losing everything I loved. And then Swan... she just appeared out of nowhere. How the hell someone so small gained the courage to tackle someone with a gun, I'll never know. All I knew is I would always be thankful for what she did today _._ I hope she'll make a recovery so I can apologize for how I've treated her and thank her for what she did today.

* * *

**EsmePOV**

_Oh, Bella... Poor, poor Bella._ She had to be ok, she just had to be. I can't imagine how anyone could ever shoot such a lovely girl... Carlisle came in from the bathroom dressed in his pajamas, grief evident on his face. He sat next to me quietly, taking my hands into his own. I waited for him to begin. Whatever he was about to say was certain to be bad news.

"It turns out," he began, "the kids, Edward being the worst, have been bullying Eric for quite some time. Since high school started actually. That's what the cops said. Today, he just... snapped."

"What?" I exclaimed. "Bullying? There's no way Carlisle, that can't be true."

"I'm afraid it's true, dear. Eric kept a notebook, a journal of sorts, in his backpack of everything they've said. Some of these things are brutal Esme... I can't believe they would say such things." He looked more than disappointed, he looked angry and confused.

"But, why Bella? If they were the ones... bullying... why is Bella the one in the hospital? Surely she didn't join in..."

"No, no she didn't. When I got the call at the hospital all they said was to get in the ambulance and go. When I got there... Oh, Esme, it was horrible. Eric had a gun pointed at Edward's chest... he was waving it around and yelling... then he just pointed it at Edward and pulled the trigger. Bella tackled Eric to the ground, smacking the gun across the floor so we could get in, but it was too late Esme, he shot her… I know when Charlie died she slipped through the cracks and was able to stay in her house living alone. Once someone takes a closer look, she's going to be put into the system. I can't allow that to happen, Esme. I care for her, she's such a good kid, and I know you care for her too..." he started rambling.

"Carlisle-" I started.

"I know, Esme. I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm just flustered. I just can't let her go to some home, someplace unsafe, I just..."

"Carlisle. I love Bella. And I know you do too. And she saved our children's lives... for that, I'll be forever grateful. If you're suggesting what I think you are, then I'm on the same page. I want to take her in, Carlisle." I really hoped he did too. Bella was such a good kid, and it just seemed right.

"Wait, you do?" He looked surprised.

"Yes. I really do." I laughed.

"Are you sure, Esme?"

"Yes, Carlisle." I chuckled. "I can't bear to let her go. We should have offered when Charlie passed."

He broke out into a breathtaking smile. Oh, how I loved him. "I'll ask her as soon as she wakes up..."

"And I'll talk to the kids tomorrow." I really hoped we could do this for Bella. 

"I love you." He sighed.

"As I love you." I chuckled gently, kissing him goodnight before shutting off the light. And I meant it with every fiber of my being. _God, please let this work. I don't know what I would do if Bella wasn't alright._ Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read! I know things may seem a bit strange, with the Cullen kids feeling regret despite being cruel for so long, as well as Carlisle/Esme having such strong feelings towards Bella. This will all be explained in the coming chapters, so be patient with me. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Also, since I already have the first chapters written, I'm going to post two a day until I am caught up.


	3. The Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grateful to Bella for saving his children's lives, Carlisle makes an offer to take Bella in.

"Never be so busy as not to think of others." - Mother Teresa

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” - Alexander Pope

**CPOV**

I woke up to my loving wife calling my name gently and peppering my face with kisses. Oh, if she knew what she did to me…

"Carlisle... It's time to go to work honey…" I just lay there, waiting for her to continue. "Carlisle, wake up, we have a long day ahead of us, sweetheart…" She continued kissing me as a smile crept up my face. "Carlisle, you sneaky old man, get up!" She laughed. _Busted…_

I laughed as I opened my eyes, grabbing her for a real kiss, then getting up and out of bed. "Good morning, love." I smiled. She chuckled again before hitting me with a pillow and walking into the closet. "Need any help getting dressed?" I called after her. _  
_

"You wish…" she laughed. _  
_

I shook my head as I made my way to the shower. There was so much to do today. First things first, I needed to get to the hospital and make sure Bella was awake. She should be waking up sometime this morning. _If she wakes up at all…_

No. I would not allow myself to think that way. We got to her in time, stopped the bleeding fast enough, everything is going to be fine. After exiting the shower and getting ready for the day, I made my way downstairs. As usual, everyone was at the table; I immediately felt my rage from last night return. They all sat quietly, looking fearful. _They damn well should be afraid._

"Never in my life have I ever been so disappointed in you before. You better count your blessings today and be grateful I have to leave early this morning. No one leaves the house until I get home, and then we are going to sit and have a family meeting." They nodded mutely. I did everything in my power to calm down as I gently kissed Esme, said goodbye, and grabbed an apple. I rushed to my car and drove to the hospital. The second I walked through the double doors the new nurse walked up to me, looking flustered.

"Dr. Cullen! Good morning! Um, the patient was just taken off her sleeping meds and should be waking soon. Should I be in there when she wakes? Or do you want to be in there? Or should we both be in there? Can I get you anything? Coffee? Breakfast? I can make a run to-"

"Andrew! Breathe. Relax. I will go check on Bella soon, and yes I'll be there when she wakes up. As for you, take a deep breath, get something to drink, and calm down." As much as I tried to be respectful, I was _not_ in the mood to deal with an amateur nurse... Especially one who's never had a patient before.

"Ok... Yeah, I'll do that. Can I get you anything? Coffee? Orange Juice? Water?"

I sighed. The day had just started and already my patience was running low. "Sure, Andrew. I'll take a coffee." I said as I began to retreat into my office. Anything I could do to get a few minutes of quiet time to gain control of my emotions would be wonderful.

As I walked in, I sat on one of the couches and rubbed my temples. What was I going to do once Bella was awake? Would she want to live with us? Would she be angry we hadn't asked her sooner? When Charlie had died? What if she said no? What would happen then? Would we ever see her again? Would she be safe? So many questions… the only way to get the answers was to swallow my anxiety and go talk to Bella. With a rather large sigh and a bit of a groan, I got off the couch and headed towards the elevators.

Making my way towards Bella's room, I passed by Nurse Jackie who handed me a stack of papers with a polite 'good morning'. Running my hand through my hair, I looked down at what she gave me - paperwork. I turned back around, suddenly impatient to see Bella. After I dropped the files onto my desk, I jogged back to the elevator before it closed. Rounding the corner, I felt someone slam into me, hot coffee seeping through my clothes.

"Damn it!" I shouted. This morning couldn't be any more dreadful. _  
_

"Dr. Cullen! I'm-I'm so sorry! It-it was an accident, I'm so sorry!" Andrew stammered. I raised my hand to cut him off. Without another word I walked past him, making my way to the staff locker rooms in the back of the hospital. I was left with no choice but to wear the only clothes I had: light blue scrubs. I guess I was going to spend the rest of the day looking like a nurse. With another grunt, I made my way to Bella's room, avoiding everyone at all costs.

My heart ached as soon as I saw her. Her face was a mask of pain, and she had a breathing tube under her nose, along with multiple needles coming out of her arm. I made my way to the chair in the corner of the room, grabbing her chart as I passed it. According to the chart, she had taken to the transfusions extremely well, only needed a small number of stitches, and the only medicine she was on was steroids and morphine _._

She should be waking up any minute now…

Any minute…

Still nothing.

I sighed as I leaned back in the chair. A few minutes passed with no change. I was grateful at the moment to live in such a small town, as I could stay in here and just wait without neglecting any other patients. With yet another sigh, probably the 20th this morning, I sat and waited. And I waited some more… 15 minutes passed and I groaned. I'd always considered myself a patient person, but today… not so much.

Her face scrunched up as she turned her head to the side, letting out a moan. I shot up out of my seat and rushed to her side. It took a few minutes, but eventually, she opened her eyes. All I saw was fear - heart-stopping, gut-wrenching fear. "Carlisle!" she shouted.

"What? What is it Bella, are you in pain? Are you ok? What is it?"

"Carlisle, he's dead, isn't he? I was too late, he's dead, I'm so sorry Carlisle, I tried to help, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry-" she was full-on sobbing. Wait, what? Who was she talking about, Eric?

"Who's dead, Bella? Calm down, honey, slow your breathing, you're going to hurt yourself."

"Edward! He's dead, isn't he? I tried to help, but I wasn't fast enough. I'm sorry Carlisle, so, so sorry-"

"Bella, stop. Edward's not dead. Nobody is."

"What?" She looked up at me with confusion, her sobs quieting into sniffles and hiccups. "But… I heard the gun, Eric shot him…"

"No, Bella… Eric shot you. You jumped in front of him to stop him, and he shot you instead by accident… Nobody else was hurt."

She looked even more confused, then concentrated for a second, her hand going to her ribcage. She wordlessly grabbed the hem of her shirt and raised it, gasping at the sight. About 3 inches from the bandage placed over her wound was a purple and black bruise from being shot at such a close range. She pulled her shirt down and looked back at me, slightly less confused. She didn't speak, but I could see the questions in her eyes.

"Bella… you saved Edward's life. Probably multiple lives. Who knows how many people would have gotten hurt. Thank you. I know how awful, and just downright cruel they all were to Eric, but they're my children, and I can't imagine losing any of them. Thank you, Bella. I don't where I would be right now if…" I trailed off into silence, unable to actually say the words out loud. Instead, I switched topics, filling her in on her surgery, aftercare, and what it looked like going ahead. Once we had made it through the medicine talk and both seemed to have settled down a bit more, I figured it was time to discuss important matters.

"Bella, I'm not sure if you're going to be able to continue living alone. I know you were sort of overlooked by the system when your father passed away, but now that something this serious has happened and you've been hospitalized... Well, I think we should consider your options for the next few years."

I waited for her to take in what I was saying before I continued. "You know Esme and I care for you, right?" She hesitated, looking into my eyes before nodding her head. "Well, we just can't bear to see you sent someplace that might be unsafe, or see you forced to move across the country and move schools. I know this might seem like we're a bit late in asking, but we just feel like this is the right thing to do, only if you wanted to of course…" I sighed. _Just get it out, Carlisle._ "Bella, Esme and I want to foster you until you turn 18. Would you want to come live with us?"

The air was tense as she sat there in silence for a moment. She finally looked up at me, opening her mouth to speak. "No."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading another chapter! There's still more to come in the following chapters on why Esme and Carlisle are so close with Bella, so stay with me. As far as Bella slipping through the cracks when Charlie died and not being placed into the system, I know it's a bit of a stretch, but that's what fanfiction is for! You'll meet a social worker in the coming chapters to place Bella and close that issue.


	4. The Truth Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Bella rejects Carlisle's offer to move in, the truth is revealed.

"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts." - Kahlil Gibran

“Before you save the world, make sure your own house is in order.” - Charles F. Glassman

**BPOV**

Carlisle paused, waiting for my answer. He was asking me to live with the Cullens? The people who tortured me day in and day out? The people who got off on making my life hell? The people who preyed on my misery, lived off my pain? Is he insane? I looked up to see he was still waiting for an answer, and that's when I realized. _He doesn't know._

"No."

A look of shock came across his face, followed by confusion, then pain. "I-I don't… know what to say… May I ask why?"

Well, let's see what would happen if I moved in with the Cullen's... I could be murdered in my sleep. I could be pushed down the stairs. I could be pushed out of a window. I could be poisoned. I could walk through a door rigged with a bucket of pig's blood. Those were just the first to pop in my head. Of course, I wasn't stupid – enough – to say this out loud. "No offense Carlisle, but I think I know where I'm not wanted."

"Not wanted? Bella, Esme and I care for you dearly, of course you're wanted. What could possibly make you think otherwise?" he asked, confusion lacing his tone. Before I could respond, he fired off another question. "Is it because Esme and I didn't take you when your father passed?" He said this in a gentle tone, with no trace of anger or accusation, just sadness.

Clearly, Carlisle hadn't mentioned this idea to his children, or he would understand just what I was talking about. "Carlisle, have you asked anyone other than Esme if they even want a new person in the house?" _Cause Edward made it pretty clear to me he wants me nowhere near him or his home…_

"No, but of course they'll want you, Bella. Even they aren't cruel enough to force you into the system. They'll understand where you're coming from. They've all been there before." _What they'd understand is that I'm at risk of being sent to a new home, with new people, and a new school, and all the while somewhere very far, far away from them. They'd be jumping with joy to get rid of me. They're probably praying that I **do** get sent to someplace unsafe._ Carlisle must have understood I was having a hard time believing what he was trying to convince me of because he spoke up again. "Bella, I know what they did to Eric Yorkie was horrible, downright cruel, and if they survive the verbal beating tonight, you'll see they really are good kids…"

Was he really that oblivious? Could he not read between the lines, read my body language that was screaming discomfort? Fear? I didn't even want to be in the same building with them, let alone _live_ with them. "Carlisle…" I paused. If I snitched on them, life would only be about 15 times worse, and I couldn't say ' _I don't want to live with you_ ' without sounding unappreciative. They were kind enough to even consider fostering me, and if I said no I'd sound like an ungrateful brat. "I think you should go home and have a discussion with the rest of your family, and then tomorrow see if you want to ask me again."

Obviously I'd say no again, but once he got home and the rest of the Cullens found out what he was considering, they'd change his mind in a heartbeat. Then I'd be shipped off to someplace new. I almost smiled at the thought. Maybe school won't be so bad… I might even make some friends… or I could be completely invisible… Nobody would know who I am… it would be _my_ choice who I was. Then I thought of Charlie. This was his home, this is where his memory is alive, where he was loved and respected. I didn't want to give that up...

Carlisle interrupted my thoughts, sounding tired. "I don't know what you're going on about, but I'll go home and talk to everyone about it. I'm sure they'd love for you to be a part of the family. Please just consider it?" He looked at me with pleading eyes. Why did he want me to live with him so badly? Was it guilt?

I nodded timidly as Carlisle got up and left without another word. Once I was alone, everything caught up with me. Nobody died. Edward was alive. Eric was alive. No one was hurt. Well, aside from me... It felt like a substantial weight had been lifted off my shoulders. That brought the next question to the front of my mind. Why did I do it? Why did I save them?

I had always believed that all life is sacred; I guess I learned that from Charlie growing up. Even when he was arresting a criminal or booking them, he treated them with respect and always upheld their rights. He had no tolerance for the other officers treating them poorly. And yesterday… when I looked up and saw the expression on Edward's face, the look that said ' _I'm going to die_ ' I just couldn't let that happen. Yes, Edward was an appalling person, and I would have loved for him to be put in his place, but that didn't mean he deserved to die. Nobody deserved to have the death penalty be determined outside of the legal system. He was still human, still a person with feelings and emotions and a family. Who am I to decide who does and doesn't get to live? In reality, life would be much worse if Edward was dead. Sure, life for me would be less painful without Edward there to attack me daily, but what about everyone else? The whole town would be grieving from his death. I couldn't imagine what it would do to Esme and Carlisle. I couldn't do it. I couldn't let people suffer just because I was. Besides, when it really came down to it, the death of Edward Cullen would be far more tragic than the death of Bella Swan. There was no one left to mourn me.

Thinking hurt. I didn't like thinking. I took a deep breath, which was a big mistake. It felt like my side had been lit on fire. Taking a smaller breath, I sighed and rolled onto my good side, feeling the pain meds do their magic and pull me under.

* * *

**CPOV**

The second I left Bella's room, I rushed to the nurse's station. There was not a chance I'd be able to stay here the rest of the day. Jackie looked up at me and offered a gentle smile.

"How can I help you, Dr. Cullen?"

"Hello, Jackie. I'm just here to inform you I'll be heading home early today. I don't have any more procedures or appointments, and my family needs me home."

A worried look came across her face. "Oh, I'm so sorry Dr. Cullen. Of course, they do. We'll manage for the rest of the day."

"Thank you. Have a good day, Jackie." I said politely, walking to my office to collect my soiled clothing.

Walking out of the hospital I made a bee-line for my car. I could feel my anger building already as I thought of the conversation that would take place once I got home; the sensible part of my mind fought to control it. This family meeting would not go well if I did not maintain my composure, which was hardly ever a struggle for me.

The drive home was short, as usual, and I quickly made my way into the house and towards the dining room table. "Family meeting, downstairs, _now_!" I shouted, taking my seat at the head of the table. Esme was the first one in, coming from the kitchen.

"You're home early." She stated, giving me a peck on the lips before taking the seat to my right.

"The hospital didn't need me, and we have matters to discuss."

Jasper was the first one in the room, followed by Alice, then Emmett, Rosalie, and lastly Edward. They took their seats without a word, waiting for me to begin.

I cleared my throat to speak. "Never in my life have I ever been so _disappointed_ in you. What you all have done is inexcusable, and a disgrace to this family. I can't even begin to understand what on earth gave you the desire to bully someone, let alone to the point where they would see your death and potentially theirs as the only solution. You should all be given a worse punishment than Eric, _but_ -" I cut them off before they could defend themselves. "The judge in this town is not going to push for any legal proceedings, and any punishment your mother and I give you will not be to the extent you all deserve." A look of hope came across their faces. "That does not mean we will not try. Since the school is closed for the next few weeks, you will not leave this house until school starts back up again. Not to go to the store, not to go for a walk, not to play sports in the backyard, not for _anything_. We will be taking your phones and they will be shut off for the next 6 months. Alice and Rosalie, your credit card privileges will be canceled. Jasper and Emmett, all gaming systems will be brought into our room by dinner tonight. All your TVs will be disconnected. Anything other electronics or anything that provides any sort of entertainment is no longer yours. Esme, do you have anything to add?"

"I want all of your iPods and laptops as well. You have a new bedtime, too. After 8 o' clock, you are no longer allowed to leave your room. And that means you will be sleeping in your _own_ bedrooms. No sleepovers, no midnight make-out sessions, nothing. Do you understand?" She paused, waiting as they reluctantly nodded their heads. "Good. You are my children and I still love you, but there is absolutely no excuse for what you have done. I apologize ahead of time if I give you the cold shoulder or the silent treatment for the next few days, but I need time to wrap my head around this situation and how we move forward. You deserve every bit of your punishment, if not more." This was only just the beginning.

Jasper decided to take this time to speak. "You're right, Mom. We do deserve it. I know we let you both down. Speaking for myself, I intend on taking my punishment completely and owning up to my actions. What I have done to Eric and Bella is unforgivable, and I plan on making it right and apologizing, even though a simple 'sorry' is not enough. I will spend every day trying to make it up to her, and Eric, if I ever see him again. And as for you guys, I love you too, and I'm sorry how much I screwed up."

_Did he just say 'Bella?'_ "What does this have to do with Bella?" I asked cautiously, positive I didn't want to know the answer.

"I've treated her worse than Eric, and she deserves an apology as well." He said matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean you've treated her worse than Eric?" I asked, my voice rising. They all looked confused. What the hell was going on?

"Wait, Swan didn't rat us out?" Emmett asked.

"Are you telling me that you guys bullied Bella? _Worse_ than you bullied Eric?" It took all my self-control to keep my voice at a reasonable level, but I couldn't remember ever feeling so angry before.

"You did _what?"_ Esme asked quietly, standing up and looking angrier than I've ever seen her.

"I-I thought someone told you…" Alice explained.

"No, Alice, someone did _not_ tell me. In fact, I went to the hospital to ask Bella if she would let us foster her, and she said no because she thinks she'll be unwelcomed here. At first, I thought it was because we didn't ask her when Charlie died, but now you're telling me it's because of you guys? Are you kidding me? What has she _ever_ done to any of you to deserve that? She is nothing but a kind-hearted person, who is all alone, and you guys chose to harass her? And then she goes and _takes a bullet for you?_ " At this point, Alice was crying. I didn't care. How could they ever do something so atrocious to someone as sweet as Bella?

"Get out of here. Leave. Go to your rooms." Esme whispered.

I watched as they filed out of the room. I couldn't even look at them. _Where did we go wrong?_

"Did she really say that, Carlisle? Oh please, I really do want her to come live with us, and now she never will… I cannot believe them!" Esme cried to me. I nodded my head, trying to bring my anger down. It took a while, but after 10 minutes of silence, I spoke up.

"As much as I'd like to disagree, it really seems like they truly are sorry. Well, some of them, at least. I just don't know if they're sorry for what they've done, or sorry their actions caught up with them."

"I know, Carlisle. I just can't believe they would do that to poor Bella…" she looked saddened.

"I think we should call them back down in a bit and discuss Bella living with us. I'm a fool to think she'll say yes, but if they really are sorry for their actions, and like Jasper said, are going to work for her forgiveness, then I think we should ask their opinion of her coming to live with us just in case."

She nodded. "Carlisle... is this our fault? How did we not know? How could we have prevented this?" She shook her head like she was trying to shake off the negative thoughts. "How do we fix it? Can we?"

I paused for a minute to think. There was no quick fix to this, and accepting their apologies and believing we could simply move on was foolish. We needed to do some real work to get to the bottom of this and ensure we never returned to a situation like this. "I'll speak with some of the counselors in town and look into some youth therapists in the city. Clearly, there's some hurt that they need to work through, and we're not in the position to help with that." She nodded slowly, looking tired. "Maybe we should have seen this coming, knowing what the foster system is like. I thought we would be enough to heal them from that, but maybe I was wrong."

We sat together in silence for a moment longer, composing ourselves. Despite how justified I felt our anger was, if we wanted to have a productive conversation, we both needed to gather our thoughts, be prepared to express them, and be ready to listen. Esme looked at me questioningly, and I nodded. She stood to gather our children. It wasn't even ten in the morning, but it felt as if the day was stretching on and on. We had a long day ahead of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read! Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Things progress quickly in the next few chapters.


	5. Ms. Buckett

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella meets her social worker and receives life-changing news.

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." - Lemony Snicket

“No matter how long you train someone to be brave, you never know if they are or not until something real happens.” - Veronica Roth

**CPOV**

The kids took their seats at the table again, looking depressed and slightly scared. I looked back at my wife, took a deep breath, and jumped right in.

"I am sorry for raising my voice at you, but I will not apologize for what I said. Your mother and I care deeply for Bella, and what you have done has upset us immensely. I just… don't understand how you can treat someone so kind so terribly. Is it something we did? Did we not raise you strictly enough? Did we raise you too strictly? Are we too giving, not giving enough? Is it because we aren't around enough? Does one of us need to stay home? Is it because we aren't your blood parents? I don't… I don't understand, please, help me understand what could possibly make you act out this way."

Edward was the first to speak. "It's nothing you guys did wrong. And I don't care that you're not my blood parents. You love me more than they ever did."

"Then what is it, Edward?" Esme pleaded.

"I don't know. I have no excuse for what I have done. I can't even imagine what she must feel like because of me, and I really don't want to either, because I know I was terrible to her. And I'm sorry I've disappointed you guys." He replied.

"How do I know you're being sincere, Edward?" He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "No, really, how do I know you're not just apologizing because you don't want to get a bigger punishment? How do I know you're not just sorry you got caught? Can any of you honestly say that if nothing had happened, you wouldn't have continued bullying Bella and Eric for the rest of high school?" They sat in silence.

"Do you guys have any idea what bullying does to a person?" Esme cut in. "You saw what happened to that poor Eric kid, but what about Bella? You say you treated her worse, yet she has never told anyone. Your father and I see her at the hospital every month, and she has never let on about you guys treating her this way. What does that say about her strength? And on top of that, she is all alone. She has nobody left, not _one_ person, and you know that. And you _still_ pick on her? Do you have any idea the kind of psychological damage that could do to a person? And to Bella, of all people! What has she ever done to any of you to deserve that?"

A few of them mumbled 'nothing', looking at their laps. There was a long silence before I decided to break it. "I'm crazy to think Bella would ever want to live with us, but I still can't bear to see her forced out of her home. I am sure she will say no if I do ask her again, and if for some reason she says yes, it would only be because she is too kind to say no, but I still have to ask." I was rambling at this point. "Where do you guys stand on her living with us?"

"She's only going to say yes if she's loopy on medication," Emmett mumbled.

I looked to Edward first, as he was seated directly across from me at the foot of the table. "I agree with Emmett. She's never going to say if she's in her right mind. My vote is no, but if she comes to live with us, I will behave."

Next was Emmett. "I vote yes. She saved my brother's life, maybe all of our lives. I plan on letting her know how truly welcome she is if she ever stays with us."

Rosalie took her turn to speak. "I'm with Edward. Yes, I'm thankful she saved our lives, and no I'm not going to bully her anymore, but that doesn't mean I want her living with us. I don't want to be walking on eggshells, because you all know I don't have the patience for that. I'm not going to change the way I act because we have some fragile little girl in the house who is afraid of us."

Esme interrupted her, her anger rising. "If she's 'fragile' it's because of _you_. We're not asking you to be a completely different person, Rose, just treat her the way you treat the rest of the members of this household. If she moves into our home, I won't have her be intimidated into hiding out in her room because of you."

"My answer is still no. You're my parents, and what you say goes, so if for some magical reason she agrees to stay with us, then fine. I'll watch my mouth."

I sighed. I'd have to address Rosalie's behavior head-on, but now was not the time. "Jasper?"

"I don't mind her staying with us. I actually hope she does, so I can show her truly sorry I am."

"And I agree with Jasper," said Alice. "I don't know if we would have stopped if nothing happened, but the point is it _did_ happen. And I _am_ sorry. I hope I can show Bella that."

"Well, majority vote wins. Even though Bella will likely say no, I'll tell her she is welcome in our home, even if it's just for the sake of giving her a peace of mind."

My phone rang, the noise seeming loud as it cut through the room. Esme looked at me questioningly.

"The hospital knows I'm staying home, so I don't know who would be calling me…" I answered the phone, getting up and excusing myself to the living room. "Hello?"

_"Hello, is this Dr. Carlisle Cullen?"_

"Yes it is, may I ask who's speaking?"

_"My name is Catherine Buckett, and I have a pressing matter to discuss."_

* * *

**BPOV**

As it turned out, a social worker was already in Port Angeles dealing with another family issue, so she decided to head to Forks to ' _deal with me_.' I really didn't want to speak to a social worker. I didn't want to be sent someplace else and live with a pedophile, or an alcoholic, or a serial killer… I had gotten quite used to living by myself, what if I was placed in a group home with dozens of other teenagers? What if everyone got tired of me and sent me back, just for me to move around again and again? The nightmarish possibilities were endless. This whole situation sucked. My side was killing me. My head hurt. Everything was ruined.

I pulled myself into a sitting position, blinking away tears as my side angrily protested my movements. There was a speedy rap at the door before it opened without warning and a middle-aged woman walked in. She was about average height, maybe 5'8" or so, and she was terribly skinny. Her greying hair was pulled back in a tight bun, and she wore glasses with thin wireframes that sat low on her face. She also wore an unpleasant expression of aggravation and severity.

"Hello, Ms. Swan. My name is Catherine Buckett, but you will call me Ms. Buckett. I've been assigned as your social worker for the time being, and I'm in a bit of a rush, so if we could make this fast, that would be great." She grabbed the seat by the bed and dragged it farther away before sitting down. Pulling a manila folder from her small briefcase, she pushed her glasses up her nose before speaking again.

"After a quick review of your case, it appears you live alone in a house that was paid off by your father, who died about a year ago, which was preceded by the deaths of your mother and step-father, leaving you with no living relatives, is that correct?" She asked, speaking hurriedly.

Wow, that was blunt. Aren't social workers supposed to be sensitive, or caring? Or least pretend to be?

"Um, yes, that is correct."

"Mmhmm… And due to the fact that you are only sixteen and were not emancipated before the death of your parents, it is now up to the state to find a home for you." She paused, waiting for another nod. "Well, the good news is that on my way over I did an overlook of the town, and there is a foster family here who has already taken in five teenagers, so what's one more? Besides, he'll only have to deal with you for two and a half more years before you are out of high school, and more or less, out of our hands." She looked up. "Do you know this man? A-" she glanced down at her file, "Dr. Carlisle Cullen?"

"Well, yes, he's a doctor here, but-"

"Great, I'll give him a call."

"Well, you see-"

"Excuse me for one moment while I go ask a nurse to call him in. "

"OK, but, the thing is, I-"

"Actually, could you press the button on the bed to call the nurse in for me?"

"Yes, but, as I was saying-"

"I'm sorry, is there something you would like to say?"

_Yes! I've been trying to say something this whole damn meeting, but you won't let me get half a sentence in, let alone a complete thought!_

"Yes. I've already spoken with Dr. Cullen today and-"

"Oh, good! What did he say?"

_Deep breaths…_

"We talked about him fostering me and I just don't think it will work out well. You see-"

"And why is that?" she interrupted yet again, her voice taking a hint of anger. _She_ was getting angry at _me_? All I was trying to do was help save her time and energy.

"Well, ma'am, as I've been trying to say since you mentioned Dr. Cullen-"

"Yes?"

_Deep... Breaths... Do not cuss out the woman who's in charge of your living arrangements._

"His family doesn't like me. At all. The minute they find out there's a chance I'd be living with them, they will have me sent away and you will have to come back and deal with me again. It's a lose-lose situation. And if I'm being honest here, I don't think I want to live with them."

"Well sadly for you, what you 'want' isn't relevant. The state doesn't have the money to take into account individual preferences." She replied without a missing a beat. "There is a home within the same city that is able to take you in without moving you out of town. You won't have to switch schools, you won't have to move your belongings very far, and I can be out of this dreary town within a day or two. It saves time and money, both of which I'm afraid we never have enough of. Your opinion on the matter is insignificant. If you don't like living there, it'll only two and a half years until you graduate. You won't even have to wait until graduation, technically, and can move out when you turn 18 in your senior year."

I was speechless. I had absolutely no say in where I was going to live. That was just… unbelievable. I watched Ms. Buckett as she opened the door and shouted for a nurse. What a fucking wench. _Name-calling, real mature, Bella._ Charlie always told me to give people the benefit of the doubt, whether I got it or not. Maybe she found out she was getting a divorce, or her dog was in the hospital and she needed to rush home.

_Or maybe she just hated teenagers with a deep and burning passion…_

I grabbed the remote to put my bed into a more comfortable position and readjusted my pillows as the teenage-hating social worker left the room, dialing hurriedly on her phone. Maybe if I fell asleep she would leave me alone. Or I'd wake up and find it was just a dream. Eric _didn't_ bring a gun to school, and I _didn't_ tackle him, and I _wasn't_ in the hospital with some mean old hag deciding the next two years of my life. And I _wasn't_ going to live with the Cullens. But the fire in my side proved to me that this was in fact real, and I really was getting sent to live with Lucifer's Angels.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, pressing the call button on the remote. Nurse Andrew popped his head in the door, smiling and asking me what I needed. "Sorry to bother you, but-"

"Oh, it's no bother." He assured quickly.I think my head might explode if one more person interrupted me today.

"Thanks. I was wondering if you could hand me my backpack. I'm sure it's here somewhere…"

"Of course, it's at the nurse's station, I'll go get it." He smiled again, and his head disappeared.

Within seconds he was back and placed the backpack on the side table closest to me. I whispered a polite ' _thank you_ ,' watching his figure retreat as I was left alone yet again. I grabbed my iPod from the small zipper in my bag and pushed the buds in my ear. Maybe some music would help me escape this nightmare for a while.

Unfortunately, someone somewhere really hates me, because Ms. Buckett walked back in before I'd even finished one song. "Ugh, take those God-awful things out of your ears, we have important matters to discuss. Kids these days." She scowled.

I quickly pulled my headphones out, muttering a half-hearted apology.

"I spoke with Dr. Cullen briefly, and he said he would love to have you live with him. He also expressed that if you didn't want to live there, then you shouldn't have to, but as I said, we simply don't have the luxury of being concerned with personal preferences."

_Maybe she's getting an awful divorce. That's why she's so miserable_ …

"Now, I also spoke with that nurse fellow that just left your room, and he said you should be leaving the hospital soon. As there really isn't any more need for me to be here, I'm leaving this dreary town."

_Her dog must have died. Maybe he was put into a wood chipper in front of her._

"You'll need to call Dr. Cullen to get his address and things like that, I'm guessing."

"What about my stuff? You know, my clothes and 'things like that?'"

She sighed in annoyance. "Yes, I guess you would need those things. Well, you'll have to find someone to help you with that. If you have any moving expenses, the Cullens will take care of it."

_Maybe she was void of all human contact until the age of 18, and nobody ever gave her a hug, and her life mission is to make other people feel the way she did..._

"But what's going to happen to my dad's house?"

"You can keep it in your name since it's been paid for, and once you turn 18 you can move back." Finally, _one_ good thing to come from her frowning mouth today.

"Well, I must be leaving. Goodbye, Ms. Swan. Have a nice life." And with that, she was out the door and out of my life. It's funny how one person, who you'll know all of 20 minutes, can change your life so drastically. Not to mention test your patience...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read. I've gotten some comments saying this is unlikely, but the fact is that the foster system in America is so underfunded and underserved, that the children placed in it often have little to no say in what happens to them. Let me know what you think!


	6. Emmett's Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon hearing the news that Bella will be placed with the Cullens, Carlisle and Esme make a visit to the hospital with one of their children in tow.

"Let no man pull you so low as to hate him." - Martin Luther King Jr.

“Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

**EsmePOV**

"Who was that?" I asked as Carlisle hung up the phone and made his way back towards the table.

"That was Bella's social worker. She took notice that we were - well, I guess still technically _are_ \- foster parents. Since we live in the same town as Bella, it makes it easy for her to wrap up Bella's case. She said it would take some time to send us the paperwork, but Bella can come as soon as she's released from the hospital. I have to say, she was rather snippy about the whole thing."

This was fabulous news! Bella would be moving in with us. We could give her the love she's been deprived of for so long. I'd have another daughter. This felt… right.

Rosalie spoke up. "Can I go to my room?"

"Yes," Carlisle answered. "Actually, you all can go to your room."

Silently, the room emptied. Grabbing his hand, I turned to Carlisle. "How do you feel about this?"

"Honestly, Esme, I'm not sure. I'm elated Bella will get to live with us… But I just… I don't know. Ms. Buckett, Bella's social worker, didn't say anything about how Bella felt about the decision. In fact, she made it seem to me as if Bella didn't even have a say."

"Is that even allowed? I mean… if she really doesn't want to live here, what other options does she have?"

Carlisle sighed. "She could fight it... ask to be placed in another home. Judging by the conversation I had with Ms. Buckett, it doesn't sound like she'd be of any help. It would add loads of stress to Bella. She could move all the way across the country, have to worry about a new school, family, town. She could be dragged into court for legal matters regarding the house. She could potentially be tricked into selling it, and then she'll have lost everything. She'd have no place to go after she graduated. I just don't want her to have to go through all that."

I paused momentarily. "What do you think is worse? That… or living in the same house as the people who tormented her?"

"I guess that's something we'll have to discuss with Bella." He replied.

"Can we go see her? I never thanked her for what she did." There was a sudden urgency in me to see the girl who saved my children's lives.

"Ok. I wanted to see if I could discharge her this morning but she sent me home before I got around to it. She seems like she's healing rather quickly."

"Can I go?" said a voice from behind. It was Emmett.

"Emmett, you're supposed to be in your room," responded Carlisle.

"I know… but I had a feeling you guys were going to see Bella, and I really want to go with you."

"Emmett-" Carlisle started.

"-I'm not so sure that would work out so well." I interrupted.

"I don't have to see her if she doesn't want me to. I can wait outside the room and you can ask. If she says no, I'll go out to the car!" he was pleading at this point.

"Emmett-"Carlisle began again.

"-I guess that would be fine." I finished for him.

Carlisle looked at me a little exasperated.

"It'll be fine, honey. It's completely up to Bella. She can handle it. She's strong." I could see the uncertainty in his eyes, along with that hint of anger he hadn't quite erased. Grabbing his hand, I raised my eyebrows in question.

"Fine. Let's go." Without another word, he was walking towards the door.

* * *

**BPOV**

It had been a short time since Ms. Buckett left the room and left me with a sour taste in my mouth. Trying to get comfortable was impossible since every movement I made sent flames up my side. It seemed like only five minutes ago the pain meds were doing their magic and lulling me to sleep. Now it was as if there was nothing in my system. My iPod had died shortly after I turned it on, and I had nothing to charge it with. I was left twiddling my thumbs and avoiding thinking about what was to come.

If the rest of my time spent in the hospital went like this, I was going to go stir crazy.

Playing with the bed adjustments sounded like an entertaining way to get comfortable, so I reached towards the remote that was on the bedside table. My reach was short. With a sigh, I extended my arm as far as I could, trying not to move the rest of my body. Still short. With a little push, I twisted my body over a little hoping my attempts would be successful and relatively pain-free.

I was wrong.

Pain shot up my side, making each breath I took excruciating. This whole 'I got shot' thing was already getting old. Ever so slowly, I leaned back into my earlier seated position, deciding it would be best not to move. Being comfortable was over-rated, anyway…

There was a quick but calm knock at my door. Carlisle.

"Back already? You just can't leave this place, can you?" I teased, a smile lacing my face.

With a short laugh, he replied "I figured I'd come and break you out of jail." It was music to my ears.

Esme slipped in behind him, a worried smile on her face. "Hello, Bella," she whispered.

"Hello, Esme. It's so good to see you." It'd been a while since I had seen the lovely Mrs. Cullen. And I didn't like the sadness in her eyes one bit.

"It's good to see you too, dear." There was a slight pause, but I waited. She had more to say, I could see it in the way she was pursing her lips. "Thank you. You saved my kids' lives. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't taken action. For all I know, I could be arranging a funeral right now if it wasn't for you. Thank you, Bella." Her eyes were starting to water.

"I'm fine, Esme, honestly. So what are a few stitches, I've had dozens of 'em." I smiled, trying to lighten the situation. Seeing Esme Cullen upset was not something enjoyed.

"Don't downplay this, Isabella. You're a hero." _Oh, God..._

"Stop being cheesy. I don't like cheese." The corners of her lips started to rise.

"I'm a mama bear, and you protected my cubs. What do you expect?" A full-blown smile now graced her face.

"I couldn't help it," I answered. "The Charlie in me rose up, and I just had to save the day."

Both Carlisle and Esme's eyes saddened, but there was a genuine smile as well.

"He'd be proud of you, Bella," Carlisle answered. "You know it." There was a moment of silence as I felt love and respect for my father. Carlisle spoke up again. "Bella… there's someone here who wants to see you. It's completely up to you, if you say no we'll just send him to the car."

If it was Edward Cullen, I think I would explode. What would I say? What would _he_ say? How would I feel? Would he try to thank me? _Good heavens, I'm not ready for that._

"It's Emmett." Esme solved my inner turmoil for me.

"Oh. Ok. Sure. Send him in." Emmett, I could handle.

Carlisle opened the door and in walked Emmett. His face was a book of emotions. I'd never seen him so vulnerable. "Hi." he whispered.

"…hi." And so began the awkwardness.

"Do you mind if we talk in private? If not, I understand, I just…" his voice trailed off into silence.

"Sure." I didn't have to finish before Carlisle and Esme nodded, and the two exited the room.

The silence grew, and I could tell from his face that Emmett was desperately searching for what to say. He took a seat by the end of my bed.

"Bella, I… don't know what to say, so please be patient for a second… I don't imagine that'll be too hard for you, you've been incredibly patient with my family and me up until now…" Again he trailed off into silence. I let him gather his thoughts. "Thank you, for starters. Thank you for being courageous, and for stepping up when you saw danger. Thank you for putting yourself at risk for the safety of others. For protecting my brothers, my baby sister… my Rosie…" his voice tightened. _Please don't start crying…_ "Thank you for protecting them when I couldn't." He was nearly in tears. I hate when people cry.

He started sobbing. Leaning his head on the end of the bed, he gently grabbed placed his hands on my feet. This was getting weird. "I'm so sorry Bella. So so sorry… I can't even begin to tell you how awful I feel, I can't believe I was such a dick to you. You are the least deserving person of all the shit we've put you through, and there isn't any way for me to make up for it. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, please know that." The crying subsided and his voice took on a hint of urgency.

"I don't know what to say, Emmett." _Except for 'please don't touch me…'_

"I know. I'm sorry. It's ok. I understand if you can't forgive me, I do. I'm sorry." The babbling had begun.

"Emmett. I forgive you."

His head shot up from the bed, bewilderment evident on his face. "You… what?"

"I forgive you, Emmett."

"But… why?" He didn't understand. I'm not sure if I did, but I tried my best to articulate it.

"Holding onto anger won't do me any good. It's just going to make me an angry person. I've learned growing up that not forgiving others and holding grudges only hurts me in the long run. They move on with their life and forget about me while I'm stuck in the past, angry and upset. I'm not going to let anger poison my life."

He hesitated. "But how can you just forget all the horrible things I've said to you?"

"Oh, no. I didn't say I'd forget. I've learned to forgive, but it will be a long, long time before I can forget anything that you and your family have put me through. I'm just giving us both the opportunity to move forward by letting go of the negative feelings that can make me bitter."

He nodded. "I understand, Bella." And I think he did.

He leaned back in his chair with a sigh, letting go of my feet thankfully. Placing his hand on his forehead, he rubbed his temples. He reminded me of Carlisle at that moment. It was weird to see this connection between one of the people I admired most and one of the people I saw in such a negative light. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head up to the ceiling. If he hadn't just spoken to me, I would have thought he was asleep. This gave me time to think.

Seeing Emmett in a controlled environment was strange. He was different. Unlike when he was at school, he wasn't wearing a mask. I could read his face, see what he was feeling. He was upset, anyone could tell you that. He was also embarrassed... ashamed... guilty. There was a hint of self-hatred I could have detected from a mile away. I had seen that look many times before in the mirror. I knew he was a total dick to me, but he didn't deserve to have those negative feelings any more than I did. The phrase ' _I wouldn't wish that onto my worst enemy_ ' came to mind, and it was true. No one should hate themselves.

"Emmett." I waited for him to look up. After a short bit, he did. "What are you thinking?" Without a word, he shook his head a little. "Please?"

He sighed and looked up at me. The pain in his eyes grew. "I feel like such a shitty person, Bella," he whispered. "I wish I was the one in that bed. I deserve to be the one in pain. Not you." He lowered his gaze, looking away.

"Emmett..." I struggled to put my thoughts into words. "I'm not going to tell you everything is ok because it's not. You did, and said, a lot of shitty things. But that doesn't make you a shitty person."

"Yes, it does," he whispered.

"It doesn't. If everyone who fucked up when they were younger just labeled themselves a bad person for the rest of time, the world would be miserable. People deserve the chance to grow and be better. You can't hate yourself forever. Then you've just moved from bullying me to bullying yourself. It's just not right. It'll change you... and not in a good way."

Neither of us spoke for a while. He was the first to break the silence. "Thank you for talking to me Bella. If you do come live with us, I'm going to do everything I can to prove to you that I'm not who you thought I was. To be better" With that, he left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Some are gonna give me flack for Bella being so quick to forgive, but have a little faith. Bella has emotional maturity, but she's not going to remain a doormat. Next chapter you'll get some back story as to why Esme and Carlisle already have a relationship with Bella. Please continue to read and let me know what you think!


	7. Leaving the Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella leaves the hospital and heads into the Lion's Den.

"Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone's life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance." - Roy T. Bennett

"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times." - Paulo Coelho

**BPOV**

About five minutes had passed before Carlisle had slipped back in, Esme trailing behind.

"Everything ok? I don't have to go brawl with Emmett about anything, do I? Because I hate to say it, but I think he'd win." His joking mood didn't hide the concern in his eyes.

"Nothing to worry about, Doc." A few seconds of silence passed; I didn't let it grow into an awkward state. "So, what's the plan, Carlisle? Are you gonna bust me outta here or what?"

He let out a small chuckle before shaking his head. "I hate to be the bad guy, but I think it's best if you stay here for another night. You suffered from some internal bleeding, went under for surgery... that's some pretty serious stuff, kid."

I had a love-hate relationship with this place. About once a month I came here to visit the few children that were stuck here, in a way to give me more of an appreciation for my life. Esme was also a frequent visitor, and we always had lunch together when our visits lined up. She had told me once that she lost a child before she met Carlisle, and seeing the kids here helped her heal. I understood what she meant the more time I spent with them. As hard as it got, as miserable as I felt, it was nothing compared to wondering if I'd wake up or not, or spending every day hooked up to machines or in pain. Some of these kids had to watch their parents slowly die in front of them. As hard as it was to have lost both my parents, both instances were quick, instant. There was no suffering, I didn't have to watch and wait for it to happen.

On the other hand, _it was a hospital._ The smell, the uncomfortable beds, the so-called 'gowns' that conveniently covered nothing important... I hated them. And worst of all was the damn _needles_. They were everywhere. They had drawers just filled with them. Just the thought was enough to make me cringe.

Carlisle interrupted my musings. "I know it's not pleasant, but you can go down to the first floor, hang around a bit if you're up for it. A little birdy told me the kids miss you."

I sighed. "We'll see. I'm not giving up without a fight. I'm sure you can get me out of here with a little bit of sweet-talking."

He smiled briefly, then his face turned serious. _Uh oh..._ "Bella, there are a few things we'd like to talk about if you're ready." He paused for a moment, waiting for me to nod. "I spoke with Ms. Buckett."

_Maybe I should have prepared myself for this conversation instead of avoiding thinking about it_. "She's lovely, isn't she? I think I've figured her out."

"Oh, really? What's your theory? I thought she might be the Grinch's daughter or something." Carlisle teased, happy to lighten the mood.

"No, no, you see… she's a vampire."

"A vampire?" Esme exclaimed, laughter behind her words.

"Yep. A vampire. She's as cold as ice, has no emotion behind her eyes, clearly has no heart. She was in such a rush to leave here, it must've been all the blood. It was too much for her to handle, she got all angsty."

The two of them were full out laughing now. Thank God, the super-serious mood was starting to get to me.

"Well," Carlisle began, "Ms. Vampire informed me you'll be going home with us once you are released. Was that your decision?"

What could I say? If I told them no, they could go and do something about it. I could be sent away to who knows where, to live with who knows what. A whole new town, a whole new school. What if it was the same there as it is here? I've already learned to deal with the monsters here, who knows how long it would take to readjust? And not to mention the house… if I ever lost the house, I don't think I could take it. It was Charlie's. It's everything he ever worked for. He left it for me.

I realized Carlisle was waiting for an answer. "Yes."

"It was?" He seemed rightfully shocked.

"Yes. I don't want to move and start all over again. This is my town, this is my life." I could see the disappointment start to creep into Esme's face. Anything other than pure joy did not suit her well. I was quick to correct it. "Plus, you two care for me. I know you'd do everything you could for me."

She smiled. "Of course we would, dear. Actually, that's the other thing we were wanting to talk about. You'd keep your house, of course, it'd stay in your name. Once you turn 18 or after you graduated, you could move back there. Once you're feeling up to it, we'll take you to pack up whatever you need from your house - your clothes, knick-knacks for your room, sentimental things… We'll pack up whatever you want. The furniture and everything can stay there until you return. Until then, we have a room already set up. It was a guest room, so it's already got all the furniture you could need, but it's yours now, so you can do whatever you'd like to it. We could go to Port Angeles, pick up some paint and redecorate. We can redo the whole room if you don't like it-"

"Esme." Carlisle interrupted with a very loving, amused face.

"Sorry," she said with a sheepish smile. "I just… well this is going to be your home now, and I know it won't be easy. I want to make it as stress-free for you as possible, after all the trouble you've been through." That look was in her eyes again. Pity, sadness. I couldn't stand it.

"Esme, I'm sure it's lovely. You're an excellent interior decorator." The corners of her mouth started to curve upwards. "How about this. How about the doc here makes his case to release me into the wild a day early? We can look over the room tonight and see what I have to work with. I'm sure I'll love it just as is."

"You wouldn't say anything if you didn't." She raised an eyebrow. I opened my mouth to contradict, but she continued. "I don't want it to be a nice room or a pretty room; I want it to be _your_ room."

"What you want is a project" I teased. This time she opened her mouth and I cut _her_ off. "Which is perfectly fine by me. It'll give me something to stay busy with." I was rewarded with a genuine smile. "So what do you say, Carlisle? I mean, I'd be going home with the best doctor in the state of Washington." He smiled but didn't look convinced. "I'll spend all night in bed and rest easy tomorrow?" He cocked an eyebrow. "...and the next day?" I was winning him over, I knew it. "Tons of surgical patients leave a few hours after their surgery, I've had nearly 24 hours."

He looked over to his wife for assistance, but Esme didn't help. "She has a point, dear. You are the best damn doctor here."

"You've betrayed me and taken her side? _And_ you think you can win me over with flattery? Am I that shallow?" His words had no bite to them. He couldn't be angry at her if he tried. Looking between the two of us once more, he chuckled and threw in the reins. "Ok, ok, I give in. You win." _Victory_. "It's around 11, so I'm keeping you prisoner until 3 to get as many fluids in as possible." He gave me a pointed look, trying very hard to look stern.

"Yes, Doctor. Thank you, Doctor."

With a chuckle and a roll of the eyes, he walked out of the room, my partner in crime winking and following him out.

* * *

It was nearing 2:00 pm. Sure enough, with his natural charisma, no one could argue that my early release wasn't best for me. There was a knock on my door.

"Bella?" Esme stuck her head in. "I figured I'd bring you these." In her hands, she held a pair of clothes. She must have noticed the puzzled look on my face because she was quick to explain herself. "You didn't have any clothes in your bag, and the ones you were wearing were… no longer suitable. I guessed your size and picked these up from the closest store. I didn't think you wanted to wear…" she paused, looking me up and down in my hospital gown. "… _that_."

"You're too sweet. You didn't have to…"

"Well, no… If you'd like, I could go get a pair of scrubs. I'm fairly certain Carlisle has a purple pair you could-"

"Not necessary!" I cut her off. "Thank you, I appreciate it." A chuckle escaped my lips. I'll admit, I didn't want to walk around looking like a hospital patient _or_ like a nurse.

She smiled. "I'll just set these here and leave you to it." She walked gracefully out the door, leaving me to change.

The nurse had unhooked me a few minutes prior, so I was free from my chains. He was an odd one; he would not stop rambling and talked so quickly it was hard to keep up. I picked up the clothes and moved to the bathroom. I was a mess. My hair was in desperate need of a comb, I had very dark circles under my eyes, and I was a good two shades paler than usual. _Didn't think that was possible._ Pulling the string of my gown, it fell to the floor. My reflection was gruesome. A bandage covered the stitches in my side, but that was nothing compared to the impressively dark black and purple bruise covering the lower part of my left ribs and the upper parts of my stomach. The area surrounding the bruise was an angry red; its contrast to my skin was sickly. Though I had only been in the hospital a little over a day, I looked like I had lost weight. I had always considered myself on the skinny side, but this was too much. I wasn't interested in losing any more weight. Overall, my reflection was unpleasant.

I turned from my reflection and began to redress. Among the pile was a pair of black leggings, a dark blue, long-sleeved top, a gray jacket, and a pair of simple blue undergarments. Tags still intact, everything was conveniently my size.

_She bought me underwear… how mortifying._

Taking extra time and care, I dressed and left the bathroom. Zipping my jacket, I grabbed my vans from my bag and slipped them on. I surveyed the room.

_What, are you looking for cards or flowers to bring with you?_

With a small shake of my head, I slung my backpack over my good side and left the room. A quick left, down a flight of stairs, two rights, and I was there without even thinking.

* * *

The Children's Unit. The only section of the hospital I enjoyed.

Nurse Kristina smiled at me from the reception desk as I walked through the doors. "Bella! I didn't think I'd see you so soon, you just here a week or two ago! How have you been?" Cheerful as always, her eyes lit up. If there was one person perfect for the children's department, it was Kristina; the children _loved_ her.

"I'm doing just fine, Kristina. How's the family?"

"Wonderful as always. You take care of yourself, Bella. Make sure you rest!" There it was. Living in a small town meant everyone knew everything. I gave her a polite smile and walked towards the day room. She continued talking as I passed. "And don't pick anyone up, you'll hurt yourself. Hugs only." Sweet as she may be, Kristina had a much-needed stern side to keep her patients in check.

"Yes, Kristina. I'll behave." As I walked into the play area, I was rewarded with four darling smiles and a few cries of my name. The frustration, stress, fear, anxiety, or _whatever_ I was feeling all melted away.

"Hey you guys!" the smile on my face was of pure joy. "What's up? How have you been?"

Emma was the first up, running towards me and wrapping her arms around my legs. Suffering from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, this 6-year-old was filled with more life than you'd ever imagine. She was diagnosed a year and a half ago and was currently in the remission phase of chemotherapy. She was my oldest friend here time-wise, as she's been a patient the longest.

"How's my little soldier doing?" I bent down to her level and sat on my knees.

She looked up at me with light in her eyes. "Fantastic. We're reading Matilda!"

"What a wonderful choice! Matilda was my favorite book when I was your age." I was cut off by a shrill voice.

"Bella! _Ohmygoodness_ guess what!" Kenna practically screamed, racing over to me.

" _What?_ " I encouraged her.

"I'm going home!"

Kenna was in a terrible house fire and suffered from severe 2nd and 3rd degree burns over her right arm, chest, and neck. For the last 7 weeks, she'd been in recovery.

"No way! That's so awesome! Does that mean he's leaving us too?" I waved at Cody. He and Kenna were neighbors. Every single day he came to visit her after school. He was born deaf but was a perfectly healthy kid (aside from a skinned knee every now and again). The two of them communicated in sign language together and have taught me the basics. For only being 8 and 9 years old, they were excellent teachers.

"Nooo, we'll come back to visit! Who else will help Emma read?"

"Hey, I don't need help!" Emma replied. "I can do it by myself…." She mumbled.

A low chuckle came from the last boy, Jordan. The 14-year-old boy's father was in a coma from a car accident. Over the past 4 months, his mother came to see him every other day. Most days it was too much for Jordan to handle, and he came down to hang out with the youngsters to distract himself.

"Hi Bells." He said, hugging me quickly.

"Hey, Jordan. How are you? How's school?"

His response was an indifferent shrug. "Hey, you guys should finish the chapter, something good is about to happen!" He suggested to the other kids. They ran back to the reading corner and continued.

"What's up?" I asked, standing up to match his height which was annoyingly the same as mine. _He wants to talk to me alone… weird_.

"I heard you got shot." He raised his eyebrows, looking grimmer than usual, which was a feat.

"I-uhh…" I stammered for a bit, not expecting his question. "Yeah, I did. It wasn't some big scene from an action movie or anything, though. Someone very sick was about to do something very, very bad, and I tried to stop to it."

There was a pause while he stared at me. "You're ok, though, right?" He looked genuinely upset.

"Of course I'm ok, crazy. It'll take more than a bullet to take me down." The corners of his mouth curved upwards. "Dude, I'm alright. I promise. Look." I slowly turned in a circle, raised my hands above my head, and lowered them back down. "See?"

"Ok, ok. Just making sure you're alright. What kind of prince would I be if I didn't look out for you?"

" _Jeez_. Ok, cheeseball." I rolled my eyes. We shared a laugh and chatted about school for a while. He was struggling with English class, but really enjoying science and math. "You just gotta read more."

"You _always_ say that, no matter what we're talking about." He rolled his eyes again. He wasn't wrong.

We look up as the door opened once more. It was Esme who walked in. I looked at my watch. "I know, I'm early. I knew I'd find you here, and figured I'd see if you wanted to head out early. I'm sure you're tired and ready for a shower."

"You don't have to ask me twice!" I walked towards the reading corner with my arm looped through Jordan's. The rest of the kids gathered around and we hugged, saying our goodbyes. They then jumped onto Esme for a round of hello/goodbye as well. "I'll be back in a few weeks, I promise." As we exited the room, I turned to Esme. "Thank you."

"Of course, dear. Carlisle and Emmett are downstairs in the car. Do you want us to stop anywhere before we go home? The store, your house, McDonald's…"

"No, there's no need. I'll save that for another day. Besides, I promised Carlisle I'd rest."

"You did." She smiled. "Let's get you home, and fed, and back into bed!"

We were downstairs in a minute, out the doors and in the rain in two. I sought safety from the pelts in the warm car. Emmett was sitting directly beside me, his parents in the front. "You ready to see our house?" His cheeks dimpled, taking away any intimidation it usually held.

No. I was so not ready to go into the Lion's Den.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! As I said, hopefully this chapter explained a bit of Bella's personal life and why she has a relationship with Esme and Carlisle. Bella visits about once every month, which is when she sees Carlisle/Esme, so you might see these characters once again in the future. Please let me know what you think!


	8. Into the Lion's Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella enters the Cullen house for the first time and has a heart-to-heart with Esme.

"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." - Nora Ephron

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." - E.E. Cummings

**BPOV**

The drive passed quickly, and before I knew it an enormous house came into view. I craned my neck to see as much as I could before we pulled into the garage. Momentarily stunned, I shook my head. _Why am I surprised, this family is rich beyond my imagination._ Taking a slow breath, I took a moment to calm my nerves before exiting the car. Reaching for the handle, the door swung open before I grasped it.

Emmett stood there with a sheepish smile. "Would you believe me if I told you the men in this house always hold the door open for the women?" Before I even opened my mouth, he answered for me. "Probably not."

I mumbled a 'thank you' and slid out of my seat. Esme led the way into the house and through a wide hallway until we reached an opening to the left. We stood in a sizeable kitchen, completely equipped with the most modern kitchen appliances. Not being one to spend much time in the kitchen, this made even _me_ want to bake. The rest of the downstairs was completely open, and from where I stood I could see a vast living room straight ahead, part of a dining room to the right, and a piano in the far left corner. It was stunning, spacious, and clean. It looked like it came straight from a catalog - too pretty to touch.

Before I could speak, Esme opened her mouth. "This is the kitchen, obviously. Everything's stocked, and everything's up for grabs. Dinner is around 6 most days, so let me know if you want me to make you a snack or something to tie you over until then. Or you can just rummage through the fridge and pantry for anything you like. But I'm sure you want to get settled into your room first."

A sigh escaped my lips. "You have no idea how right you are." I smiled. Returning the way we came from, she continued down the hall. We passed the dining room to our left and were met with a set of stairs. Emmett stopped at the second floor, mumbling a 'see ya later' while Esme, Carlisle, and I continued on to the third. There was a set of doors straight to the right of us and two farther down to the left. Esme gripped the handle closest to us and turned to me with a nervous smile.

"This is your room, Bella." She opened the door. "I hope you feel comfortable and welcome here."

My eyebrows shot up at the site. The entire back wall was a massive window with a bench running along the bottom of it. The walls were a deep blue and the ceiling was gray to match the carpet. The furniture was beautiful mahogany, consisting of a queen bed, a dresser, two bedside tables, a small bookshelf in the far right corner, and a small desk to the shelf's right. A beautiful gold and blue patterned blanket covered the bed, which matched the nearly dozen different sized pillows. There was an open door to the right that led to a full bathroom. Another was to the right, which I assumed was the closet.

It was more extravagant than I was used to. I turned to Esme, about to voice my opinions.

Of course, she knew where I was going. "Don't."

"Don't what?" I challenged.

"Don't say it's too much. Like I said, we already had the room set up, it was hardly any effort on my part. A quick change of the sheets, stocking the bathroom, and it was done."

I smiled. "I was simply going to tell you it's beautiful. That's all."

"Mhmm." She didn't sound convinced, but she had a smile on her face. "That is a private bathroom, you don't share it with anyone. The shower is stocked and there are clean towels. I'm sure you want to wash that hospital feeling away. We'll be downstairs when you're settled in, come find us and we'll talk."

"Thank you, guys. Seriously. Thank you for taking me into your home." I meant it. Even if I wasn't sure I wanted to be here, the fact they took me in so easily was something to be grateful for.

Carlisle, who had remained silent until this point, spoke up. "We should have done it a long time ago," Carlisle replied with a sad smile on his face. With that, the two turned and retreated back downstairs.

Closing the door, I turned to take in the room with a little more detail. Approaching the back wall, I looked out the window. I could see the edge of the forest as it disappeared into blackness. It grew as I moved closer; once I could see the entire yard, I was shocked. They had a small porch with a swinging chair, which ended with a garden that somehow was alive despite the frigid weather. I tried to imagine myself sitting there reading a book on the rare occasion the weather cleared up. Between the garden and the tree line, there was a pool to the right. A _pool._ In _Forks._

_Of course they have a pool. The thing is probably heated right this very moment._

I set my backpack on the bed. Making my way into the bathroom, I shut the door. A nice hot shower sounded like Heaven. A hot bath sounded even better. The painkillers were starting to wear off and I could definitely feel it. Keeping the bandages dry in the bath was possible, in a shower not so much. Once the bathroom door was locked, I turned on the water and began filling up the tub. I undressed, taking care with my movements. Blue towels were hung on the wall and toiletries were displayed on the sink counter; shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash, body scrubs, washcloths, bath salts, bath oils, candles, everything you could possibly want in a bathroom was here. It was entirely too much, which was entirely _Esme._

I lowered myself into the water, letting the water run until it met just below my ribs. As I began to lather up, my mind began to wander. I could no longer put off thinking about what was going to happen if I moved into the Cullen household. I was bathing in it, for Christ's sake. The voice in the back of my head began to question my sanity.

_What the hell is wrong with me? I clearly must have some sort of mental defect to have come here. Nothing about this could possibly end well. Why didn't you fight harder?_

While coming here was not something I would have chosen myself, I didn't see a way out. The unknown _petrified_ me. I'd rather stay here and drown in the misery I'd learned to swallow than move someplace new and face new difficulties that I had no idea how to cope with. I had to stay here. I couldn't lose the house. I couldn't leave the place where Charlie's memory was alive. I needed to keep the kids at the hospital company. Change is not good, change is not easy. Change sucks.

_Those are just excuses. They're shitty and you know it_.

A sigh passed my lips, and I rubbed the exhaustion from my eyes. I tried to wash my hair without submerging myself into the water completely, which was much harder to do than I'd expected. Once I managed as best as I could, I shifted until I found a comfortable position that allowed me to lean back against the tub while keeping my wound above water. Carlisle told me to refrain from soaking or swimming for the next few weeks. I didn't understand why he thought I'd be swimming in Forks, but now I did. Closing my eyes, I relaxed as best I could and thought about what my plan was moving forward.

The bedroom was large enough that I could spend all day reading and studying up here without feeling claustrophobic. I could also start spending more time at the hospital, maybe rekindle some old friendships. As long as I had my car, I had an escape. And I could always go home, to _my_ house, and spend time there. I was going to be fine. No, I was going to be better than fine. I was going to be great.

I was stretching out my time in the bath as long as I could, but the water had lost its heat. I slowly lifted myself from the tub and wrapped myself in a towel. As I returned to the bedroom, I noticed a bag just inside the door that wasn't there before. My interest peaked, I opened the bag. Three pairs of pants, seven long sleeve shirts, a jacket, and a sweater occupied the bag, along with various conservative undergarments. If Esme had bought me fancy lacy things from Victoria's Secret, I would never be able to speak to her again without blushing. Everything was simple and stylish, and all my size. I dressed in a tank top, a button-up flannel, and zip-up jacket; Carlisle would need to replace my bandages, as I was unsuccessful in keeping them dry. This made it a bit easier for him to work on it without having to strip down. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, it was around 4:30.

With a few deep breaths to steady myself, I moved towards the door. It would be smart to talk with Carlisle and Esme before dinner so I had some time before I saw the rest of the family. No longer feeling the desire to procrastinate, I turned the handle. The hallway was empty, so I made my way down the two flights of stairs. All the while I passed no one. Esme was in the living room, flipping through a home improvement magazine. At the sound of my approach, she looked up; once she saw it was me she smiled, patting the seat beside her.

"Feel a little better?" She asked.

"Much better." I smiled back, genuinely. And I did.

"Carlisle is in his office getting some paperwork done since he left work early. As for the rest of them, they'll be in their rooms until dinnertime." I nodded and she continued. "If I'm being honest here, I don't know how this is going to play out. I'll just tell you how things usually go around here. We have dinner as a family almost every night, as I mentioned earlier we usually aim for six. Once a week, Carlisle and I go on a date night and leave the kids to fend for themselves. I would like for you to attend dinner with us, but if you don't feel up to it, I don't blame you. You can just eat in the kitchen, or…" she trailed off.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I doubt they're going to make a scene in front of you." I appeased her.

She smiled. "That would be lovely. The kids have been grounded, and I imagine they'll give you some space for a few days while you adjust." _I doubt that._ "They aren't to leave the house, but you are free to come and go as you please, of course. They're also not to play any video games or watch tv or movies. Again, you are free to do whatever you would like. I'll show you Carlisle's office which doubles as the library. It's full of books Carlisle's family has collected over the years; it's grand. The tv remotes are under the tv, and the cabinets on both sides of the tv are filled with movies. You can record whatever you'd like from live tv. We also have Hulu, Netflix, and HBO. If there are any other services you'd like us to get, just let me know and we'll set up an account. It might seem like overkill, but when you've got seven people living under one roof, you want there to be plenty of entertainment for everybody."

I chuckled. "Thank you, Esme. I doubt I'll ever be bored."

A few moments of silence passed as she stared at me. "How have you been Bella?" I gave her a confused look. "I mean, other than the huge factor I've been negligent to see, how have you been?"

I didn't know what to say, but I figured I'd give it a try. "Honestly, I don't even know anymore. I'm just...tired. I'm so tired. I'm tired of school. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of being lonely. I want to just… leave and get away and restart as someone else, but… I can't. I can't leave Forks, this is my home. This is all that Charlie worked for his whole life; he left me a house and a car that are both paid for. A house that's filled with memories of us before he died..." I trailed off, wondering where I was going with this conversation.

"I've been in a place very similar to yours, Bella." Esme stated. "We've spoken about it very briefly, but I was married once before I met Carlisle. We had a child together, a beautiful baby boy." Her face saddened. "As soon as I had him and was no longer pregnant, my husband became very abusive. At six months, my baby boy passed away, and things got even worse," she teared up. After a few settling breaths, she composed herself and continued. "Neither of us could cope. I fell into a very deep depression, he drowned himself in alcohol, and the abuse got worse. I ended up in such a downward spiral I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I was permanently stuck in this horrible life I would never escape from; like the ground could just swallow me whole and no one would notice. I'd just blink out of existence. I felt invisible to the world."

It grew quiet for a while. "What happened? I mean, how did you move on and become the woman you are now?"

"I figured out what I wanted and started from there. I knew I didn't want to be in that relationship anymore, and that I wanted to be independent and create a life for myself. So I ran away. I got him to sign the divorce papers one night when he was drunk, took half our money from the accounts, and moved across the country. I found a job and then started looking for something that brought me joy, which was interior design. I met Carlisle about a year later, and... everything worked its way out." When I didn't say anything, she continued. "I know you don't want to leave Forks or leave Charlie's memory behind, but you have a few years to figure that out. I found ways to keep my son's memory with me while escaping the circumstances I didn't want to live in anymore. Who knows, maybe your circumstances will change over the next few years. I hope they do, at least. But you should think about it over the course of time. Think about what Charlie would want for you - did he really want you to be tied to Forks forever? And more importantly, think about what you want for yourself. I've grown to love this town, but there's a whole world out there for you to find your place."

We sat there in a pleasant silence after the conversation ended. I was shocked. I never would have imagined this strong, independent woman in front of me had faced such hardship in her past. Somehow, knowing that she went from a life like that to one of self-security, strength, and happiness… it gave me a small bit of peace. I sat and reflected on her words while she returned to her magazine. _A whole world out there for you to find your place._

I knew how I would spend my years in the Cullen house. I'd spend it figuring out who I wanted to be and how to become that person. I didn't have to figure it all out right away, but there were a few things that immediately came to mind. I wanted to be stronger; no more being a doormat for people to walk on. I wanted to be more social, and allow myself to build relationships with people around me. I wanted to be honest, too. Honesty was always so important to Charlie, and while I liked to believe I was an honest person, I held too much back and stayed silent in order to make others comfortable or to stay small. That was going to change. I said I was tired of the way things were. Well, it was up to me to change it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I wanted to give a reason as to why Bella is making some changes to her personality, because I realize most people don't just wake up and change overnight. Please let me know what you think! Next chapter we get to see Jasper.


	9. Jasper's Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper apologizes to Bella.

"It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." - Anne Frank

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it.” - Eric Roth

**BPOV**

Only a few minutes had passed when Carlisle entered from behind us. I offered a smile.

"How long has it been since you showered? I'd like to check out that bandage."

I checked my watch. "Just over half an hour. Esme and I got to talking and I forgot to come and find you." I unbuttoned my shirt, lifting up my tank top. "I tried to keep it dry, but I didn't do so well."

He opened up his medical bag and put a pair of gloves on. I kept myself as still as possible while he did his work. Luckily, I had a lot of practice at playing patient. Just as he took off the bandage I heard a gasp from behind him. Looking up, I saw Alice with her hand covering her mouth, her eyes trained on my nasty bruise. Carlisle continued his work unfazed.

"Alice, you should be in your room. What are you doing down here?" Esme scolded.

Alice composed herself, tearing her eyes away and avoiding my gaze. "It's a little after five, I came down to see if I could help you with dinner" she replied softly.

"Sure, Alice. Go wait for me in the kitchen." Esme moved from the couch, following Alice into the kitchen. With his usual swiftness, Carlisle had finished replacing my bandage and I readjusted my shirt.

Carlisle took this time to speak. "Bella, it's your first night here. You don't have to worry about any 'family dinner' or anything like that. We should all just worry about dinner on our own." He looked about as tired as I felt.

"Don't worry about it. It's going to happen sooner or later, and honestly, I'd rather just get it over with. Plus, I haven't had a real cooked meal in a while. When you're the only one eating, there's no need to cook; salads and sandwiches are good enough." He didn't look convinced. "Honestly. I'm fine, Carlisle. I'm not afraid of them." I wasn't sure I believed what I said, and by the looks of it, neither did he, but he didn't argue.

He paused, thinking for a bit. "You know what, Bella? I think you should give them a taste of their own medicine." I wasn't sure what he meant by that. "Obviously I don't mean you should bully them, that's not what I'm suggesting. But think of it this way. You're free to do anything you want here. They, however, are grounded in every way I can think of. Make them pay. Flaunt your freedom. Watch movies, listen to music loudly, hang out in the backyard, announce when you're going out. Hell, play some video games if you're into that," he chuckled. "Show them that you're not fazed by them, like you said. You're one of the strongest young ladies I know. Show them your strength; make them see that you're ok." He got up and disposed of the gloves and old bandage, heading up the stairs and leaving me with my thoughts.

He was right. I _should_ make them pay. Of course, I wasn't going to resort to their ways of cruelty and harshness… but I could make them feel a little more miserable. Show them how the mighty have fallen. They were at the top, now they're powerless. They couldn't do anything, even in their own home. They couldn't intimidate me. I have changed. Well, I was actively changing. Not quite there yet, but working towards it. I'd taken a bullet and survived. I was stronger now; not quite indestructible, but harder to take down than before. What happened yesterday put things into perspective. I wasn't going to let them get to me anymore. They could say what they want, do what they want, it didn't matter. From today on, it wouldn't mean a thing. I was a new Bella. Tough, like Charlie. Feisty, like Renee. Independent, like Esme. I was turning the tables. Now they would be the ones uncertain, questioning, doubtful. I would speak my mind. Stand up for myself. Get some answers.

I took a deep breath. My heart didn't quite feel it, but I was determined. I was in control of myself, my emotions; not them. With these thoughts in mind, I stood and retreated to my room. Now that my hair was dry, I combed it, putting it up into a loose bun. Using the tap water, I took some more pain meds. I looked into the mirror.

_This is it, Swan. Time to put on a show._

I would be confident, and tough, and feisty, and independent. All these things, I would become. But for tonight, I would fake it. And I would fake it tomorrow. I would fake it until I no longer needed to. _Fake it till you make it, right?_ That's exactly what I would do. Dinner would be ready shortly; by then my pain meds would be in full effect, dulling the pain and the emotions. No fear. Strength.

_No fear. Strength._

I nodded at my reflection. "Good pep talk," I whispered to my reflection.

I turned the light off and sat on the bed, grabbing my phone and charger from my backpack. I hadn't charged it since it died in the hospital, so I plugged it in before going through the bag of clothes more thoroughly. Taking everything out, I noticed there were also two pairs of black leggings and some socks. Everything was placed neatly in the dresser before I moved on to my backpack. In the main zipper were my notebooks and binder, along with my copy of Wuthering Heights, which was in seriously poor condition. I set the book on the bedside table. After a few minutes, my phone finally had enough power to turn back on and started buzzing. I was shocked to see I had a few text messages, a missed call, and a voice mail. All from Angela Weber. I opened the text messages first.

'Hey Bella! I can't believe you're in the hospital. Please text me back when you wake up, I'd love to come and visit you.'

'Bella, I just wanted to make sure you got my voicemail. The school is going to remain closed for a few weeks to give everyone time to deal with what happened. So let me know when you're feeling better and I'd love to grab lunch with you!'

I went to the voicemail, which was only an hour old. Her voice was soft, a little sad.

_"Hey, Bella. It's Angela. I hope you're okay. I heard you got released today… Well, actually, I went to go see you and you weren't there anymore. I would love to come and see you and talk... I miss you. I really want to make sure you're ok. Please get back to me, Bells. Bye."_

A lump had grown in my throat. She came to visit me in the hospital. That was very sweet. I hadn't seen her in almost a year and a half, when the bullying had started. I refused to talk to her once we started high school. Being seen with me would only make her the next victim, and I refused to let that happen. I missed her, but I was glad she was safe from the wrath of Edward.

Just then, my phone started buzzing again with an incoming call.

"Hello?"

_"Bella?"_

"Jacob?"

_"I haven't talked to you in ages! Where the hell have you been, Loca? I heard what happened at your school, are you ok? Who the hell shot you?"_

"I'm fine, Jake. Seriously. It's not how it sounds, he didn't mean to shoot me. I decided to play Charlie Jr. and save the day; it was an accident." I heard him chuckle over the phone.

_"You're definitely a Swan. Well hey, the boys and I miss you. You should come to visit when you feel up to it. Just like old times. What do ya say?"_

I nodded before realizing he couldn't see me. "Yeah, sure. That sounds like a good idea, Jake. What about Saturday? We'll make a whole day out of it?"

_"Sounds great!"_ I heard several voices on the line. " _Hey guys, it's Bella! She's coming over Saturday, so don't make any plans."_

"Alright, Jake, I gotta go," I said, looking at the clock.

_"We've been on the phone two minutes and you're already getting rid of me?"_

"I need to eat, you of all people should respect hunger pains. Tell the guys I miss them and I'll see them on Saturday. I'll spend the whole day on the res and we'll catch up, I promise."

_"Alright, Bells. See ya then."_ There was a chorus of goodbyes from the guys before the line went dead.

Before heading downstairs to eat I decided to send Angela a text.

'Hey Angela! Lunch sounds perfect. How about we go to that Italian place in Port Angeles tomorrow? Meet you there at 12:30? It'll be good to get out of Forks. Talk to you then. I miss you too.'

With that thought, I realized my truck was probably still parked at the school. Venturing into the hallway, I tried to remember which door Esme said led to Carlisle's office. I passed a few closed doors which I imagined held some sour teenage prisoners. Once I reached the door I was fairly certain was the correct one, I knocked softly.

"Come in," answered Carlisle.

I pushed the door open to find Carlisle sitting behind a beautiful wooden desk, with Jasper seated on a brown leather couch across from him. Behind Jasper to my right was a number of bookshelves, all stocked full; Esme was right- it _was_ grand. My stomach did a little flip and I scanned through some of the titles. The bookshelves reached all the way to the ceiling and covered both the side walls.

_Focus, Bella. You can visit the library another time._

"I'm sorry, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything." I apologized. Jasper was looking at the ground, his eyes red and his lips pursed tightly together.

"We're actually just finishing up and heading down to dinner. What can I do for you, Bella?" Carlisle smiled.

"My car?" was all I said.

"Ah. It is still at the school, as I suppose you've figured out. I have an early shift of work tomorrow, but I'm sure Esme can drive you there to pick it up. Unless you'll need a car sooner than that, in which case you can borrow any of the other cars. They'll be untouched for the next several weeks. Are you going out tonight?"

"Oh, that's not necessary. I was just going to head out to Port Angeles tomorrow, it's nothing urgent."

"That sounds lovely. We'll talk to Esme about it at dinner." With that, he stood and headed towards the door. Jasper rose slowly from the couch but didn't move from his position.

"Bella?" He asked. "I was just wondering if I could talk to you before dinner." Carlisle looked at me warily, as if to see if I had a problem with Jasper's request.

"Sure." I nodded. Carlisle bowed his head and exited the room, closing the door behind him. My chest felt the slightest bit tighter at the prospect of being in an enclosed space with Jasper. I crossed my arms, waiting for Jasper to start.

"I'm sorry," he rushed out. I nodded. "And more than that, I just…" he trailed off, his eyes glistening. He cleared his throat, regaining his composure. "More than that, I want to tell you that it was bullshit. All of it was bullshit. You're not stupid, or worthless, or a waste of space, or ugly, or anything that we've ever said to you. You're easily top of the class, you're a very pretty girl, and you're a _good_ person. And I'm not making this up to make you feel better. It's true." He paused to take a breath; he was talking so fast. His southern drawl was more pronounced with the emotion in his voice. "And what we said yesterday, that crossed the line. Charlie loved you, everyone in town knows it. He was always telling anyone he talked to how proud he was of his daughter. Everything we said was all bullshit, you have to believe that." He looked at me with pleading eyes. After he got no response from me, he continued. "I understand if you hate me, or don't want to speak to me for the rest of our lives. But please, believe me when I say this; it was all just some sick, cruel game. You can't believe those things about yourself."

I didn't know what to say; I was stunned. He was standing with his fists clenched, a look of desperation in his eyes. "Why are you telling me this, Jasper?"

He ran his hand through his hair, looking a lot like Carlisle. "Because I don't want you to live here thinking that you're in the way, or that you're not welcome, or that we hate you. _We're_ the fuck-ups, not you. _We're_ the ones all screwy in the head. Not you _."_ I wasn't sure what to say, but I remembered my new vow of honesty.

"Jasper... I'll tell you what I told Emmett. I forgive you." I didn't give him a chance to question me. "Now, I'm not saying we're going to be all buddy-buddy and hang out and be friends, and I'm not saying I'll just forget everything you've said to me. It's going to take a while for me to move past that. But holding onto a grudge will only hurt me; it'll make me bitter and destroy me from the inside out. I won't allow that to happen. And as for you, if you just move from saying hurtful things to me to saying hurtful things to yourself, you're going to stay in a negative mindset and deny yourself the opportunity to be a better person." I paused, but he didn't argue. "I'll make you a deal." He looked up, confused. "If you want me to believe that I'm a good person, then I will. But you have to believe the same thing about yourself." He opened his mouth to object, but I cut him off. "-and if you're _not_ a good person today, then become one. Be better every day." Having said all that was on my mind, I turned to leave.

"Bella?" He called out once more. I turned and raised an eyebrow. "For as long as you live here, I'm going to make amends for everything I've done."

"Prove it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think, and what your opinions of Jasper are. The next chapter is the family dinner - confrontation!


	10. The First Family Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella joins the Cullens for their first family dinner.

"You do not write your life with words...You write it with actions. What you think is not important. It is only important what you _do_.' - Patrick Ness

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” - Andy Warhol

**JasPOV**

The minutes passed by achingly slowly; with absolutely nothing to do in my room, I felt as if I had been trapped here for a week already. Rolling onto my side, I punched my pillow trying to get comfortable, my mind turning. Bella was in the house now; I heard the garage open when they returned from the hospital. I should go talk to her.

_No. It's her first day. Don't bombard her._

I thought of what she must be doing. Probably vegging in the kitchen. The few times I'd been in the hospital, I came home starving. They may pump you with IVs and nutrients but that did nothing for your stomach. Then again, Bella never ate much, so maybe not. Esme's probably giving her a tour of the house. She loved showing people all of her hard work. Just as I had that thought, I heard movement in the hallway as someone walked past my door towards the end of the hall; Carlisle's office. Maybe Esme was showing her the library. Bella loved books, I'm sure that would be her favorite room in the house. My mind instantly went to the times we had poked fun at her hobby.

_I'm seriously an asshole._ Why did we even make fun of her? Most of us enjoyed reading. Carlisle and Esme used to make us read at least 30 minutes a day when we were younger to ensure we'd appreciate the joy of reading when we were older. Then again, most of what we teased Bella for was unfounded. I needed to get out of my room.

Braving myself for a scolding, I cracked open my bedroom door. The office door was cracked, but no noise emanated from it. Fleeing my room, I placed myself directly in front of the door and knocked.

"Come in," Carlisle replied.

I stepped into his office. He looked up from his paperwork briefly before continuing to scribble. "You're supposed to be in your room, Jasper." He chastised.

"I know, Dad, I'm sorry. I just… I wanted to apologize."

"Shouldn't you be apologizing to someone else in the house?" He sighed, still scribbling.

"Yes, but… I wanted to give her some time to settle in before I talked to her." He didn't say anything, so I continued. "I'm sorry I failed you, Dad." He stopped what he was doing and put his pen aside, giving me his full attention. "I failed you Dad. What I've done to Bella and Eric is unacceptable. I don't know what's been going through my mind the last year to allow me to do those things. It's just wrong. And now, Dad, I'm worried…" When I didn't continue, he spoke up.

"Worried about what? What's going to happen to you?"

"No. I don't care what happens to me. I could be locked in this house until I graduated and I know I'd deserve it." _This isn't about you, Jasper._ "I'm worried about Bella. I'm worried that she believes that all those things we've said to her are true."

"Sit down, Jasper." I obeyed. He ran his hand through his hair. "Jasper, remember when you were in middle school, right before we moved here?" I nodded. "You'd come home crying nearly every day because the kids at school called you a freak for liking Alice, even though you weren't related. Or they'd say that you were too emotional, or call you a baby."

It had been a while since I thought of that time in my life, but I remembered. "I hardly ever think of that now."

"And do you know why you never think about it?" I shook my head no. "What did your mother and I say to you when you'd come home in tears?"

I thought about it for a second, recalling Esme holding me tight and the two of them reassuring me. "You said that they didn't understand me, and they were ignorant. We were just a little different, and that was ok."

"And every day, we told you that we loved you and that things would get better, right?" Another nod. "Bella didn't have that, Jasper. She went home to an empty house, where her mother had left her and both her parents had died. She had no one to reassure her that everything you've said isn't true. She had no one to hold her and tell her 'I love you' or 'it'll get better'. Can you even begin to imagine what that must have been like?"

His words hit me like a brick. I had never thought of it like that. _Of course you haven't, because you're a self-centered prick who had your head so far up your ass and didn't bother to think about the consequences of your actions._ If my parents hadn't been there to tell me things would get better over and over again, I would've broken down and lost all my fight, my spirit. I would've asked to be pulled out and home-schooled, I didn't doubt it. I was ok because I had people to remind me that I was loved, and there was nothing wrong with who I was. And Bella didn't. 

My thoughts were interrupted by a quick knock on the door; the very subject of my thoughts walked in. She and Carlisle had a short conversation before he stood and moved to retreat downstairs. I didn't want to wait any longer before I apologized. "Bella?" I stood up. She hesitated. "I was just wondering if I could talk to you before dinner."

"Sure." She nodded. She gave Carlisle a look before he exited the room, closing the door for us to talk.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out. "And more than that, I just…" I started thinking of what Carlisle had said to me; of course she would believe those terrible things, how could she not? I felt my chest tighten. Clearing my throat I began again. "More than that, I want to tell you that it was bullshit. All of it was bullshit. You're not stupid, or worthless, or a waste of space, or ugly, or anything that we've ever said to you. You're easily top of the class, you're a very pretty girl, and you're a _good_ person. And I'm not making this up to make you feel better. It's true. And what we said yesterday, that crossed the line. Charlie loved you, everyone in town knows it. He was always telling anyone he talked to how proud he was of his daughter. Everything we said was all bullshit, you have to believe that." She didn't look convinced. She _had_ to understand this. "I understand if you hate me, or don't want to speak to me for the rest of our lives. But please, believe me when I say this; it was all just some sick, cruel game. You can't believe those things about yourself." She didn't respond. _She wasn't getting it, damnit._ I wanted to shake her; I wanted to force her to listen, to believe me. All I could think of was her sitting alone in her empty house dwelling on the lies that we fed her.

"Why are you telling me this, Jasper?" she finally spoke.

"Because I don't want you to live here thinking that you're in the way, or that you're not welcome, or that we hate you. _We're_ the fuck-ups, not you. _We're_ the ones all screwy in the head. Not you _."_

"Jasper…" she took a deep breath, preparing herself. _This is where she tells you_ _to shove it._ "I'll tell you what I told Emmett. I forgive you." I must have misheard her. "Now, I'm not saying we're going to be all buddy-buddy and hang out and be friends, and I'm not saying I'll just forget everything you've said to me. It's going to take a while for me to move past that. But holding onto a grudge will only hurt me; it'll make me bitter and destroy me from the inside out. I won't allow that to happen. And as for you, if you just move from saying hurtful things to me to saying hurtful things to yourself, you're going to stay in a negative mindset and deny yourself the opportunity to be a better person." _Shit._ She was right, but… it wasn't the same. What I said about her wasn't the truth. I was thinking about myself _was._ "I'll make you a deal. If you want me to believe that I'm a good person, then I will. But you have to believe the same thing about yourself." I was about to interject when she cut me off. "-and if you're _not_ a good person today, then become one. Be better every day." She turned to leave, done with the conversation. Wait, I wasn't done!

"Bella?" I called one last time. She turned and raised a brow. "For as long as you live here, I'm going to make amends for everything I've done," I swore.

She paused a moment before replying. "Prove it." She answered, retreating and leaving me with my thoughts.

I didn't understand how she could forgive me so quickly. I _wasn't_ a good person, but maybe she was right. I could become one. I would become one for Bella's sake. For her to believe what I'd told her, I'd believe what she told me. I'd become someone that deserved her forgiveness. Right now I didn't, regardless of the fact that she'd given it to me. I wouldn't take advantage of her kindness. I'd prove to her that this is now _her_ home, that she was not in the way, and she was welcome here _._ A voice sounded from downstairs; it was Esme's dinner call. Exiting my father's office, I made it for the stairs and heard my siblings follow behind me silently.

* * *

**BPOV**

After I'd finished talking with Jasper I went straight to the kitchen, again passing no one. Alice was in the dining room, placing silverware beside each of the eight plates. Esme smiled when she saw me enter, looking up from the salad she was tossing.

"Bella, dear, could you bring this to the table?" She handed me the salad bowl. "I'm going to carry in the spaghetti."

"Of course." I did as she asked, bringing it into the dining room and setting it in the center of the table. The table was complete, and Alice had taken the last seat on the side I was standing in front of. Carlisle entered, carrying napkins, salt, and pepper, and took the seat at the head of the table directly to my right. He gestured to the seat right in front of me. "Please, have a seat. We'll finally have a full table." He smiled. As I sat down, Esme called from the bottom of the stairs that dinner was ready and took the seat directly across from me, holding Carlisle's hand.

This was it _. No fear; strength._ It's dinner. I ate lunch with these people every day. _Well, every day I wasn't hiding in the library..._

Jasper was the first to enter, taking the seat between me and Alice; then Emmett, to Esme's right, Rosalie to his right, and Edward was last, sitting at the end of the table. Emmett and Jasper offered up a smile, Rosalie looked as if she'd eaten something sour, and Edward looked… pained. He stared at his plate. His words from the other day rang loud through my head; _'I don't want you near my house. Stay away from me!'_ Surely that was the cause of his angst.

I shook the thought away, sipping from the glass of water set before me. It was silent as Carlisle started with the salad, serving Esme first, then himself. He asked me if he could serve me and I nodded. Jasper followed his lead, serving Alice, then himself. Emmett did the same with Rosalie's plate and his own; Edward served himself. Everyone began eating, so I followed suit, forking an olive into my mouth.

Alice was the first to speak. "How was your day, Dad?" Immediately my mind went to Charlie and the nights we'd eat together on the couch, some game on the tv in front of us. _Strength, Swan…_

He swallowed. "Long. The new nurse decided to give me a coffee shower within the first thirty minutes of my shift, so I had to wear scrubs the entire day." I chuckled. _So that's how it went down._ He chuckled with me, continuing. "I came home early to talk with you guys, and then your mother and I returned to the hospital. I left again when I released Bella; they didn't need me."

After Carlisle's pause was long enough to indicate he was done speaking, Alice spoke again. "How was yours, Mom?"

"It was long as well. Nothing too much happened, though." She left it short and simple, quieter than I'd seen her all day.

"Bella?" Alice asked.

"What?" I answered too quickly, noticing a defensiveness in my tone.

"How was your day?" she clarified, sounding genuine; I wasn't sure if I trusted her sincerity.

I shrugged.

"Really? How was it?" Edward challenging. _Were we really going to do this?_ He blinked, waiting.

Fine. No fear. Strength.

I took a deep breath, feeling it in my ribs despite the pain medicine. "Well, let's see. I woke up in the hospital, thinking you were dead." _No fear_. "I found out instead that I was shot in the process of playing Charlie Jr." _Strength_. "I met a _lovely_ woman named Ms. Buckett who would give you a run for your money," Carlisle snorted. "And lucky for all of you, she sent me to live here." It was Rosalie who snorted this time, earning a few aggravated looks. I swept my hands in front of me. "And here I am, sitting at my first family dinner in I don't even know how long. Oh, and there's a hole in my chest. And it hurts." The sarcasm in my voice may have been a tad bit strong, but as I said before. I wasn't going to be a doormat anymore.

The room grew silent once again as we moved on to the spaghetti; I served myself this time. Everyone had dug in while I was left staring at my plate; my appetite was gone.

_You said it yourself you didn't want to lose any more weight. You're going to have to eat._

I sighed at my mental scolding and started eating.

Carlisle turned to Esme. "Honey, Bella needs her truck for a trip to Port Angeles tomorrow. I have the early shift; is there any chance to can take her to the school to get it tomorrow morning?"

Her brow wrinkled. "Shoot, I don't believe that I can. Tomorrow is Wednesday, I have a video conference with a few clients that's been on the schedule for weeks."

"I can take her," Emmett offered. That earned an icy stare from Rosalie.

_Do not let her get to you._

I rolled my eyes, exaggerating a bit. She clearly saw, because her jaw clenched.

"No, Emmett, you are grounded. And frankly, I don't trust any of you with even the simple task of driving to school and back without breaking the rules; you have not earned that trust." Esme answered. Emmett didn't argue. "Bella, why don't you take my car? I won't need it, I'll be working from here all day." I shook my head and started to object; however, she was faster than I, as I had spaghetti in my mouth. "I insist. We can get your truck when you get back. Plus, my car is a much safer vehicle. For a trip all the way to Port Angeles, I'd feel much better if you took mine." I sighed for the hundredth time today, ready to protest. Carlisle cut me off this time.

"It's settled. Perfect." He flashed his million-dollar smile, looking victorious. I rolled my eyes at his juvenile behavior.

"Thank you, Esme. I'll fill it with gas on the way back."

"Nonsense. It's my pleasure." She smiled.

The next few minutes passed without conversation. It was nearing the end of dinner when I finished off my water, and _of course,_ it went down the wrong way. A coughing fit ensued.

My side lit up like the fourth of July, fire all through my lung. I covered my mouth with a napkin and stood, trying to back away from the table. The coughing worsened and I collapsed to my knees, clutching my side. I couldn't stop it. I heard Carlisle shout about his medical bag as I felt warmth under my hand. Three more coughs and the fit was over. Unable to hold it in any longer, a groan escaped my lips, along with a few whispered curses.

"You broke your stitches, let me see," Carlisle ordered.

I looked down; my hand was red with blood. I lifted my shirt up just enough for him to see, very much aware of all the eyes trained on me. Once Carlisle had his gloves on, he lifted my bloodied bandage and placed it on a napkin.

"I'm going to have to re-stitch this; let's move to the couch."

He helped me up and over to the living room; never once did the staring subside. As Carlisle started his work, Esme ordered everyone to clean up after themselves and then head upstairs. They did as they were told, _very_ slowly; clearly, they were sick and tired of their rooms already. Thankfully the staring had stopped.

I averted my eyes as Carlisle prepared his needle. "Son of a _gun_ that hurts." I squeezed through clenched teeth. And so returned the stares. In pain, I felt my agitation rising. Nice Bella was gone for the night. "As much as you all know I just _love_ being the center of attention, would you _please_ stop staring at me."

They all mumbled a 'sorry', save Rosalie; even Edward, who continued to stare where his father was working for a second or two more. He closed his eyes then resumed his chore. Once Carlisle was finished, he advised me to take more painkillers before bed and began to clean up.

"This one is a bit more water-proof." He added before leaving the room.

I headed straight for the kitchen sink to wash my hands before I managed to get blood anywhere. Edward stood with his back to me, loading the dishwasher. Upon hearing my approach, he turned. His eyes immediately went to the red on my shirt and hands, before meeting my eyes briefly. Looking down, he cleared his throat and turned back around.

"This side is empty, you can wash your hands there." He gestured towards the other half of the sink.

I took a deep breath before moving to his side. The blood had tried, so it took a bit of scrubbing, especially underneath my fingernails. We were so close our elbows were almost touching; it made me uncomfortable. I had moved on to drying my hands when he spoke up.

"Bella-"

"Don't." I cut him off.

He looked taken aback, and he started again. "Bella, I just-"

"Edward. Stop." I said firmly. I was not doing this. I had dealt with enough today, I didn't have to deal with any more. "Not tonight. And not tomorrow, for that matter. I'm not ready to talk to you yet."

After a moment, he nodded with a look of understanding; not a single nerve in my body trusted that look. Brushing past him, I returned to my room. Stripping to my undergarments, I put on a t-shirt, turned the light off, and crawled into bed. Closing my eyes, I allowed sleep to overtake me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! We love to see Bella stand up for herself. Next chapter we'll get to see a whole lot more into her thoughts and ideas for the transition to living with the Cullens when she talks with Angela. The next chapter is the longest I've ever written, about twice the length of this one. Let me know what you think!


	11. A Date with Angela Webber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Angela reconnect and spend the day in Port Angeles.

"The past has no power over the present moment." - Eckhart Tolle

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." - May Sarton

**BPOV**

Rolling to my side, I was awoken by a strong pain in my side I still hadn't gotten used to. As slowly as I could manage, I raised myself up and out of bed. The clock on my bedside table shouted the time in angry red letters: 8:47. I hadn't slept this late in months; even without an alarm, I'd always managed to wake up by 8:00.

I started making a quick schedule in my head as I grabbed my phone and headed to the bathroom.

Music.

That was first on the schedule. Turning on the water, I opened my Spotify app.

 _Empowering Playlist_ – Shuffle All

The voice of Ingrid Michaelson began to fill the room.

_I just wanna be ok, be ok, be ok… I just wanna be ok today._

A perfect song to start the day; I stepped into the shower. The hot water smoothed out my muscles and cleared my mind. My new bandage seemed to be holding its own under the water.

By the time I shut the water off, Brave by Sara Bareilles was playing. I sang along quietly. _That's right. Be brave._ I dried myself and wrapped my hair in a towel, walking to the bedroom. The clock read 9:13 as I pulled on a pair of jeans and a nicely fitted long sleeve top. I knew I'd have to get my clothes from home soon; Esme had only gotten me enough to last me about a week, and I did not want her to buy any more.

Returning to the bathroom, I blow-dried my hair. Whether or not the sun managed to peek through the clouds today, the temperature outside was still fairly cold. No sense in making it easier to get sick because of wet hair. It was just past 9:30 when I ready for the day. I ran through the schedule I'd come up with in the shower once more.

Head downstairs. Eat breakfast. Find something to stay busy with, maybe the dishes or a book. Leave the house by 10:45.

Grabbing my wallet, I shoved it into my backpack and left the safety of the bedroom. The smell of pancakes filled my nose as I carefully descended the stairs, causing my stomach to growl. Esme must really love cooking.

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, I froze in my tracks. Everyone was present. Jasper was surprisingly standing in front of the stove, spatula in hand. Alice and Emmett sat across from him at the counter, while Rosalie and Edward were halfway between the kitchen and the living room, in the middle of a conversation. Of course, they all stopped to stare when I entered.

I let out a frustrated sign; didn't anyone ever teach them staring was rude? I wasn't ready for this; I hadn't psyched myself up enough for the day. I was too focused on my plans to worry about my mental state. _Change of plans._ Grabbing the nearest consumable thing to me, which happened to be an apple, I decided to start my day early.

"I'm heading out. Do any of you know where Esme is?" I said to no one in particular.

Alice was the one who answered, walking over to me. "She's already started her video conference. I'll show you where the keys are, and which car is hers."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Before I turned to leave Emmett flashed a dimply smile. "Have fun!"

Jasper waved with his spatula. "See ya, Bella."

I gave a small wave and followed Alice. Once we had reached the garage, she grabbed a key chain off the rack and exited the house. We walked in silence towards a shiny gray car. I recognized it from the few times I'd seen in it the hospital parking lot; I should've known the only other spotless and glamorous car in town belonged to a Cullen.

Alice fiddled with the keys, holding them hostage and refusing to meet my gaze. Again, I found myself seeing a member of the Cullen in a way I'd never seen them before. Shame, embarrassment, and fear mangled her features; fear of rejection. She didn't speak, but I could tell she was trying to.

"Thanks," I said lamely, gesturing towards the car.

She gave a half-hearted smile and wordlessly handed me the keys, but didn't move to leave.

"Alice." I sighed.

Immediately her eyes began to water. "Bella, I'm-" she cut herself off, covering her mouth and closing her eyes. Thankfully, she was trying to compose herself. She took a deep breath and started again. "Bella, I'm so sorry. For everything. I know you're headed out for the day, so I was just wondering if we could talk sometime soon. I'd like to thank you for saving our lives, and give you a real apology."

This wasn't an Alice I was used to. As much as my head still said ' _Don't believe her!'_ my gut told me she was being sincere. Charlie always said I'd inherited his ability to see the truth. She also was _asking_ if she could speak with me instead of telling me, which is why I agreed.

"Sure, Alice. I'll be back before dinner, we can talk then."

She smiled again, a bit more genuine, but it still didn't reach her eyes. "Of course. Thank you, Bella." Without another word, she turned and retreated to the house.

Turning the key in my hand, I unlocked the door and ducked into the car. The interior was a beautiful gray leather, with the new car smell intact. There was an audio jack plugged into the stereo, so I connected my phone and resumed my playlist. I turned the key and started the car. Pushing the first button on the roof of the car, I was rewarded when the garage opened. Very slowly and with extreme caution, I backed out of the garage and down the driveway. I followed the trail until I hit the main road and was on my way. It took only a few minutes until I was in the main part of town, ten more and I was on the highway heading towards Port Angeles. I turned the volume up as one of Colbie Caillat's older songs came on.

If I was being honest with myself, Esme's quiet car and loud stereo system made for a wonderful car ride. There was hardly anyone on the road due to the fact that it was 10 in the morning on a Wednesday. I edged the volume up a bit more and lost myself in the music. I sang, loudly _,_ letting the music calm me and lift my spirits.

It felt good to be alone. This was a different kind of alone than I was used to. Usually, I was alone by force; there was no family at home and no friends to surround myself with. This was different. This was by choice. Just knowing that made it entirely different. I was on my way to lunch with a friend, singing to some music, taking a nice long drive. Today was going to be a good day. Once I had reached the restaurant I had picked out for lunch, _Bella Italia_ , I turned to music down to an acceptable volume and starting looking for someplace to get a coffee, since I had about an hour until I was supposed to meet up with Angela. I still was feeling a bit low on energy, so a boost of caffeine sounded nice. Around the corner, I saw a gorgeous-looking coffee shop. I parked the car and made my way in.

"Welcome to Lola's Café!" The barista greeted cheerfully from behind the counter. I walked up to the register. "My name is Tricia, how can I help you today?" she asked politely.

I ordered a hot chai latte and a piece of delicious-looking coffee cake to go. Once my latte was ready, I ventured outside to explore some more. A quick search on my phone brought up a list of nearby bookstores. Scrolling through my options, I found one that sold mostly used books and started walking.

With eagerness in my step, I was at Odyssey Bookshop in a few minutes, ready to explore the new – to me – store. I was immediately hit with the smell of burning incense as I opened the door. It had a warm, inviting atmosphere, cluttered but organized. Hundreds of books filled the shelves, most in great condition and all at insanely low prices.

I pulled my phone out and set an alarm; if I didn't, I had no doubt I'd stand up Angela for lunch unintentionally. Before putting it away, I sent her a text.

_'Bella Italia, 12:30. See you then!'_

Returning to the shelves, I began browsing. By the time my alarm went off, reminding me I had 20 minutes to get to the restaurant, I had collected thirteen books.

_You know the drill. Five go back on the shelf._

Unable to give up any more than four, I ended up leaving with a collection of Jane Austen's works, a new(ish) copy of _Wuthering Heights,_ as well as the collections of Hans Christian Andersen and the Grimm brothers. Charlie used to tell me their fairy tales when I was growing up. I couldn't resist taking home the collections when they were less than $10 for the set.

I rushed towards the register and paid quickly; the entire purchase was just under $60, and I had about ten minutes. I made a quick stop in the parking lot to deposit my books in the car and walked into the restaurant. Angela was in a booth in a corner and waved me over when she saw me. Her smile widened the closer I got, and she enveloped me into a tight hug once I reached the table.

"Oh, Bella. I've missed you." She said as we took our seats.

"I've missed you too, Ang."

"I ordered us some Cokes. That's still your favorite, right?"

"Of course." I smiled.

"How are you? Are you okay? I was so worried after what happened on Monday… No one really knew what happened afterward, only that you had been shot, and… Oh, Bella, I thought you might..." She trailed off, unable to say the word 'die.'

Being in the middle of everything that had happened, I never thought of what it must have looked like to someone on the outside. I wonder if the rest of the school thought I was in worse shape.

"I'm fine, Angela. I promise. I'm doing really well." I smiled, but could still see the worry in her eyes. "Honestly, I'm ok. Dr. Cullen takes great care of me, and Esme is very kind to be around. I've never been safer than I am now that I'm living with a highly skilled doctor."

Her face quickly went from worried to shocked. "What? You're living with the _Cullen's_?" she whispered the last part as if she were afraid to say it out loud.

Clearly, the news hadn't spread as quickly as I thought it would. With the school closed, Forks' heart of the gossip chain had been incapacitated.

"Yes, I am. I didn't really have too much of a choice," I started to explain before she could ask. "After I was put in the hospital and people outside of Forks realized I was never put under someone's care after Charlie passed, they had to take care of it. Since Dr. and Mrs. Cullen are already foster parents, they decided to place me with them to save the state money and all that."

She sat for a few minutes, realizing what I had just said. "Bella… No. That's not right. They can't do that."

"Apparently they can." I shrugged.

"But they've been bullying you for the last year and a half, you can't go live with them!" When I stayed silent, her eyes tightened. "You didn't tell them that they bullied you, did you?"

I shrugged. "Honestly, Ang, she probably wouldn't have cared anyway. The woman could've been a zombie. She 'didn't have the luxury of considering personal preferences' as she put it." I could tell this was not what Angela wanted to hear, so I continued before she could speak. "Angela, it's ok _._ I'm alright _._ I've dealt with them for a year and a half, what's a few more?"

Before she could reply we were interrupted by our waiter. He placed two cokes on the table then introduced himself.

"Hello. My name is Jason, I'll be your server today. How can I help you beautiful ladies?" he smiled.

Angela gave me a wink when he turned towards me. I felt my cheeks warm slightly.

"I'll have the shrimp scampi, please," I ordered, not wanting spaghetti two meals in a row. He nodded and turned to Angela.

"And I'll have the spaghetti and mushrooms, please." She smiled at him as he took our menus and backed away.

Once our distraction was gone, Worried Angela returned. "Bells…"

"Ang…" I copied. She sighed. "When have I lied to you, Angela?" _Once_. She didn't answer. "Exactly."

"Ok, fine. I'll ask you once and then I'll shut up. Are you going to be ok living in that house?" She asked very seriously.

"Yes. I will be. Besides, it's a huge mansion. With a pool. And a library. There's enough space for me to avoid seeing anyone for as long as I want."

She nodded in agreement with the smallest smile. "Ok." Her shoulders hunched again.

"What is it, Ang?"

She visibly deflated, looking miserable. "I should've been there for you, Bella."

"Stop."

"No, Bella, I should have! What kind of friend am I? I just sat back and let them torture you, never once did I say something, or-"

"Angela, stop it," I said firmly.

"Bella, I should have been there for you." She repeated.

"Listen to me, Angela. I told you to leave me alone. I told you I didn't want to be friends anymore. I would've been angry with you if you didn't listen to me."

I thought back to that day. A week after freshman year started, I met Angela in the parking lot before first hour. " _Angela, I don't want to be your friend anymore. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you ever again."_ I said it in my meanest voice. That was the only time I'd ever lied to her, and for all she knew, it was the truth. We stopped seeing each other after that day.

"I should have known better, Bella." Angela continued to argue.

"Stop _._ It's not your fault. You were doing what I asked, and I'm glad you did. Besides, you can't change the past."

She contemplated for a moment. "I suppose you're right. I can't change the past. And I'm sorry, but I'm not listening to you anymore. We're back to being friends. Both outside _and_ inside the school walls." She raised her chin defiantly.

I agreed. While I wasn't totally sure whether or not the Cullens would honestly treat me nicely once school opened again, I was fairly confident they wouldn't revert to their old behavior. Even if they did, and it turned out all their apologies were fake, _I_ wouldn't revert back to _my_ old behavior of being a pushover. I was growing a backbone. The next few minutes before our food arrived, we picked up where we left off all those months ago; it was like no time had passed, talking about our recent reads, her adorable little brothers, how cute the waiter was. When our food arrived, she became serious again.

"They haven't… done anything to you, have they? I mean, since you've moved in with them?" Though she was being vague, I knew what she was hinting at.

"Just a few of them. Emmett and Jasper. Alice tried this morning, but I left before she had the chance."

Her face was enraged. "What did they do to you? Have you told Dr. and Mrs. Cullen?" she asked in horror.

I paused for effect. "…they _apologized._ "

Her face jumped from anger to surprise to confusion, flashing a few others quickly. "They apologized?" she said flatly, not believing me. I nodded, shoving a bite of shrimp into my mouth. "Well, that's… unexpected. Did they mean it?"

I shrugged. "From what I could tell. They all came to me on their own, no one there to impress or put on a show for… Emmett was the first. He came to me at the hospital and broke down, saying how horrible he felt for not protecting his family and being a shitty person. Then Jasper apologized last night, and he made me promise that I wouldn't believe anything bad they've ever said about me."

"Wow. That's… well, I don't know what that is… nice? I mean, it's nice that Jasper said none of it was true."

"Yeah. He also said he was going to make amends for it all, but we'll see. I forgave them. I mean honestly, I did. But I'm not naïve. I'm watching my back around them."

"Good. I wouldn't trust them. What about Rosalie and Edward?" Her voice dropped a bit when she said his name, again as if she was afraid to say it out loud.

"No. I don't think Rosalie will ever apologize. She's 'above it.' The only way she'll apologize is if someone makes her. As for Edward… I think he tried to last night."

"Tried to?"

"I didn't give him the chance. I told him I wasn't ready to talk to him yet."

"Good for you, standing up to him. I'm glad. Are you going to forgive him - well, him and Rosalie, if they do apologize?"

I had thought of this throughout the day. "If they're sincere, then I will eventually. It won't be as easy as it was for the other three, but you know I'm not one to hold a grudge. It'll take some time - probably a few weeks - to be able to move past all they said. I mean with Rosalie, she's the only one that I believe honestly despises my existence. Like I believe she genuinely hates me. And as for Edward, he's the one who started it all. He's the one who singled me out, the rest just followed him. He was the ring leader. That's probably why it was so easy to forgive the others. But I'm not going to stay angry and bitter. There will come a time when I'm ready to move on from all of this." _Hopefully, that day would come fairly soon…_

A silence came over us as we enjoyed the rest of our meal.

"We should hang out some more before school starts back up," Angela suggested. I nodded, my mouth full, leaving me unable to speak. "Although, you'll probably have to come to my house. I don't feel like running into any of them."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that." This time _her_ mouth was full, so I explained. "They're all grounded, pretty severely from what I've heard. They can't even leave the house." She mumbled a 'wow' around the spaghetti in her mouth. "Carlisle told me I should stick it to 'em while they're grounded. Watch movies and flaunt when I'm going out."

"Are you?"

I snorted a little. "No. You know I'm not the type. I mean, I'm definitely going to get out of the house pretty often, and listen to loud music, and watch movies throughout the day. But I'll take into consideration who's around, and make sure it's at least somewhat enjoyable for the others."

"Of course you would be so considerate." She rolled her eyes. "Maybe if there's a sunny day I'll come over and we'll have a pool day. That'll stick it to 'em."

"I like how you think." I laughed. "But don't get your hopes up, we have another eight months until Summer."

At that moment, the bill came. Angela already had her money ready in her hand, slipped it into the check, and gave it back before I could even reach for my wallet.

"Angela…" I said disapprovingly.

"Oh, hush. You can pay next time. Because there _will_ be a next time." She smiled and stood up.

As soon as we were out the door, she turned to me and grabbed my arm. "Let's go do something else! We're already here, let's just make a day out of it!" she pleaded.

Unable to stop the grin from spreading across my face, I nodded. It was only 1:30 in the afternoon; I could manage a couple more hours before I returned to the Cullen house. "That sounds amazing. What do you want to do?"

"Well, I kind of feel like shopping," she said impishly. Neither of us was too big on fashion, but shopping for clothes sounded like a good idea, in case it took a while before I found time to go home and pack up my clothes. She paused halfway through the parking lot. "Where's your truck?"

"Oh, it's still at the school. I'm using Mrs. Cullen's today." With that, I lead her to the small car. "Did you drive your mom's car?" If the situation was the same as it was in middle school, her mom only had one car and needed it for work.

She nodded. "I dropped her off at work so I could use the car for the day, so I just have to leave here a little before four."

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. We went to two outlet stores. I ended up with three new pairs of skinny jeans that were on sale, a few nice fitted sweaters, and a pair of cute boots. I even splurged a little and bought a bit of makeup - just some cover-up, mascara, and a stick of eyeliner I was sure wouldn't get too much use. Wearing makeup wasn't something I'd done before, but I didn't exactly have an aversion to it. I hadn't wanted to give the Cullen's another excuse to make jokes. ' _Swan's wearing makeup! I wonder who she's trying to impress, maybe she's got a hot date!'_ It had been safer to never experiment and be as unnoticeable as possible. Now, however, I didn't see anything wrong with some light makeup. I was a new Bella, and New Bella wanted dark eyelashes.

It was nearing 3:30, so we made a quick stop at the nearest flower store. I wanted to pick up a thank you give for Carlisle and Esme. Picking out a gorgeous assortment of flowers that seemed brighter than the ones you could find in Forks, I grabbed a blank card as well. Before leaving the shop, I made a quick note on the card, taking extra time to write as neatly as I could.

_Carlisle and Esme - Thank you so much for everything you've done. Carlisle, you quite literally saved my life. Esme, you've shown me incredible compassion in the few short days I've been here. And to both of you, I want to thank you for taking me into your home. I appreciate everything you've done for me and can only hope that one day I can pay you back for all the kindness you've shown to me. Thank you, Bella._

Walking back to the parking lot, I turned to Angela to say our goodbyes. We shared a long hug and promised to talk regularly. I started the car up again and headed back to Forks, Ed Sheeran playing in the background. Around 4:30 I was pulling into the town's gas station to fill the car. It's amazing how much faster the trip was when you had a car that ran smoothly and didn't shake whenever you drove past 55mph. Thankfully, no one from the school was out in town.

Pulling into the garage, I entered the house with the vase of flowers and card in hand. Esme was in the kitchen starting to prepare dinner. I made it all the way into the dining room where Alice was setting the table before she noticed.

"Oh, Bella!" she gasped. "You shouldn't have. These are absolutely gorgeous." She immediately stopped her work and came to admire them.

I handed her the card. "Just a very small thank you for all you've done for me."

She smiled warmly before opening the card. Rather than awkwardly watch her read it, I turned to Alice. "I have to grab some bags from the car, do you want to come and help me and we can talk?"

She nodded eagerly and followed me out to the garage. As soon as the door was shut she started speaking. "Bella, I am so sorry." She was much more composed than she was earlier in the day, for which I was grateful. "I'm sorry for everything I've said to you and about you. You don't deserve that, you never did. None of it's true. You're such a strong person. You saved my life. Who knows how many people could have been hurt if you didn't do what you did." She paused for a second, before sternly saying "I'm not going to wrong you again, Bella."

I stared at her for a moment, reading her expression. She was being honest. While I had doubts about what the future might hold once we were back in school, _she_ believed what she was saying was true. "I forgive you, Alice. Thank you for apologizing."

Her expression was relieved. "Thank you. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but you've given it to me. I hope we can be friends one day, Bella," she said, surprising me.

"Alice-"

She cut me off. "I know it's going to be a while for you to be able to see me as anything other than your bully. And I don't expect us to be braiding each other's hair or painting our nails together any time soon. I'm just saying that I hope one day we can move past all of this. Maybe I'm not the kind of person you want to be friends with, but you're the kind of friend that I want to have."

I was shocked at how polar opposite this Alice was to the Alice I knew from school. "I'll make you a deal" I started. It worked with Jasper. "If you want to move past this, then we're going have to be honest with each other. I'll be honest with all of you guys - give me the same treatment, and maybe one day we might be… friends." I'm not sure if 'friends' was an appropriate term but I decided to use her words.

"Deal. Honesty, through and through." She nodded excessively like she was trying a little too hard to get the idea to stick. We started walking back to the door. "You really are a strong person, Bella."

I mumbled a 'thank you' as we entered the house. She went straight to the kitchen, helping Esme cut some vegetables.

"Dinner will be ready at 5:30 today," Esme called over her shoulder. I answered with a 'thanks' and left the room.

I climbed the stairs and dumped my bags beside my bed, pulling out a book and setting it on the window seat. I had about an hour before dinner was ready, so I decided to relax the best way I knew how. I connected my phone to the Bluetooth speaker on my bookshelf and put on my 'Calm' playlist. I tried lifting the bench seat and as I guessed, it lifted up to reveal a few small blankets. I picked a white fuzzy one that was quite possibly the softest blanket I'd ever used. Setting an alarm for 5:30, I escaped into my book.

* * *

My alarm woke me. I didn't fall asleep often when reading, but I could feel the exhaustion today. Pushing my blanket and book aside, I rushed out the door and down the stairs, not wanting to make anyone wait. Rushing was a mistake.

My body still filled with sleep and exhaustion, one foot hit the other and I nearly fell headfirst. Before I made the ugly fall, a set of arms reached out and grabbed me. My heart jumped into my throat as the reality of what could have just happened hit me. The fear immediately turned to irritation when he opened his mouth.

"Watch it, Swan!" Edward hissed. Instantly, he seemed like he regretted speaking, rushing past me to the bottom stairs.

"Fuck off," I whispered once he was far enough away not to hear me. _Coward. Should've said it louder._

Before I made it to my seat, I was cut off by Esme who pulled me into a hug. "Thank you, sweetheart. You're too kind to us." My cheeks warmed. Everyone was in their seats and had watched the exchange.

"It's the least I could do to thank you," I replied.

"Nonsense. We're a bit behind the curve in all this, so there's no need to thank us." Carlisle smiled at me while I took my seat. He squeezed my shoulder with a fatherly look; it reminded me of Charlie and I felt my throat tighten. He removed his hand and started serving Esme and himself dinner, beef stroganoff.

Jasper was the one who asked this time. "How was your day, Dad?"

"It was slow. Nothing too interesting happened, very routine and kind of boring. No coffee showers though, thankfully." Carlisle, Esme and I shared a look and a chuckle.

"Mom?"

"It was delightful. My video conference went really well, and we got a few new projects started. I might be a little busy in the next few months, but I'm very happy for this opportunity."

"That's wonderful, love." Carlisle gave her a quick peck. It was adorable seeing their affection. I'd never really lived with a couple, since my mom left when I was so young. I thought it was sweet to see.

"Also, you kids were very well behaved today, so thank you," she said, turning back towards the rest of the table. "No bickering, no fighting, no drama. I wasn't bothered from my work all day. At the risk of speaking prematurely, I'd say today was a success." Carlisle was clearly shocked at their good behavior, his eyebrows shooting up and his forehead wrinkling. Regardless, he smiled.

"Bella?" Jasper turned to me, his mouth curling upwards into what looked like a genuinely friendly smile.

"My day was actually amazing. I went to Port Angeles and met up with Angela Weber for lunch. We went shopping for a bit, bought some clothes. Oh, and I found this amazing bookstore with tons of really nice used books."

"You went shopping?" Alice asked excitedly. She got this gleam in her eye I hadn't seen before.

"Yeah, just a few new pairs of jeans and sweaters until I'm ready to go get my clothes from home."

"Did you get any good books?" Jasper asked, looking about excited as Alice.

I blushed lightly, recalling all the times they'd poked fun at my taste in books and wondering if I should say anything. Then I thought, to hell with it. _Honesty, right?_ "I bought a Jane Austin collection, a new copy of Wuthering Heights since mine is nearly falling apart, and a few other collections; to be honest, I think I went a little overboard."

"On books?" Esme asked. "Impossible." She shared a knowing smile with me.

"What about you guys?" Carlisle addressed the rest of the table. "How did you manage to not bother your mother all day without your usual means of entertainment?"

"We just stayed in the living room all day. Played tic tac toe, hangman, chess. Jasper and Edward read." Alice replied.

"Really? It's been so long since I've seen any of you with a book, I'm surprised you even remembered where the library is." Carlisle teased light-heartedly.

Jasper chuckled, and the table fell silent while we all enjoyed Esme's cooking for a bit. The silence was comfortable until Edward decided to interrupt it.

"Bella, I was wondering if I could talk to you after dinner." Talking to me alone didn't work so well, so he figured bringing it up in front of everyone would make me reluctant to disagree.

_Try all you want, Cullen. I'm not backing down._

"Actually, Edward," I flinched a bit when I heard the curtness in my voice. I wasn't _trying_ to be mean, but I didn't appreciate his game. "It's been kind of a long day. I think I'm going to head to bed after dinner tonight. I'm awfully tired" I lied. I'd agreed to be honest with Alice and Jasper, Edward I owed nothing.

"It won't take long, just a few minutes." Clearly, he wasn't backing down either.

"I don't know if you recall our conversation from last night, but I'll repeat myself. I'm not ready to talk to you."

Anger flashed in his eyes and his jaw clenched. "You let Emmett, Jasper, and Alice apologize, but you won't let me?" His voice was no longer the one he used in front of his parents; it was the voice he used at school, the voice he used to demand respect and inflict pain. Part of me was glad to see the switch because it meant his parents could see the Edward I saw.

Carlisle noticed the change in his tone. "Edward." He warned.

"No, Carlisle, I can handle this," I said calmly. I waited for the fear to come as I turned to look Edward straight in the eye. It didn't. Edward Cullen didn't scare me. He didn't have the power anymore. I did. "The difference between them and you, _Edward_ ," again, my voice was filled with distaste as I said his name, "is that they all came to me and _asked_ if they could speak with me and apologize. They approached me calmly, and with remorse for what they've done. You, however, are demanding that I listen to you, just like you demanded I listen to you at school. That's not how it's going to work anymore. I'm the one with the advantage now. You don't have your crowd of students to block me from leaving. I can walk right out the door, whenever I want. You can't." He was getting angrier the more I spoke, but I didn't care. He was the one who needed to listen now. "If you want to apologize, you might want to give me a reason to want to listen to you. Because right now, I don't want to hear it."

This was the longest I'd ever spoken to him. Angrier than I'd ever seen him, he snatched up his plate and threw it in the sink before stomping up the stairs.

"What is _wrong_ with him?" Carlisle whispered to himself. Esme placed her hand on his arm to calm him down.

"We'll talk with him," she answered him.

I knew exactly what was wrong with him. He'd demanded my attention for so long now that he believed he was _owed_ it. _Tough luck asshole, things have changed._

Emmett started to apologize for his brother's behavior, but I cut him off. "Don't worry about it. I've heard worse."

He winced slightly. He knew I had. "That doesn't mean it's okay," he replied softly.

"No, but he can apologize for himself. Once he figures out how to properly apologize, that is. Eventually, he'll figure out what he's doing wrong. "

It wasn't long after continuing with our dinner that Jasper spoke up. "Dad, when Bella's ready to get her clothes and stuff from her house, can I take her? It's probably not that safe for her to be lifting heavy boxes just yet. I don't want her to hurt herself."

"I suppose you're right. It's not like you'll be able to sneak away without her noticing, and I definitely don't want her hurting herself." Carlisle agreed.

I rolled my eyes slightly. "I'm not _that_ clumsy."

"No, but I can picture you stacking dozens of books in a box and trying to carry the thing downstairs. Were you listening when I said that thing about not lifting anything over 20 lbs?" There was no real bite to his words, so I merely responded with another eye roll.

"I can help too, if that's okay with Bella. It'll get done much faster if there are more of us." Emmett offered politely.

"Why do you have to help her? Jasper can handle it himself." Rosalie snapped at Emmett.

"Rosalie." Emmett cautioned.

"Don't 'Rosalie' me. It's not like she has that much stuff anyway. Why are you so eager to help _her_?" Her face was turning red, and her breathing accelerated.

"I told you, Rose. I'm trying to make it up to her for being such an ass. Just because you don't have a conscience to make you feel guilty doesn't mean that I don't," he said harshly.

Throwing her napkin onto the table, she stood and stormed up the stairs, leaving her plate behind. My head throbbed.

"I'm sorry for her behavior," Emmett said seriously.

"Don't be. You're not responsible for her actions just like you're not responsible for Edwards. The way she sees it, I'm intruding into her home and hanging out with her boyfriend." I shrugged. "She doesn't bother me. I think it's sad, really. If she wants to be miserable for the rest of her time in this house, that's on her." He nodded before clearing both of their spots and retreating to his room.

"Well, I think it's safe to call it a night." Carlisle sighed. "Thank you two for being civil, unlike your siblings." He addressed Alice and Jasper. Standing with his and Esme's plate in his hand, he left the table. Before heading upstairs, he turned to me. "I'm sorry for my children's behavior. I know they're responsible for their actions, but clearly we missed something along the line." He bowed his head and followed his wife upstairs.

Clearing my own place, I set my plate in the sink before returning to the table to help clear it.

"Oh, don't worry about that, Bella. It's my night to do the dishes." Jasper said kindly.

"Trust me, I want to help. I like cleaning. It calms me." I insisted.

"Well, I won't fight you then." He surrendered with a chuckle.

With Alice's help, we cleared the table in one trip. She put the remaining food in containers and into the fridge, and then departed after a soft 'goodnight' and a hug with Jasper. Unlike Rosalie would have, Alice didn't feel the need to hover.

"Would you like to wash, or load?"

I looked at the fancy, complicated dishwasher. _How do you complicate a dishwasher?_ "I'll wash." He handed me the sponge. The conversation came easily. "So what were you reading today?" He blushed but didn't respond. "Jasper Hale, did you just blush? Ok, now I have to know." What was he reading, _50 Shades of Grey_?

He let out a quiet laugh. "It's nothing impressive."

"Oh, please. I read 'the lamest books ever written' according to half the schools' population. It can't be that bad."

"Fine, fine. I was reading one of Arthur Conan Doyle's stories."

"Sherlock Holmes?" It actually was impressive.

He let out a quiet groan. "I was hoping you wouldn't recognize the name." He chuckled despite himself.

"Wouldn't recognize Arthur Conan Doyle..." I trailed off in disbelief. "You realize reading is like my _only_ hobby, right? How would I not recognize a name as big as Doyle's? You shouldn't be embarrassed. Doyle's stories are wonderfully written classic mystery novels. Some of the best ever written."

"Ok, I told you mine, now it's your turn. What other collections did you buy today?"

It was my turn to blush. "The Hans Christian Anderson collection and the Grimm Brothers collection."

He paused what he was doing and looked up at me. "Seriously?"

"I know, fairytales are for kids."

"Ok, first of all, those fairytales are most definitely _not_ for kids. And second of all, I was going to say that's awesome. I may need to borrow those sometime."

"Anytime." Just then, the plate I was washing sipped from my hand into the sink, splashing soapy water all over Jasper's face and shirt. I froze, staring at him as he stared back. I couldn't read his expression.

Suddenly, he burst into laughter. I couldn't help but laugh with him. His shirt was soaked, and a chunk of soap bubbles managed to land in his hair.

"I am so sorry." I meant it.

"I see how it is, Swan." He said, eyeing me mischievously. Quickly - too quickly for me to react - he scooped up a handful of bubbles and flung them onto my cheek, thankfully missing my hair.

"Ok, ok, I deserved that. The fight stops here, I surrender." We laughed for a bit more before continuing our small talk and finishing the dishes. I was surprised to see he had a decent taste in literature, mostly of a fan of historical works and mystery novels, a genre that was high on my list of favorites.

We walked up the stairs together when we were finished. "Thanks for helping me, Bella." He said.

"Sorry for the mess," I replied.

He chuckled one more time before saying a quick 'goodnight' and ducking into his room.

I followed suit and closed myself into my room. Shutting out the light, I kicked off my shoes and crawled into bed. I'd unpack my bags tomorrow. Despite Edward and Rosalie trying to cast a shadow on the day, it had been a great one, and I went to bed with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This chapter very quietly set the time of year for us. It's early November (Bella said 'Summer is 8 months away') so the first semester of school is nearly over and the holidays are nearing. And yes, I mentioned 50 Shades of Gray, a Twilight fanfic turned book, in a Twilight fanfic. Please let me know what you think! I wish all my chapters could be this long, but it would take me so much longer to update so they'll be a rare treat.


	12. The Nightmares Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward tries to apologize to Bella. Bella's nightmares begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story begins on Wednesday morning, which is where the last chapter started, so there will be some repeat scenes you already read from another perspective.

“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” - Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

"The measure of intelligence is the ability to change." - Albert Einstein

**EdPOV**

It was just past 9:15 when I woke from a restless sleep. There weren't any dreams I remembered at the time, for which I was thankful. Pulling myself out of bed, I put a t-shirt on and slowly made my way downstairs. Carlisle said he had the early shift, so he would be at work by now.

Hopefully, Swan would be down there. I would apologize; she saved my life. She didn't let me last night, but today I was going to get my turn. I was going to apologize. Esme was leaving the kitchen just as I entered; in her hand was a plate with a bagel and a variety of fruit.

"Morning, Mom." She stopped briefly, and I grabbed her and kissed her cheek quickly.

"Good morning, Edward. I'm starting my video conference in a few minutes. I don't want to hear you guys today, got it? This is very important to my work."

"We'll behave. I promise." She gave me a small smile before turning and heading to her room, but it felt forced. The sooner I apologized and everyone got over this, the sooner everything would go back to normal.

I continued further into the kitchen and offered a 'good morning' to my siblings. They were all present but clearly had arrived not much earlier than I, as no one had started breakfast.

"You still making breakfast today, Jazz?" Emmett asked.

"We _all_ slept in, so I'll make an exception to the rules today." Emmett raised his fist in victory and took a seat at the counter.

Jasper acted annoyed, but we all knew he secretly enjoyed cooking. He'd gotten that love from Esme. He began pulling the ingredients out for pancakes while I grabbed a glass of orange juice.

Rosalie walked up to me and pulled me towards the living room.

"What's up, Rose?"

"Have you apologized to Swan?" She whispered, clearly not wanting anyone to hear our conversation. It wasn't past 9:30, and she was already in a pissy mood.

"Not yet. Why?"

"Not yet?" she scoffed. When I didn't respond, she continued. "Apparently Emmett _and_ Jasper apologized." I waited for her to elaborate. She didn't.

"Ok? What's wrong with that? She deserves an apology."

"She deserves nothing." She snapped. What was her problem?

"Rosalie. She _literally_ took a bullet for me, for _us._ Who knows how many of us could be dead right now, or at the very least in the hospital if it weren't for her?"

"Would everyone stop exaggerating? Yorkie would've pulled the trigger and shot you, then the police would have retaliated before he had the time to shoot anyone else." She snapped.

"Wow, thanks, _sis._ I'm glad you see my possible death as appropriate collateral damage." She rolled her eyes but didn't disagree. "Plus, you're wrong. Yeah, the police would have stopped him after the first shot, but how do you think the police even got there? Swan distracted Yorkie long enough for someone to call them and for them to arrive. If he would've just started shooting right away, he probably could've taken out all of us before they made it. We should apologize like we're supposed to and get over it."

_Speak of the devil, and she shall appear, right?_

Swan walked into the kitchen just then. She was looking at the ground at first, probably trying to prevent herself from falling like she always did. I don't know how a grown person could have such balance issues, I thought that was something you grew out of. As soon as she looked up and realized we were all here, she froze. A deer in the headlights. It took a few seconds for her to snap out of it. When she did, she grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and started to turn away.

"I'm heading out. Do you any of you know where Esme is?" she asked, looking at no one in particular.

"She's already started her video conference. I'll show you where the keys are, and which car is hers." Alice responded.

I had forgotten she was going out today. I'd have to find her later to apologize. Emmett and Jasper said goodbye as the two girls disappeared. Rosalie huffed and dropped the conversation, stomping into the kitchen and serving herself pancakes.

"Who said any of those were for _you,_ Rose?" Jasper asked. I wasn't the only one annoyed with her attitude.

"Bite me."

"Rose..." Emmett warned. She ignored him and took her food to the dining room to eat alone.

The day passed by slowly. After breakfast, we all lounged around the living room. An hour passed, and I grew impatient with sitting there waiting. Reading seemed like the only form of entertainment allowed, so I grabbed the first book I saw, which happened to be _The Story of King Arthur and His Knights._ In the afternoon, I gave up reading and decided to eat lunch, and then proceeded to my room to take a nap.

The sound of the garage opening woke me up around 4:30. I decided to take a long hot shower to pass the time before dinner. As I stood under the water, I started thinking about Swan again. If I apologized at dinner, she wouldn't be able to brush me off like yesterday. She wouldn't disrespect me in front of my family, she was too nice. Then everyone would see I apologized, and all would be forgiven. Mom and Dad would stop acting upset, Rosalie would go back to being bearable, and Jasper, Alice, and Emmett would stop feeling superior for already apologizing. Maybe Mom and Dad would even lighten the restrictions once they see everyone is getting along just fine. Well, as fine as six teenagers _could_ get along. Too much time alone with your thoughts wasn't good for anyone, they should surely know that.

After shutting off the water and returning to my room, I could smell dinner was close to ready. I dried my hair with a towel and dressed before heading downstairs. To my luck, Swan was just leaving her room as well. I followed behind her down the stairs. Just as we hit the second flight, one foot hit the other, and she started to fall forward. I rushed toward her and pulled her back as quickly as I could. Immediately, images from Monday flashed through my mind, my imagination mixing them with a different kind of nightmare. I saw her unconscious on the floor, blood pouring from her head rather than her stomach, turning paler and unmoving. Panic swelled inside me. She could have seriously hurt herself. Why wasn't she more careful?

"Watch it, Swan!" She recoiled from me instantly, and I knew I just fucked up my chance to apologize before dinner. I moved past her and continued down the stairs. I took my seat and waited to serve myself, ignoring the rest of the room while I thought.

I'd fucked up, damnit. It would've been so much easier to just get the apology over with before dinner. Then we would chat and make small talk at the table and prove to everyone that things were fine. It wasn't even my fault, it was hers. She needed to be more careful. She couldn't go around getting herself killed. Especially not before I apologized. I just needed to apologize and then everything would be fixed. She'd forgive me like she forgave Emmett and Jasper. Alice said she was going to talk to her today, so she probably forgave her, too. Now it was my turn. She just needed to forgive me, and then everyone could move on.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my name.

"Really? It's been so long since I've seen any of you with a book, I'm surprised you even remembered where the library is." Carlisle teased.

The conversation had died down. This was my chance. "Bella, I was wondering if I could talk to you after dinner."

Her jaw clenched. "Actually, Edward," she hissed my name, "it's been kind of a long day. I think I'm going to head to bed after dinner tonight. I'm awfully tired."

_Bullshit_. "It won't take long, just a few minutes." _Just hear me out, damnit._

"I don't know if you recall our conversation from last night, but I'll repeat myself. I'm not ready to talk to you."

I felt my fists clench. Since when did _Swan_ talk back? And to me? In front of my family? In _my_ house? No. You don't disrespect me in my house.

"You let Emmett, Jasper, and Alice apologize, but you won't let me?" Since when did she grow a backbone?

"Edward…" Carlisle warned.

"No, Carlisle, I can handle this." She replied. She looked me straight in the eyes. She rarely ever looked me in the eyes, and when she did, they were usually filled with fear, or at least respect. Now, they were defiant and determined.

"The difference between them and you, _Edward_ ," again she said my name with that tone, "is that they all came to me and _asked_ if they could speak with me and apologize. They approached me calmly, and with remorse for what they've done. You, however, are demanding that I listen to you, just like you demanded I listen to you at school. That's not how it's going to work anymore. I'm the one with the advantage now. You don't have your crowd of students to block me from leaving. I can walk right out the door, whenever I want. You can't."

Where did she get the nerve to speak to me like that? Like this was _her_ home, and _I_ was the outsider. She'd forgotten her place. She was the guest here, I was in not. And in my home, I deserved respect at the very least. I was about to explain this to her when I remembered my parents were watching me. _Screw this._ I retreated to my bedroom, taking my jeans off and throwing them in the corner before sliding into bed.

* * *

**BPOV**

The library was closed. The librarian was sick, so I guess I'll be eating lunch in the cafeteria. With a deep breath, I entered the cafeteria wearily. The Cullens were at their usual table, choosing to ignore me for once. I started eating my vending machine lunch, noticing how quiet it was. This wasn't normal.

Eric walked into the cafeteria, only to be stopped by the Cullens. They started poking fun at him, joking about his appearance. He was clutching his bag strangely, his whole body shaking and sweating.

_He has a gun._

Suddenly I remembered it all. I knew what was going to happen. He was going to shoot them. No, he was going to shoot me.

I stood up slowly and put my hands in front of me. "Eric? What are you doing?" I asked calmly, ready to reason with him. It worked last time, it would work this time.

He turned to me as if he knew exactly what I was going to do, suddenly eerily still. "You can't save them this time, Bella." He said flatly.

Before I could react, he shot Edward straight in the chest. _Bang!_ His body dropped like a sack of potatoes. Next was Emmett. _Bang!_ Then Jasper. _Bang!_ With each shot, more screams echoed behind me. I tried to run towards him, to stop him, but I was frozen. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. He raised the gun to Alice and pulled the trigger. _Bang!_ Finally, he pointed at Rosalie. _Bang!_ After the last bullet was fired, he turned to me. "I'm sorry, Bella." He raised his hand to his head.

_Bang!_

* * *

I woke up with a soft yelp, covering my mouth tightly to hold in a full scream. My father used to tease me about talking in my sleep. I prayed to the universe that I didn't do any talking - or _screaming_ \- last night.

_It was just a dream._

It was Thursday morning - the day the nightmares began. The clock read 6:24. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I noticed they were wet with tears. I moved to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. I continued playing my 'calm' playlist and stepped under the hot water, trying to relax. I showered quickly, trying to keep my mind focused on the music instead of the images that were playing behind my eyelids.

_It was just a dream._

Once out of the shower, I grabbed one of the bags from the floor. Ripping the tags off a pair of dark blue jeans, I slid them on before doing the same with a new beige sweater. I wouldn't be leaving the house today, so I didn't touch the makeup. I was too exhausted to put any more effort in, so I threw my wet hair into a bun. While I could barely keep my eyes fully open, I knew trying to find sleep again would be impossible. My body was exhausted, but my brain was racing. I decided to make myself breakfast, assuming I'd be the only one awake at this time.

As was the norm these days, I was wrong. Carlisle was leaving with a bagel in hand when I hit the bottom of the steps. "Have a good day, Bella!" _It's way too early to be that cheery._

"You too, Carlisle." He exited to the garage. Jasper and Alice were both in the kitchen, pulling ingredients out of the pantry. "Good morning," I said quietly. They both returned the greeting with a smile. I sat on one of the stools and supported my head with my palm. "Do you need any help, Jasper?"

"Nope. I make breakfast around here." He said seriously. I looked at Alice in question. She just nodded, matching his seriousness. I shrugged but didn't comment. Esme came down shortly after, dressed up professionally. Jasper let out a whistle. "Watch out world: here comes Mom."

She chuckled. "I told you yesterday, I'm going to be very busy these next few weeks. I'm heading into Seattle today, so I need to leave early this morning."

"When will you be back?" Alice asked.

"Probably around six. Dinner will have to be late tonight."

"Ok! Have a wonderful day, Esme." I said hurriedly before anyone else could speak. She said the same in return before giving all three of us a kiss on the forehead and heading out with a coffee in hand.

Jasper looked at me suspiciously. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You were rushing her out the door." He raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I figured we make dinner tonight and have it ready when she walks in the door. I rushed her and sent her to work so you guys wouldn't say anything and ruin the surprise, just in case you were thinking the same thing."

"I like the way you think, Bella." Alice smiled. Jasper began mixing.

"Pancakes?" I questioned.

"Waffles, today." I nodded in response.

Alice took the stool next to me while he turned pulled out a waffle maker and turned it on. "You look tired, Bella. Did you sleep alright?"

I shrugged, not wanting to get into it. "Not really."

"Were you too cold? We can get you another blanket if you need one. Do you need more pillows?" Alice took a breath, allowing me to cut in.

"No, no, it's not that." I hesitated, and then I remembered my deal with Alice. _Honesty_. "I had a nightmare." I looked her in the eyes and saw the pain that flashed in them.

"I'm sorry, Bella." She whispered.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. It's expected. I'll be alright." Not wanting a pity party, I moved the conversation along. "What about you guys? How did you sleep?"

Alice huffed. "Terribly." She scowled. I raised an eyebrow in question. "I'm not used to falling asleep alone. Usually, Jasper will lay next to me until I fall asleep, but now we're grounded, so…" Jasper chuckled but quickly turned it into a cough when Alice glared at him. "Why are you laughing at me? Are you happy you can't visit my room?"

"I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to laugh. You just have a very cute pouting face." Her glare intensified. "No, I don't… _not_ want to be around you. I just think that we could use some time to ourselves." She looked like she was about to object, but he didn't give her the chance. "I'm not saying we should take a break. What I'm saying is, I think we need some time to evaluate ourselves. To self-reflect. We need more time to ourselves to think about who we are and what's important to us. What parts of me do I like and want to further develop? What parts do I not want, that I need to work towards eliminating? Am I the person I want to be? How can I be better?"

Her face went from aggravation to understanding, and she turned all lovey. "You're right, Jazz." He leaned over the counter and gave her a soft kiss. I looked away; it felt like I was intruding on an intimate moment.

A few minutes later, two waffles and a bowl of fruit were placed in front of me. "Thank you, Chef Hale." 

He chuckled. "You're very welcome." He placed another plate in front of Alice, then sat beside us after making his own. Small talk flowed easily as we ate. Alice stopped and looked at her watch.

"He has four minutes," she said.

"Four minutes?" I was missing something.

"I have a deal with all my siblings. As I said earlier, I cook breakfast. Pretty much every day. So about a year ago, I made a deal. I'll cook for whoever wants breakfast, as long as they're downstairs by eight. Seven on a school day. That way I'm not trapped in the kitchen all morning, and no one takes it personally if I make breakfast for one of them and not the other."

"Sounds fair." I was struck by how different it must be growing up with such a large family. Living alone, I just grabbed a pop tart or had cereal for breakfast. Even when Charlie was around, he stuck to coffee and a banana. Hot breakfast wasn't something I was used to, but it would be added to the small list of 'pros' to living in the Cullen house.

"Emmett's the worst culprit. He's absolutely miserable when he's late and has to fend for himself, but he makes it in time most days. And he always cuts it close. Jasper won't budge, though. And as of now, he has… two and a half minutes." She checked her watch again.

With perfect timing, Emmett jogged into the kitchen with a huge dimpled smile on his face. "I made it! What's for breakfast?"

Jasper put his plate in the sink before returning to the waffle maker.

"Hell yeah. I _love_ waffles." He took Jasper's seat, gently nudging my arm with his own. "Morning, Bella."

"Morning, Emmett." I didn't want to admit it, but the easy, playful way we'd greeted each other made me smile. Maybe we would end up ok.

Jasper placed a plate in front of Emmett before cleaning up the kitchen. "So, what's the plan for today?"

I shrugged. "I don't have any plans. I was thinking of having a lazy day and watching movies."

"We're grounded, so we can't do anything fun," Emmett complained.

"Well…" I started, " _I'm_ not grounded. So if I put on a movie downstairs, and you guys just _happen_ to be in the living room..." I trailed off.

"Loophole!" Alice and Emmett said at the same time.

I slid off the stool and walked over to the movie cabinet. "I'm picking the movies, though. My choice."

They all agreed and I scanned through the titles. One caught my eye; it was too hard to pass up a musical, let alone a Disney musical. Plus I wanted to see if they would complain about my decision.

" _Frozen_." I held up the DVD as an offering. To my surprise, all three of them agreed in excitement, even the boys.

The day continued in such a manner. Neither Rosalie nor Edward joined us throughout the day, which was very nice. By four in the afternoon we had watched _Frozen, 21 Jump Street_ (I figured the boys needed something funny and 'tough' after the few tears that escaped during _Frozen_ ), and ended on _Panic Room_. I was surprised they owned it, but once I saw the title I insisted we watch it, it was my all-time favorite. In between movies, we broke for snacks and coffee. After last night's affair, I didn't think falling asleep during the movie was a safe option, so I stayed strongly caffeinated. Things were going well, but I did not need to freak anyone out by talking, or worse, screaming in my sleep. _Panic Room_ had just reached the credits when we heard the garage open.

We got up to welcome Carlisle home, and then immediately started dinner. Checking the fridge, I found asparagus and chicken breast, so I grabbed some rice from the pantry to pair with it. Carlisle smiled when he saw what we were doing, then went to his room to change.

The three of us talked pleasantly while we made dinner. "Esme's tour was a little short when I first got here, so who sleeps on what floor? And what other rooms are there aside from the library that I might like? This place has to be hiding rooms with how big it is."

Alice lit up and started explaining. "Emmett, Rose, and I are all on the second floor, along with Mom and Dad. Edward, Jasper, and the guest room - well, _your_ room - are on the third floor, along with Carlisle's office. There's a smaller office on the second floor as well that Mom uses when she works from home. It doubles as a craft room and has a bunch of different things. We don't use it much during the school year, but I'm up there a lot in the summer."

"Oh, and there's an addition on the other side of the garage that has a whole gym set up if you ever want to work out" Emmett added. "Treadmill, bike, you name it, it's there."

"I don't know how often I'll visit the gym, but it's good to know it's there. Thanks." Not feeling like being the center of the conversation any longer, I asked Alice about what kind of crafts she was into. She easily carried the conversation going on about sewing and fashion design.

We had just finished setting the table when we heard Esme pull in. Her face was full of surprise when she walked into the kitchen. I smiled in triumph.

"Oh, you guys are so sweet! Thank you so much for making dinner, you have no idea what this means to me."

Jasper pulled her in for a hug before kissing her cheek. "We love you, Mom. You worked all day, we figured you should get a break. Besides, it was Bella's idea."

"It was all of our ideas." I corrected _. "_ At least, we all helped execute the idea." She pulled me in for a hug before heading upstairs to change.

Dinner went by quickly and, for the first time, uneventfully. Everyone talked about their day, aside from Edward and Rosalie who appeared to have taken a vow of silence together. After a bit of convincing, Carlisle agreed there was nothing wrong with them being downstairs while I watched a movie, so long as I was actually there and the one who picked the movie out.

Before I knew it, I was putting my plate in the sink and stifling a yawn. I offered to help clean up dinner.

"I've got clean-up duty tonight," Esme said. Before anyone could object, she continued. "I didn't have to make dinner tonight, so it's only fair I help clean." Alice agreed, but only on the condition that she'd help.

Though it was still a bit early, we all headed to bed after dinner. I didn't even take off my jeans before collapsing onto the bed and welcoming sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I know this chapter seemed a bit like a filler chapter, but I wanted to give you a glimpse of how everyone is spending their days. The next chapter will be a bit of a filler too, but coming next is the day at La Push! Let me know what you think.


	13. A Suggestion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At another uncomfortable family dinner, Carlisle has an update on Eric Yorkie.

“Hope is important. It allows you to survive. But there's a point where tough love is required if you want to change.” - Brittany Burgunder

"Tomorrow you promise yourself will be different, yet tomorrow is too often a repetition of today." - James T. Mccay

**BPOV**

_'I'm sorry, Bella.' Bang!_

Not moving from the bed, I groaned into my hands and lie there for a while waiting for my heart rate to slow. _It was just a dream,_ I reminded myself. It was just after six in the morning. _Again_. Rolling out of bed, I made it downstairs early enough to catch Carlisle before he left for work again. I was really hoping I could start sleeping in more to actually enjoy my time off from school, but the universe had other plans.

"Good morning!" He said cheerfully. He looked perfect as always, fixing his coffee.

"Good morning, Carlisle. Heading out?" He nodded as he picked up his cup and headed towards the door. "Have a good day."

"You have an even better one." He hugged me gently and left the house before I could really react.

As I started making a bowl of oatmeal, I thought about his hug, and Esme's, and Angela's, and all the hugs I'd been given lately. The more I thought about it, I couldn't remember hugging anyone since Charlie's funeral. The Blacks had been there, along with Esme, Carlisle, and all of Charlie's coworkers. Since then, I'd distanced myself from the few friends I'd had, some by choice, others by what was going on at school. I'd been void of human contact for over a year, literally. Since the shooting, that changed.

When Angela first hugged me, it felt… _good_. I didn't realize until then how lonely I had really gotten. Even living in a house with seven other people didn't eliminate that loneliness. I hadn't realized how good the embrace of someone who cared could feel. Now that I was reminded of what I'd been void of for such a long time, I couldn't help but feel a bit sad. I didn't even realize how bad things had gotten.

Once I'd finished my breakfast, I decided to cook for the rest of the house. I needed to keep my hands busy to distract myself rather than dwell on my nightmares or immense loneliness. First thing on the list was coffee; I filled the machine up and started a full pot. Pulling out the eggs, I found a package of bacon in the fridge and some hash browns in the freezer. While everything cooked on the stove, I cut up some fruit and set it out on the counter along with some bagels. I was nearly finished when Esme came into the kitchen, Jasper and Alice trailing her.

"Good morning everyone." I smiled. When I saw Jasper and Alice, I felt comfortable. It was like they were allies in enemy territory; they made me feel safer. That thought immediately made me feel uneasy.

_Just because people can change, doesn't mean they will. Keep your guard up._

"Oh, Bella dear, you didn't have to cook breakfast!" Esme kissed my forehead before pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"It's nothing. I wanted to contribute in some way, so I figured this was the least I could do. Besides, I figure Jasper deserves a day off."

"Thank you, Bella." Jasper's accent was a bit more prominent than usual with the sleep still heavy in his voice. "It smells delicious. Can I help with anything, at least?" he offered.

"You can grab the plates and silverware if you'd like." He nodded and did as I asked.

"I'll go see if anyone else is awake. I'm sure it'll taste ten times better freshly cooked than reheated in an hour." Alice ran up the stairs.

"Do you have work today, Esme?" I asked.

"Yes, but I'll be working from home. I'll be in my office for the majority of the day. Do you need something?"

"Oh, no. Just curious. I'm going to hang around here today, no big plans."

"Well, that's lovely. Again, you're welcome to watch anything you'd like or grab a book from Carlisle's office. Make yourself at home. And if you want to go anywhere, you're welcome to use my car again until we go get yours. I'm sorry we haven't gotten it yet."

I fixed her a plate and sent her upstairs just as Alice reappeared with Emmett. "Good morning, Bells." He ruffled my hair as he passed. I didn't know people actually did that. "Alice told me there was bacon, so I'm up early."

I chuckled. "Well, everything's finished. Go ahead and serve yourself."

"You're not eating?" Alice asked.

"I already had breakfast. I woke up pretty early." I shrugged, moving to the sink to start on the dishes. When I was halfway through my chore, Edward came downstairs.

"Good morning, Bella." He said, smiling with a bit too much effort.

"Edward." I nodded.

"Bacon, hash browns, and scrambled eggs. You outdid yourself, Jasper." He started piling food onto his plate.

"Actually, Bella made breakfast today." Jasper corrected.

Edward turned to me. "Oh. Thank you, Bella."

I nodded silently before attempting to start the dishwasher and drying my hands. The machine lit up and started to make noises, so I must have figured it out. Retreating to my room, I grabbed my new Grimm collection and went back downstairs. The sun was beginning to emerge from the trees. It looked like today would be a rare sunny day.

"I'll be out back if you need anything," I said over my shoulder. Opening the back door, I sat on the swinging bench and began to read.

The book was successful in engrossing me and taking my mind off things. Reading was my favorite hobby because you could go anywhere. I hadn't traveled much in my lifetime, but through reading, I got a taste of so many different places and worlds. The more I read, the more I realized how right Jasper was when he said these fairytales were most definitely _not_ meant for children. I don't know how long I had been out there, but it must have been a few hours. Alice opened the back door and stuck her head out. "We made sandwiches for lunch." She held out a plate as an offering.

"Thank you, Alice. You didn't have to." I took the plate from her.

"It's a thank you for breakfast. Do you want a coffee?" Her face said what her mouth didn't – ' _you look tired'._ I nodded with a smile. "Cream, sugar?"

"A spoonful of both, thanks." I peeked in the house as she returned to the kitchen. Emmett and Jasper were playing a game of chess while Edward was sitting on the floor against the back door reading. It looked like he was trying to catch as much of the rare sunlight as he could without actually leaving the house.

Alice returned briefly to drop off my coffee and a blanket. "In case you want to lay in the grass," she explained.

I ate lunch quickly, then went to lay in the grass and resume reading. After a few more hours, I set the book aside and stared up at the clouds. The sun was rapidly lowering, and the cold was returning. I closed my eyes to take it in a moment longer before sitting back up. Looking back to the house, I saw Edward looking outside towards the sky, his eyebrows pushed together. His eyes closed, and he shook his head, leaning his head on the glass and looking tired.

I felt a pinch of guilt. I should hear him out and let him apologize. I needed to just talk to him and start moving forward. Dwelling on all of this anger and hurt and _whatever_ this was… it just needed to stop. After all that happened, this family, this _town,_ just needed to heal _._ _You can't heal if you don't treat the wound._

He opened his eyes and looked right at me.

Ok, maybe not yet. Soon, but not today. Sunday sounded like a decent plan. Sunday, I would give him the chance to talk to me. I'd listen to what he had to say, and then it would be my turn to talk. I'd only listen to him if he listened to me.

Looking at my watch, it was nearly five in the evening. I had successfully made it through the day with little interaction or confrontation. Retrieving my book, blanket, and lunch dishes, I returned to the house.

Edward stood and opened the door for me. "Bella-"

"Sunday." I cut him off.

"Sunday?" he questioned.

"Sunday, we can talk." His mouth curved into a small smile. "Sunday we can talk, but listen to me, Edward. I'm not going to sit here and let you demand things of me like the last time. It's different now. If you want me to listen, you're going to have to talk to me like I'm an _actual_ human being. And you're going to have to respect me, ok? Respect is a two-way street."

His eyes saddened, and he looked a bit... ashamed? "I understand, Bella."

"And when you're done apologizing, you owe me an explanation. Answers. Ok?"

He nodded again. "Ok."

I nodded, raising my chin and walking into the house. Esme was in the kitchen cooking dinner, as usual. I set my book on the coffee table and joined Alice in the dining room to help her set the table.

Shortly after, everyone had taken their seats and began eating. Carlisle hadn't touched his plate yet, looking at his and Esme's joined hands. No one spoke like they usually did, waiting for Carlisle to say something.

"I spoke with Eric Yorkie's parents today." At the sound of Eric's name, everyone stopped eating. Their faces were a mask of fear, some guilt.

"Is he okay?" I was the first to speak up.

"He's agreed to seek treatment in a psychiatric hospital in Seattle for the next few months. This means there won't be a trial in court. Once he is deemed mentally healthy, he will be homeschooled for the remainder of his high school career."

I was stunned into silence for a few moments. "He's in a psych wardl?" I asked, disbelief in my voice. "He's not crazy!"

"He tried to kill us, Swan! He's the definition of crazy." Rosalie snapped.

"Rosalie!" Esme exclaimed.

"No one's saying he's crazy, Bella." Carlisle answered, looking at Rosalie warily. "He's agreed to talk to someone about what he's been going through. He snapped and brought a gun to school. He's not well, Bella. He knows he needs help… so he doesn't put himself or others in danger again." He paused before clearing his throat and addressing the rest of the table. "In fact, I think it'd be very wise if you all talked to somebody about it. You went through a very traumatic experience. Aside from that, I think you need to talk to someone about what has been going on over the last few years. Bella, it might be good for you to open up about how you've dealt with all this, and how you're dealing with it now that you're living here. And as for the rest of you, you should talk to someone and figure what it is that led you to bully. It's unacceptable, and in order for you to not end up repeating your actions in the future, you need to get to the root of it."

Rosalie was quick to retort. "I'm not going to talk to some shrink. I'm not crazy. So what, I picked on some kids at school. It's normal, plenty of people do it. It doesn't mean I need _psychiatric_ _help_." The venom in her words was worse than I'd ever heard before.

"Rosalie Hale, you stop that right now," Carlisle warned.

My appetite was lost. I was truly amazed that she could be so fucking ignorant. So high and mighty. So _wrong._

"Are you seriously that blind, Rosalie?" I scoffed. "I got shot and nearly died because you tormented Eric to the point where he saw no way out other than to end your life and probably his own. You honestly see nothing wrong with that? You honestly think that's 'normal?' What if he shot Edward like he planned? What if it was Emmett?" For once, she didn't have a reply. "You could have died before 18th birthday, never making it to graduation, never getting married, never growing old. That doesn't make you feel _anything_?"

I didn't wait for a response. I picked up my plate and deposited it in the kitchen. By the time I was upstairs, I could feel the tears on my cheeks. Maybe Carlisle was right. Maybe I did need to speak with someone. It couldn't hurt. My head was starting to ache, so I took a few painkillers before changing into a pair of leggings and climbing into bed. Grabbing my phone, I set my alarm for eight tomorrow morning. Despite the unpleasant end to the day, I was excited to get away from it all and spend tomorrow at La Push. It was always good to get outside of the Cullen home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Again, I'm sorry this one was a little shorter, but it was necessary - the kids definitely need therapy. But tomorrow's the big day! We get to meet the ~human~ Quiluetes. Let me know what you think.


	14. A Day at La Push

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella reconnects with her friends at La Push.

"Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend." - Sarah Dessen

"When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable." - Jesse C. Scott

**BPOV**

I woke up before my alarm had the chance to sound. Thankfully I couldn't remember the dreams, or nightmares, I had last night. Within twenty minutes I was out of the shower and had spread out the entirety of my limited wardrobe onto the bed. This was the first time I'd been to La Push since Charlie died. I wanted to show Jacob and everyone that I was fine, I was put together. Especially after the news made its way over about what happened at school, I needed them to know what I knew - I was a new Bella. A strong Bella.

Deciding on a dark pair of jeans, I held it next to a dark blue long-sleeved shirt and a warm gray sweater. It looked well put together and should be enough to keep from freezing if we went to the beach. I threw the rest of my clothes back into the dresser and made my way to the shower. Blow drying my hair took a while, unfortunately, but it was nearly straight when I was done, so it was worth it. After I had finished, I heard my phone go off. Rushing to answer it, I rolled my eyes at myself as I realized it was just my alarm. Eyeing the smaller bag on the desk across the room, I debated wearing makeup today.

_Oh, what the hell._

I picked up the bag gingerly and returned to the bathroom. Light face powder and some mascara were as far as I'd ventured. Stepping back, I admired myself in the mirror. I liked what I saw. My mouth curved into a smile. Immediately, even without any negative thoughts from the little voice in my head, I felt my shoulders slump in defeat as I dismissed the positive feeling. Feeling dejected for no real reason, I exited the bathroom and started preparing for the day.

Usually, I'd pack my backpack with emergency items like a phone charger, hairbrush, extra shirt, feminine products, Band-Aids, the usual, and bring it along with me. Today was different. I wanted to feel completely free today. If my phone died, so be it. If I spilled my drink all over my shirt, then I would just hide it under my sweater. If I tripped and cut myself somehow, which was very possible on the rocky shore, then Jake could find me a bandage. Today was going to be just me and my friends, and some laid-back fun.

With my phone in one pocket and my wallet in the other, I departed my room. The lower floor was empty, so I made myself a bowl of oatmeal. About halfway through my breakfast, Esme entered the kitchen in her pajamas looking barely awake, with a similar-looking Carlisle behind her.

"Good morning," Carlisle paused with a yawn. "How did you sleep?" The two of them walked over to me.

"Pretty well, actually." I smiled, glad again that it was the truth. Esme enveloped me into a hug. "How about you two?"

"Far too long," she chuckled. "If I'd been up just a bit earlier, it looks like I would have caught you before you made yourself breakfast. I always cook on Saturday morning."

"I'll remember that for the future. Today, however, I'm heading out early for the day. I'm going down to La Push to hang out with some of my old friends."

"That sounds like a perfect way to spend a Saturday." Carlisle smiled, grabbing a mug from the cupboard and starting up the coffee machine.

"Shoot, we still haven't gotten your truck!" Esme exclaimed. "You can just take my car again, I'm sorry dear."

"Don't worry about it, Esme, you've had a busy week. And if I'm honest, I'm thoroughly enjoying your car in the meantime." I'd gotten past the strange feeling that I was taking advantage of her, so it really didn't bother me to use it again.

"Well, it's my fault we haven't gotten your truck, so it's only fair I let you use mine in its place."

By then I'd finished eating, so I went to wash my bowl. "Nonsense. You've been busy with work, you are at no fault."

"When are you heading out?" She asked.

I checked the clock on the stove. It was around 9:15. "I'm going to call Jake and make sure they're awake. If they are, I'll probably leave right away." I could hear the excitement evident in my voice.

"Well go on, we won't keep you any longer." Carlisle chuckled.

I nodded, pulling my phone out and heading towards the living room. Esme stopped me for a moment. "By the way, you look beautiful today, Bella. Not that you don't every day, but this is different." She gave me a smile. I felt my cheeks redden.

"Thank you," I chuckled awkwardly.

Pulling my phone out, I dialed Jake's number. He answered on the first ring.

_"Bells!"_

"I'm surprised you're awake Jake! I figured I'd have to wait a few hours to head over." I chuckled. I heard his laugh through the phone, along with several other voices chiming in.

_"Nah, we're all awake! Well, except Paul, but Embry's getting some ice water."_ I laughed along with him, glad I wasn't in Paul's shoes. I really did miss them. The realization had hit of how long it had been since we'd seen each other. Jake continued. _"We miss you! You really think we'd sleep in on the day away we knew we'd get to see you? Who knows if it'll be another year before we see you again?"_ He was teasing, but I could tell there was a bit of truth to his words.

"Ok, ok, I'm on my way! I'll be there in a bit. Meet up at your house?"

" _No, we're all at Sam's. Emily made breakfast."_

"Alright, Sam's house in 20. I'll be there." There was a chorus of voices in the background along the lines of ' _see ya soon!_ ' "Bye, Jake." I smiled, feeling fully ecstatic now.

Hanging up the phone, I returned to the kitchen, moving quickly. "I'm leaving now, thank you again Esme!" I gave them both a quick hug before jogging to the garage and ducking into the car.

Twenty minutes later, after driving faster than I ever had before, I was pulling onto the reservation. I was amazed that I hadn't forgotten the way to Sam's house, despite how long it had been. Unlike the other times I'd visited the guys, I didn't have my screaming truck to announce my presence, so I managed to park the car and walk up to the porch without anyone coming out to meet me. Without hesitation, I knocked and opened the door, walking straight in.

The whole gang was there, Jacob, Paul, Embry, Leah, everyone… even little Seth, who was not so little anymore.

"Bella!" they all chorused.

Jake cut through the room and pulled me into a tight hug, squeezing the air out of me. To my surprise, my eyes began to sting with tears, and not because I was in pain. I was struck with just how much I'd missed him. I held on to him tightly, despite the pain in my side.

"Oh, Bells, I've missed you" he mumbled into my ear.

"I missed you too, Jake." I admitted.

"Hey, hey, don't be greedy! I missed her too, I want a hug." Embry joked.

With a low chuckle, Jake released me and set me back on the ground. I went around the room hugging everybody. By the time I got to Seth, I let out a laugh.

"What did you eat? A horse? You're huge, Seth!"

He yanked me into a hug and laughed into my hair. "I've become a man, Bella. Aren't you proud?" he teased.

"You're 14, you're not a man just yet," Leah argued.

I pulled away and made my way to the kitchen. Sam, Emily, and Billy were sitting around the table. At the sight of Billy, the sting in my eyes returned. Without a word, I walked over to him and pulled him into a hug.

"Oh, Bella. We've missed you," he said quietly. His smell reminded me of Charlie. The musky cologne they both wore, the ocean in his hair like they've spent the whole day on the water, the smell of tobacco clinging to his jacket from a cigar. It felt like Charlie was in the room.

Breaking the hug, he smiled at me. "It's so good to see you, Bella. You've changed so much in the last year. Charlie would be so proud of the beautiful young lady you've become." I felt my throat tighten as he continued. "I know he always said you looked like your mother, but you've got his eyes. I feel like he's here."

My heart clenched as I realized what my absence had done to him. He lost his best friend, and he lost me too when I left. "Thank you, Billy. It's good to see you, too," I said with a hitch in my voice, turning to Sam. "And thank you so much for having me over, Sam, Emily."

"You know you're always welcome, placing his hand on my shoulder briefly. "I made some muffins. Why don't you grab one before the boys steal them all?"

I grabbed one even though I had already eaten breakfast. I learned a long time ago to take food when it was offered around here, or it wouldn't be there for you later. Plus, Emily was an excellent baker. _Chocolate chip heaven._ I had barely pulled my hand from the plate when four others reached over me and started grabbing. Escaping from the chaos, I grabbed a seat on the couch before they were all taken. The guys surrounded me on the couch, Jake to my left, Embry to my left, and Seth sat on the ground in front of me.

"So, Bella…" Paul started. My mouth was filled with muffin, so I raised an eyebrow in response. "Tell us the story."

Swallowing slowly, my eyes narrowed. "What story?"

"Oh, come on Bells. Everyone on the Res knows someone tried to shoot up the school." He explained.

"Sensitivity, Paul. Ever heard of it?" Jake quipped. Their expressions were a mix of concern and curiosity, but there was a hint of anticipation like they were waiting to hear a great story.

With a sigh, I warned them. "It's not that cool of a story, guys. Just saying." When I was met with silence, I continued with a sigh. "The kids at that school are just… messed up. They've been bullying some kids for the last few years." I decided to leave out any names. "Well, one of them snapped, I guess. We were at lunch, and when the kids started messing with him, he pulled a gun out. I knew him fairly well, and I just _knew_ , I could see it in his eyes. He was going to kill someone." I shook my head as images, both from that day and from my dreams, flashed through my mind. "So, I tried to talk him out of it, and when I realized it wasn't working, I kind of just slammed into him and hit the gun out of his hands. He was trying to hurt someone else, not me. I just got in the way." I had a feeling they were hoping to get to pick a fight in my 'honor', so I wanted it to be very clear that it was an accident.

"You're a hero, Bella!" Seth swooned dramatically, hugging my legs and looking up at me.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm a Swan, alright? What did you expect?" Though there was a dull ache when I thought about Charlie, being around the guys and joking about it felt… good. It made me sad, but not as sad as letting his memory die with him.

"Can I see it?" Embry asked.

"Gross. Seriously? You wanna see _that_?" Shaking my head, took off my sweater and lifted up my shirt. Carlisle had removed the bandage yesterday, but a dark bruise was still spread across my ribs along with a small, still angrily red scar from the surgery.

"Sick!"

"Sick? Nobody says 'sick' anymore, Seth." Jake rolled his eyes.

After everyone had their look, I adjusted my clothing and stood up. "So, are we going to sit around all day, or are we going to have some fun?"

"Hell yeah, we are!" Embry jumped up and turned towards the door.

Thanking Emily and Sam again, I made my way outside into the fresh air. The sun was trying its hardest to shine through the clouds, it looked like a second sunny day might be a possibility.

"Hey, I want to show you what I've been working on in the garage!" Jake grabbed my arm and all but dragged me to the garage in excitement. We moved around the corner of his house and into his shack of a garage. Honestly, I didn't understand how he could work in this mess. "Are you ready?" I was a little unsure, and I'm sure my face showed it. Regardless, I nodded. "Ta-da!" he shouted, lifting up a dirty tarp and flinging leaves everywhere. _What the hell is that?_ "So? What do you think?"

I heard some of the guys chuckle at my puzzled expression. "Jake…" Scrambling to figure out what it was, I continued. "I'm sorry, Jake, but... what _is_ it?" His face fell, which earned a hearty laugh from Paul. I elbowed him in the ribs and shot him a dirty look, but I couldn't prevent a smile from spreading across my face. "I'm sorry Jake, but that just looks like a giant hunk of metal."

His face turned into one I saw frequently when we were kids, right about the time he was about to throw a temper tantrum and shun me for the day. While I'd love to see if he would be so dramatic as a 16-year-old boy, I didn't want to risk ruining our perfect Saturday and jumped to console him.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm sure it's going to turn out great. You're very handy. I just don't know what it is… Is it an engine, or a… motor?" I guessed. Those were about the only two things that I could think he would be working on.

"It's a motorcycle, Bells. But nice try." His look turned into one of slight disappointment, but he was smiling again.

"A motorcycle? There aren't even wheels on the thing, give me a break." Rolling his eyes, he grabbed my wrist and brought me alongside him to his 'motorcycle.' _It's a stretch to call that anything but junk, even for him_. Unaware of what I'd be getting myself into, I indulged him. "Alright, Jakey, tell me all about your _motorcycle_."

If I hadn't felt bad for staying away from the reservation for so long, I'd have told Jake to shut up after the first twenty minutes. But since my guilty conscience was still pretty strong, I let him go on. The rest of the boys carried on with their own conversations as he showed me the engine, all the tinkering he had done, the papers with all his plans for the bike, where he was planning on getting all the scrap pieces, where he was getting money for new pieces… He was all oil-covered hands and a sweaty forehead. We were approaching an hour when I had to call it.

"Alright, you've lost me," I admitted, a little worried he'd be upset.

Instead, he laughed. "Sorry, I tend to get carried away. I've done all the hard work with rebuilding the engine, now I'm just excited to finish the rest of the work."

"Oh, you're done boring Bella out of her mind? Great, 'cause I think it's time to grab something to eat and head to the beach." Paul ducked a swing from Jake, laughing it off.

I opened my mouth to protest the beach idea, but as we headed out of the make-shift garage I saw that by some miracle, the sun was out and showing its beautiful rays. However, I did speak up about the food. "Paul. You _literally_ just ate- " I checked my watch, "53 minutes ago. How could you possibly be hungry?" These boys are seriously monsters. Bottomless pits.

"I'm a growing boy. I need to sustain myself." Paul answered back in a snooty tone.

"Speaking of, what are you all taking? Seth looks like he's grown at least a foot taller since I last saw him, and you all look massive."

Embry was the one to answer. "We Quileute boys are fast growers, we're like bears," Embry explained. They certainly looked like they were on their way to becoming bears.

We stopped inside Sam's house for a moment, grabbing the last of the muffins and a picnic basket filled with a lunch that Emily was sweet enough to pack. We sent her a round of 'thank you's and left for the beach.

Without warning, the guys all started running towards the shore, forcing me to sprint to catch up to them. With a sudden feeling of freedom, I pushed myself forward, relishing in the feeling of my muscles propelling me through the sand. They reached the beach before me, and by the time I arrived, I collapsed on the sand, rolling onto my back and staring up at the sun. My breath came in quick gasps from how out of shape I was in, along with the fire in my side I felt with every breath.

"Woah, you alright there, weakling?" Embry joked.

"Come on guys, she got shot like four days ago." At least Seth vouched for me. I wasn't mad, but I could be…

Concealing a smile, I decided to give Embry a taste of his own medicine. I started to exaggerate my labored breathing, not holding back the expression of pain I was used to hiding. Their laughing stopped, and worry shadowed their faces.

"Hey, I was just kidding. Seriously, are you ok?" Embry asked sincerely.

I opened my mouth a few times as if I was trying to speak but couldn't get the words out. After a few seconds of that, I gave up and shook my head. _Man, they're eating this up._ Now I had them really worrying. They surrounded me, kneeling down and pulling me up so I was sitting up with Jake holding my back up.

"Breathe Bella, breathe. What hurts? What happened?" Jake started interrogating, his voice getting tight and filled with worry and fear.

"I… I- " I cut myself off with an over-the-top cough, the pain in my side worth it.

"What, Bella?" Paul asked, holding my shoulders with more caution and gentleness I'd thought he was capable of.

"I…" I paused dramatically. "GOTCHA!"

Their expressions went blank for a second, then realization hit. Jake moved from behind me causing me to fall back into the sand.

"Damnit, Bella. What the hell is wrong with you? You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Jake shouted.

I couldn't even hear the rest of their reactions; I was laughing so hard. "I'm so- I'm sorry," I gasped between laughs. "Oh, man, you should've seen your faces! It was so worth it!" I felt my eyes start to water from the hysterics. Suddenly, the ground disappeared from underneath me. It took me a second to realize what was happening. I realized I was being carried towards the ocean.

"You wanna joke? Oh, we can joke." Jake had me in his arms. _He's going to throw me into the water._

"Jake. Don't you dare." Now he was the one laughing. "Jacob! Put me down!"

"What, it's not funny anymore? Cause I think this is pretty funny!"

I started to struggle, but Jake was very strong and he held me tight. I was running out of time, his feet were in the water.

"Jacob Black, you listen to me. I'm not supposed to swim. If you let go of me I swear to you-" my threat was cut off and I was sent falling into the water. The water was ice. Once I was at the surface, I gasped for air and let out a shriek. "Jacob! That was so uncalled for!"

Storming into the water, the rest of the crew joined us, laughing along with Jake.

"You so deserved that, Bella! That was dirty. You can't play with our emotions like that." Seth rambled on, splashing me with water. Giving up the fight, I sucked it up and decided to swim for just a bit.

* * *

We spent the day alternating between laying in the sand and jumping back in the water several times. By the time we got out of the water for the final time, it was already past four in afternoon. It was so entertaining just to watch them all interact. I couldn't even remember the last time I had laughed so much, nor could I remember why I had deprived myself of such happiness. I just felt… _content_.

The sun had retreated back to its hiding place behind the clouds, leaving me shivering and wet. The boys didn't seem bothered by the cold, but Paul made a blanket run, and by the time we were all dry, Emily, Sam, and the rest of the boys' families were filing out to meet us for an early dinner that smelt intoxicating. The boys were definitely ready to eat anything in sight. Not being used to doing much physical activity, I felt like I had burned more calories in the last few hours treading water than I had eaten in the entire last week. It was worth every second.

After disappearing from the sky, the sun took no time leaving for the night and letting the moon take its place. The breeze had picked up, and with my hair still wet, I moved closer to Jake, soaking in his warmth. A fire was started, and we all gathered around like kids at camp waiting to hear ghost stories. As plates loaded with food were passed around the circle, we all turned to Sam as he began to tell the history of the Quiluete tribe and its ancestors. I was absorbed in every word that came from his mouth. It was magic… a hundred time better than reading about ancient wars or historical novels, because it was real. He spoke as if he had been there for every part of it; how the tribesmen were changed from wolves by a wandering Transformer, recalled the coming of many foreigners who made the tribe sign a treaty that forced them to relocate, the white men trying to change the names of the children when they taught them in school, all the way up until they had been given the land in La Push as a reservation. Sam switched in between English and their native language. Jake did his best to translate when he could.

Towards the end of his story, I felt the exhaustion from the day hit me. I leaned my head on Jake's shoulder. He looked down on me and gave me lazy smile. Kissing the top of my head, he wrapped his arm around me and started rubbing my arm to warm me up. I felt comfortable and safe. I'd never thought of Jake in a romantic way, but someday he'd make some lucky girl very happy.

"You looked drained. You ready to head home?" ' _Home_.' I sighed, nodding sleepily. It was just past eight. "Come on, I'll walk you to your car."

After thanking everyone for dinner, I exchanged hugs and said my goodbyes. Giving one last long hug to Billy, I apologized again for being gone so long. Making a very slight head shake, Jake looked at Paul and Embry when they started to follow us out. They fell back to the fire and waved.

Looping his arm in mine, Jake walked beside me with his head bowed in silence. The wind bit, but the night was gorgeous. It was as if all the stars had come out tonight and clouds were letting them shine. Once we reached the car, he spun me around and pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug.

"Jake - I can't breathe…" I choked out, but he didn't let go. I just wrapped my arms around him and sunk into his chest. After a moment, I continued. "No really Jake, I can't breathe."

He released me with watery eyes, and his face was a mixture of both trouble and happiness. "Sorry, I-" he cleared his throat. "I just- I missed you so much, Bella. I didn't know if I'd ever see you again." His voice broke towards the end, and I felt my chest tighten.

"Jake, I'm sorry, I just-"

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for, Bells, I mean it. I understand needing space. Just... Just promise me it won't be another year before I see you again."

"I promise."

He pulled me in for another hug, a little lighter this time. This time when he let go, that winning smile was back on his face. "See ya, Bella."

"See ya, Jake." I smiled, getting into the car and starting the engine. I watched him retreat in the rear-view mirror until his form was swallowed by the trees.

* * *

I was walking in the door by 8:30, a smile stuck on my face from having the best day I'd had in a while. Since it was a Saturday night, the whole Cullen family was awake and gathered in the living room. I earned a few greetings. The drive home had woken me up significantly, so I decided to join them for a bit.

_If you're going to be here for a while, no sense in being a recluse. Let's find out if they're really trying._

Upon reaching the living room, I noticed there were ice cream sundaes in everyone's hand, the ingredients still littering the coffee table. Everyone was spread out on the couches with some sitting on the floor. Aside from Rosalie, they all looked happy. Edward surprisingly didn't look angry at me just for existing, nodding at me when I met his gaze.

"You look happy. How was your day? What'd you do? Where'd you go?" Alice shot off at a mile a minute, only pausing to take a bite of her ice cream, which looked to be mostly cool whip and chocolate sauce.

My smile grew as I plopped down between her and Emmett on the floor. Rosalie looked unpleasant, as always, but kept her place on the couch and continued eating. Before I could answer Alice, Emmett was pushing an empty sundae glass into my hand, pointing out the different ingredients of the dessert buffet in front of me.

As I began to assemble my masterpiece, I started talking. "I went to the La Push reservation today. Charlie was best friends with some of the guys down there, they used to hunt together all the time." My heart barely ached when I mentioned Charlie, making me hopeful that I'd be able to talk about him more often without the sadness being overwhelming. "I made friends with some of the kids growing up, and I haven't been to see them since he died." Finished building my sundae, I leaned back and took a bite.

"You spent the whole day with them? What'd you do? What can you do on a reservation? Is it different than the rest of the town?"

"What kind of question is that, Alice?" Emmett leaned over my head and ruffled her hair. Her response was to stick her tongue out, ever so mature.

"It's a bit different, the houses are a lot closer together which is nice. We ate, a _lot_. Then we just spent the whole day at the beach since the sun actually came out."

"You went to the beach?" Rosalie asked, her face full of longing.

I didn't bother suppressing my chuckle. "Yeah, it was great. And afterwards we ate dinner around the camp fire and listened to old stories of the tribe." I let out a whimsical sigh. "It was the perfect day."

"I'm glad you had fun. It's good you got out of the house" Jasper smiled.

I nodded in agreement. "So, what were you guys up to today?" I finished the rest of my sundae, which was mostly banana slices, chocolate sauce, and whip cream, while they all took turns chatting around me.

They all ate breakfast together and then scattered around to spent the morning in various ways. Jasper and Emmett played chess again; Alice helped Esme replant the garden in the backyard. Carlisle worked on some research he'd been doing the last few months. Rosalie worked on her car in the garage. Edward stayed locked in his room and read. After lunch they all watched a movie together and played Monopoly after dinner. Once they finished their game (which, according to Jasper, was on hold and not actually finished) that's when they pulled out the ingredients for sundaes.

Everyone had talked, even Rosalie and Edward. While they didn't seem to be on the same _'I'm sorry, let's be friends'_ page as their siblings, they seemed to have made some sort of change - as minimal as it may be. The hostile energy was at a minimum. The atmosphere was light, and everyone seemed to be in a relatively good mood. The night was quickly passing, and when I could no longer stifle the yawns that came every five minutes, I decided it was time for bed. I had reached for my dishes to bring them to the kitchen when Edward grabbed my wrist.

"I got it. It's my night to do the dishes," he explained. I looked down at our hands, my chest tightening a bit and my stomach flipping. This wasn't a good _'a boy is touching me and I have butterflies'_ kind of stomach flip. It was more like a _'there's a bigger, stronger person with a bad temper squeezing my wrist'_ kind of stomach flip. He quickly let go of my wrist once he realized he was touching me. "Sorry."

"It's fine." I dismissed it. I rose quickly and began to retreat. "Goodnight, everyone. I'll see you tomorrow."

As I climbed the stairs, my previous discomfort from Edward touching me was replaced with surprise that he apologized for it. It wasn't much, but it was something. It was effort. Which was the smallest first step towards actual progress. I struggled to peel my still slightly damp jeans off and had just begun pulling back the comforter when there was a knock on my door. I opened it slightly, sticking my head out to see Edward standing there, twiddling with his thumbs. He stood there for a few seconds in awkward silence. Finally, he spoke up.

"Sorry if I woke you," was all he said.

"You didn't," I answered.

"Good." Silence resumed.

_Did he come to my room just to apologize for coming to my room?_ I raised an eyebrow. He looked like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. "Okay…" I drew out the word. "Well, I'm just going to go to bed if there's nothing-"

"Sunday?" he interrupted, looking determined and a bit hopeful.

I forced a small smile and nodded. "Sunday."

"Okay." He nodded, smiling back slightly. Then without another word, he turned and retreated to his room down the hall.

Crawling into bed, still filthy and smelling like ocean and fire, I swear it felt like a little piece of heaven when my head hit the pillow and I closed my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This was my favorite chapter to write so far. Bella needed a good time. Please let me know what you think of the Quilietes and Bella's interaction with them. And here's where I got my information on the tribe, if you're interested in learning the actual history of the Quilietes: quileutenation .org (without the space before .org)


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